The Severance of Haruhi Suzumiya
by Greg Zerich
Summary: *Set after a possible outcome of book 10* When Haruhi makes a startling confession about the person she loves, can Kyon and her survive the fallout and the effect it will have on the SOS Brigade. Can Kyon solve this dilemma, does he even want to?
1. Chapter 1

**The Severance of Haruhi Suzumiya**

"Gráím thú"

"Jeg Elsker Dig"

"Ani Ohevet Otcha"

"Ti amo"

"Je t'aime, Je t'adore"

"Ich liebe Dich"

"Suki Yo"

"I love you."

How can these simple words, regardless of the language in which they are spoken, be so incredibly joyful? And yet, at the same time, how devastating can these words also be, even when delivered without an ounce of sarcasm or irony?

I found both things out the hard way, and now I'm not so sure what to do about it. My name is… well, my name's not important, everyone just calls me Kyon anyways, so I guess it's what I'll go by. Anyways, this is the story of a girl I know, a self-centered, egotistical brat, but also paradoxically a talented and uniquely wonderful girl named Haruhi Suzumiya, and plain old boring me. This is a story about how we broke each others hearts.

She just didn't realize it at the time.

* * *

I'd say that it started off like a usual day, but in the SOS brigade that phrase doesn't mean quite the same thing as it does everywhere else in the universe. Still, it was about as normal as one could expect it to be. Asahina-san was in her maid outfit, brewing tea as usual; Koizumi was losing yet another strange game that he brought in to specifically challenge me; and Nagato was sitting on her chair, reading the latest in what must have surely been the most impressive literature collection accumulated in the history of mankind. Still, there was an odd feeling in the air. One might have attributed it to the lack of our ever over-energetic leader Haruhi being nowhere to be seen, but she had told me she'd be running late so that wasn't the cause of this mood.

This might lead you to your first question: why would she care enough to tell me, her "lowly subordinate" and lowest ranked club member, that she would be running late? Well, that's simple, it's because we've been dating now, for a couple of months actually.

Yeah, I was about as surprised as you are. But while I can't say that it's been an easy time on my sanity or my wallet at some points, I'd also be lying if I said it wasn't one of the best times of my life. I guess that it takes a near tragedy (albeit one that Haruhi herself doesn't actually know the half of) to put things into perspective, though it shouldn't actually be that shocking. Technically, Haruhi and I were each other's first kiss—twice in fact, although the details about the first time still give me a headache . Even so, I guess that for a long time I didn't want to admit that this troublesome and at times even dangerously socially inept girl was someone that I cared about in that way.

It's hard to say just which of us started the relationship, actually. It might have just been a decision that both of us reached at the same time. But when it did happen, it just… fit. I'd say that we've both helped each other mature over the short time we've been together, and I'd like to believe that we're actually doing rather well. Sometimes, I think we might even pass for an average couple—sometimes.

"It's true that you and Suzumiya-san have gotten very close over the last few months, and that things have been going quite well." Koizumi said behind that fox-like grin of his. It could just be me, but he's still way too good at that for my tastes.

"But still," he continued on, his smile somehow not quite as mirthful as before, "you have to be careful."

Don't tell me that she's still making closed spaces over that stupid argument that we had last month? How long can that girl keep a grudge over such little things? Wait, maybe I'd be better off not knowing…

He shook his head and gave a shrug, "No, no, you needn't worry about that. Things have been very peaceful, to tell you the truth. However, the other agents and I have felt strangely… uneasy for a while now. It is as if something tumultuous is going to occur, and occur soon, so be on your guard."

I appreciate the warning, Koizumi, but do you have to keep that plastic smile on, even if the situation is as serious as you say it is? It's a little unnerving.

"I do apologize, but I am concerned for the wellbeing of Suzumiya-san… No, you could say that I am concerned for the wellbeing of the both of you." He said, swinging his arms around for added emphasis. If the stint with The Organization doesn't work out, maybe you should consider being a mime; that way I also wouldn't have to hear you talk.

Still, what Koizumi said had me worried. Even though he's always stuck with that stupid grin on his face, when he comes right out and voices his concerns, it's usually justified.

I turned to the person who could probably give me the answers I needed, even if I weren't always able to understand them. As I glanced towards Nagato, I realized that she had already stopped reading her book.

"Koizumi Itsuki is correct," she said, so simply that I was a little taken aback. I wasn't used to Nagato being so blunt about, well, anything.

"It is not as simple as that, however," she continued, "this is not a disturbance in the powers of Suzumiya Haruhi, which have actually stabilized since the onset of her romantic relationship."

Everything considered, it was actually somewhat humbling that me of all people, a completely normal guy, could have this effect on her. But my mind also filled in the blank; because if this wasn't a problem with Haruhi's powers, then…

What was it?

"Suzumiya Haruhi is currently experiencing what you have previously identified to me as the human emotion of anxiety."

Haruhi was anxious? About what? Shouldn't I have noticed something? When did this all begin?

"This emotional state began precisely 23 days, 18 hours, 33 minutes and 47 seconds and counting prior to the question being posited." Well, Nagato, thanks for not going into nanoseconds or microseconds, but still, something have been amiss with her that long? Why didn't I notice? I should have noticed!

"My guess," Koizumi offered, "is that Suzumiya-san has been going to great lengths to hide her current emotional state from us. I would assume that this might hold true for all three groups, but The Organization has only recently become aware of this during the past few days. We have been considering what to do with the situation, but no ideas are forthcoming."

… Koizumi, that does not help to alleviate my anxiety about this situation!

I turned to the last present member in the club room, who was doing her best to avoid eye contact with me. Not that it mattered; even if I could somehow bring myself to be enough of a monster to force information out of Asahina-san, all I would probably get among the sobs would be an endless string of "classified information", a phrase that I've really heard more than enough of. Besides, I didn't blame her, or rather, I didn't blame this iteration of her; Asahina-san (big) however, I wasn't so sure about…

Just then the door swung open, and the illustrious Chief walked in and made her way over to the computer. Just by looking at her I could tell that something weighty was on her mind. Could Koizumi's premonition be coming to pass this quickly? What could it be this time? More harebrained movie schemes, more signups for sports that none of us have ever played before? I wanted to believe that that was the case, because frankly, that would be simple, but something told me that this would be far more serious.

Whatever it was, she got right to the point; this was Haruhi we are talking about after all. "Everyone but Kyon is dismissed for the day," she quickly spat out, sitting down so that her face was obscured by the monitor on the desk. Without complaint, Koizumi and I got up so that Asahina-san could change. But out in the hallway there was nothing but an awkward silence as we mused over the developing situation.

The door opened and Nagato walked out, pausing for a moment to look back at me. Despite how well I've learned to read her over the months, I couldn't quite tell what she was thinking right now. I wasn't able to dwell on it though, as Asahina-san soon exited.

With tears nearly welling up in her puppy dog eyes, she stood up on her tiptoes and whispered in my ear, "Kyon-kun, I'm so sorry…" And with that she ran out, before I could even register what she had said. You know, the reactions of my friends to this situation were doing very little to reassure me about what was going to happen in the next few moments. Finally I took a deep breath, went back in, and, closing the clubroom door behind me sat down.

The silence dragged on for what seemed like years. I was beginning to think that the endless summer that Haruhi put us through wasn't nearly as long when I was roused out of my thoughts by the sound of the only other occupied chair in the clubroom being evacuated. Haruhi got up, moving towards the open window.

No, she wouldn't!

Okay self, calm down, she's just getting some fresh air, I think that even if I failed to notice her emotional state that I'd be able to pick up that my girlfriend is suicidal, mostly because I don't want to think of what kind of boyfriend I'd be if I didn't notice.

"Kyon, the website needs updating."

The sudden statement from her, with her back still turned to me, caught me off guard. Although maybe this meant that things aren't as bad as everyone thought. After all, how off can Haruhi be if she was still treating me like a lackey?

I sat down at the computer, while she kept on gazing out over the courtyard. Part of me wondered what she was staring at, while another part of me chastised that other part for being such a bubble-headed idiot. Still, I had to do something, because the silence was starting to drive me up the wall again. At least updating the website kept my hands busy, although that wasn't bound to last long either.

"Kyon."

The nickname jolted me back to the present. Her back was still turned, but at least she was starting to talk, right?

"How long have we been going out?" Is that what she wanted to ask me? Her tone was so… neutral—none of the energy, none of the passion; hell, I would have even taken anger. But even her next statement, ("Answer, or it'll be a punishment.") fell flat.

Well, I'd guess it had been about four months. I guess that after so long, with both of us kind of avoiding the issue, that it took Nagato's sudden illness for us to realize that maybe there was something there. Then the rest sort of fell into place.

"So that's how you feel about it… it's been that long, hmm?" was the glib reply. Did this girl enjoy torturing me? Wait, don't answer that question, but still, this was becoming overwhelming. "Well, it's been… interesting."

Haruhi, what are you doing? What are you thinking? I wouldn't be surprised at this point if I turned around to see you smiling vacantly with a knife in your hand like you'd been taking first class instructions from Asakura Ryoko herself._ "I'll kill you and see how I react!" _No, even at your most off the wall, that's not something that you'd do, right?

"I guess, what I'm trying to get out is, you've helped me do the impossible."

The impossible? What does she mean? Has she figured it out? If so, then why haven't I sprouted three heads, or the world started spinning backwards?

"Idiot. I mean… you made everything seem different. You know… not so… boring."

Now that was something I was not expecting. Haruhi was always open, yes, but this was too much. Where was she going with this?

"The truth is, Kyon. That I really like being with you. I like it a lot. Well, probably more than that."

I won't lie. I'm the type that you'd often characterized as getting lost in the plot. It's just not my style to pay so much attention to things that I go gray before I graduate high school. After all, with all the antics that Haruhi causes are contributing enough to that. But I couldn't have imagined what she said next, even though it should have been as obvious as a huge truck barrelling down the road.

"I love you Kyon, but I can't be with you anymore."

At this paralyzing contradiction, my mind went blank.

How could two statements be fused so nonchalantly? I didn't know if Haruhi was subconsciously preventing me from speaking, or if it was good old-fashioned shock that kept my mouth shut, but I couldn't rebut any of what she said next.

"I know how that must have sounded, Kyon," she said. Her voice still flat, but it was obvious that she was fighting to keep it that way, "But for a while now there's been a feeling I can't ignore. Being with you is great, but at the same time … it reminds me of someone I had almost forgotten about. He—I mean— I guess, you could call him my first love."

First love? Who was it? Give me directions and dueling pistols and I can solve this problem within the night, because surely I don't deserve this! My mind started racing; who else could there really be? I mean, it wasn't Koizumi, that's for sure, and I think she'd rather become a celibate monk for the rest of her life than date any of the other people in our class. Besides, if she loved me, then that meant that I was an important part of her life, right? Was I still too cynical? Too normal? No, that couldn't be it, not after what she just said!

"It's silly, because I met him while I was still a kid." She let out a half-hearted laugh. "I don't even know his name, and we only saw each other for one night."

Wait, why was this starting to sound maddeningly, distressingly familiar to me?

"And this whole time I've been with you it's been reminding me more and more of him. And even though he might even be dead or long gone by now, I would never forgive myself if I didn't try my best to find him and tell him how I feel."

At this point Haruhi walked past me, towards the clubroom door, and when she finally turned around I was shocked. That million-watt smile looked like someone had smashed half the blubs out of it, and even though it was subtle, there were definitely tears escaping those beautiful eyes.

"I know that you probably don't want to hang around with the girl that broke your heart, so in this rare move on behalf of your chief, if you resign, I'll accept it. The decision is yours though; I won't force you to do anything either way."

Without saying another word, she turned around and walked out, leaving me in my stupor. The last thing I remembered was hearing her footsteps outside the door, getting quicker as they echoed through the hallway.

By the time I came around again, the sun had set. My eyes hurt, though I didn't remember crying. Haruhi you stupid girl, even if you just broke my heart. I…

The events of the past year swirled around in my head. This was a girl that had essentially belittled me, kidnapped me and several other people into joining a club that barely made sense; had nearly destroyed the world over her jealousy of Asahina-san; almost made me, a normally calm person, punch her out (I still have to repay Koizumi for his save on that one); put us through a never-ending summer break; and made my life an unbelievable hassle.

But it was still true.

Haruhi, I love you. How could I stand not seeing you again?

But the thing that hurt the most by far was the realization of what Asahina-san had meant by her apology. I had just lost Haruhi to a man called John Smith.

I lost my first girlfriend, my first love, to myself.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Before I begin, I'd like to thank the people that reviewed the first version of this fiction, and especially Arty Esbee d'Arc, who has also become my beta in this endeavour.

Well, this is the heavily revised first chapter of what will now (hopefully) be an ongoing and fully fleshed out story. You can hopefully expect a lot of interesting events, some surprises, maybe even some laughs here and there? At any rate, I hope that anyone that reads this enjoys it at least a little. I had considered just editing the first story, but decided that this fresh start would be better. I can't promise a comprehensive update schedule, but I can say that I'll try not to let it go too long without updates.

Any and all reviews are encouraged. Comprehensive ones, short ones, just saying whether you enjoyed it, whether you thought it was bad, and what you thought was good or could be improved. All reviews are greatly appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Even after being passed out for so long, I was able to get out of the school before they locked it up. Good thing too; I didn't feel like explaining the situation to an irate or nosy janitor, and it wasn't like I could make heads or tails of what had just happened anyway. Haruhi was in love with me; but she was in love with John Smith—who is me—more. Of course she didn't know it was me, so being with me must have reminded her of what John Smith was like …

Needless to say, I never wanted to time travel ever again.

As I walked down the hill though, I had to wonder about the heartache that Haruhi would have to endure. I mean, sure, I was alone now, being officially dumped, but she was chasing after someone who didn't even really exist in the strictest sense of the term. Worse yet, there was absolutely nothing I can do about it without risking the universe itself.

Nothing is ever simple with you, is it, Haruhi?

It was when I got to my bike that I actually had enough presence of mind to see if anyone had tried calling me. There were three calls from my parents, one call from Koizumi, and one call from Asahina-san. When I phoned back my parents, my mom was both relieved and furious that I would go so long without calling. I couldn't really explain to her that I had been struck dumb from heartbreak, so I just made up an excuse about being too busy and told her that I'd be home soon. I then contemplated contacting the other three brigade members, but knowing what the conversations would be like made me hesitate.

Would Koizumi be asking me to run damage control yet again, or would he be complaining about the no doubt limitless amount of closed space that just popped up?

Would Asahina-san tell me that another trip into the past was needed to fix something, or that the future was now going haywire?

Would Nagato … actually, Nagato probably wouldn't do anything. She hadn't even tried to contact me, which wasn't surprising. Her boss has her strictly on a "non-interference" directive, so she can't really do anything. Despite that, though, she'll want to talk to me. I just didn't have any idea of what she might say, or if I'd even understand half of it.

At this point it really didn't matter. Haruhi could throw the file called "The world" into the Recycle Bin and start from scratch, and I don't know if I'd care. Reality can warp until it snaps, but right now I needed some time alone, my position as oddity errand boy be damned.

* * *

When I got home my parents were waiting for me in the living room. Before my father could start in on one of those "responsibility" speeches that I was often on the receiving end of though, my mother actually cut him off. Even though I was trying to be neutral, I think that she knew that something had happened, I guess I owe my own insightful nature to her. Did that mean that I got my love of the supernatural from my dad? I guess he was the first person to give me a book on UFOs. Anyways, they had left my portion of the dinner for me to warm up, but I didn't really feel like eating anything anytime soon.

I went up to my room and found my sister playing on the bed with Shamisen. I fully expected her to beg me to play with her a little before she went to bed, but when she looked at me she simply silently grabbed the calico and left the room. Maybe it wasn't just insightfulness; was my sorry state really that obviously written onto my face?

Well, whatever, I couldn't care less about how I must have looked at this though it still early in the evening, I decided to turn in for the night. I didn't know if I wanted to have a repeat of waking up in the grayscale world of a "Closed Space" with Haruhi beside me though. If that actually happened now, I don't even know what I would do or say, to be honest, and that's what scared me a little. We all know that what Haruhi wants, Haruhi gets, but if she asks for John Smith and instead gets me, then it's going to take a lot more than a simple kiss to rectify the situation this time around.

Everyone has always considered me as some anchor, some rock, some person to turn to in the time of crisis. But I'm not the Rock of Gibraltar. I can't hold off every enemy, I can't succeed in every situation. I couldn't do anything but watch in horror as Asahina-san was kidnapped, and I was powerless when Nagato fell ill not once, but twice (well, okay, the second time I made a difference, but only in the nick of time). I'm not cut out to be a leader, especially not of a merry band like this! Even Robin Hood would have flipped his cap if he had to deal with an alien, a time traveler, an esper, and on top of that, a girl who could alter reality on a whim but didn't know it.

As I let my mind wander in an attempt to not think about the events of that afternoon, my cell phone went off. I guess I hadn't remembered to turn off the ringer. I looked at the call display: Koizumi Itsuki. Perfect, just perfect.

Against my better judgment, I flipped the phone open.

"Good evening. I realize that this is probably a bad time for you, but we need to have a talk."

Who is this "we" Koizumi? Is this going to be one of those weirdness PTAs where everyone shows up to air their grievances?

"No, it will be a meeting between you and myself. The other groups do not have any involvement in this, although I am sure that they also want to talk to you for their own personal reasons."

I didn't really have any doubts of that.

"So let me guess, this is about Closed Space or more of those giants rampaging about wrecking everything?"

"No, it is not that. Although there has been quite a few occurrences of Closed Space since Suzumiya-san had that discussion with you, it is nothing that we cannot handle."

Then why are you bothering me right now?

"I simply wish to talk about the current state of things with you. Surely you can understand the need to stay on top of this?"

And surely you can understand that right now I don't need this. If the world can survive through the night, then you can live without answers until tomorrow, Koizumi.

I flipped the phone shut before I could hear any witty rebuttal he might have made, and this time I made sure to turn the ringer off.

* * *

I don't really know how much time I spent sleeping versus staring at the ceiling, because last night they both felt like the same thing. I don't know whether I was relieved, surprised, or disappointed when the sun rose in the morning, indicating that the world was indeed going to move on. How does one go back to normal life (even the kind of normal I was used too) after being the significant other of a person that some have even called God? I guess that I'd have to find that out sooner or later, and the answer wasn't in my bed.

When I trudged up the hill in the morning, it seemed twice as long and twice as steep. It was obvious why—this was the first time that Haruhi and I would see each other since what happened yesterday. She had tried to be strong, but I knew she was more broken up about it than she let on, and Koizumi had mentioned Closed Space, though he has also said it was manageable.

That reminds me, he'll probably track me down today. Talking to him was unavoidable now, but I really didn't want to. I still hadn't even made a decision about whether I was still going to stay in the Brigade or not. I wanted to keep seeing my friends, but at the same time how would Haruhi and I interact? Was this how parents felt around their kids when they filed for divorce? No, that was probably an over exaggeration. After all, we're all the same age: Nagato and perhaps Asahina-san notwithstanding.

"Hey Kyon, how's it going!"

An abrupt slap on my back and that familiar voice indicated that Taniguchi was running about as late as I was. Unlike me, I doubt he had an excuse for wanting to keep out of the classroom, aside from simply not wanting to go to school.

"You and Suzumiya had some alone time yesterday, it seems," he said, wearing that stupid smirk that he _thinks_ the ladies love. "I saw the other three members of her loony bin on their way home without you two. So, I want details!"

Rest assured, Taniguchi, you really didn't. The encounter didn't go at all like you imagined when you picked up that translation of 'Letters to Penthouse'.

"Oh, come on, Kyon! It'll be just between us guys! I promise not to tell anyone else, really! Besides, out of all the guys I've seen with Suzumiya, you're by far the one that's lasted the longest. She must like you a lot, although I will admit I don't know what she sees in you. But you two must have done some juicy stuff by now, so spill it!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. I probably didn't realize it, but I must have been shooting a death glare at the would-be playboy because he actually took a few steps back when he glanced at my face.

"Woah, buddy, don't take it the wrong way… I was just curious."

At that moment, a number of things went through my mind, like how badly I wanted to tell my "buddy" off at the moment, to chew him out for thinking that a woman is nothing but a piece of meat to be used for pleasure. All I managed though, was an exasperated sigh and the pathetic plea of "Just leave me alone, yesterday was not a good day, and I doubt today will be either."

Despite how feeble I thought the request was, it did indeed cause him to pause in place, looking thoughtful. Despite his attitude, I think that even Taniguchi could put two and two together, but frankly I didn't care. I left him there and continued my Sisyphean climb; if he was late, it would be his own fault.

* * *

This would probably be the part where a person would expect me to say something like "I'd give you the details of how the first meeting between us as a broken-up couple went, but it's far too painful to relate." Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but I couldn't really say that at all. When I got to homeroom, Haruhi wasn't in her seat, and it was only after I'd gotten settled in that she came into the classroom. I contemplated turning around to talk to her, but really, it was far too soon.

Throughout the small breaks in between lectures, I started hearing more and more murmurs throughout the classroom, no doubt originating from Tanguchi's seat, about how I was Haruhi's "latest victim". I didn't want sympathy though. What I did want was for people to butt out, but I guess when you're in high school the gossip is all that keeps you going sometimes. I wouldn't really know. I've never been that interested in it, and I've had more than enough to keep me otherwise busy. I couldn't gauge Haruhi's reaction, as she never even attempted to talk to me. This was a detail that no one else might have noticed, but I think that Haruhi left the classroom even quicker than usual, if that's even possible. Maybe she just wants to get away from me, but to everyone else she's the exact same eccentric girl she was yesterday and everyday before that.

It was only about 10 minutes into lunch when I noticed one of the girls talking to someone outside the door and nodding her head. When Koizumi's ever smiling countenance peered in from the hallway, I was actually shocked that it had taken him so long to arrive: I knew that he still wanted to talk to me, and probably give me a snide little lecture about how rude it is to hang up on people in the middle of the night as well. Seeing as how we were actually both face to face now, I guess this was unavoidable, so with a grimace I made my way over to him after he gestured for my presence.

"If you want to talk to me, then the least you can do is buy me a drink, Koizumi."

"If that will make you more amenable to the conversation, then I have no issues with doing so. You should know that it was quite… inconvenient of you to hang up last night, especially when for all any of us knew the world might have come to a near end once more."

Trust me, Koizumi, if that would have happened then you might not want to know what I might have done, because I barely know the answer to that myself.

"Is that so?" the esper feigned curiosity towards my noncommittal statement. "Well then I would like to believe that it was very lucky that a situation like that did not occur. Nonetheless, there is still much to discuss, so please have a seat."

As I sat, perhaps at the same table where we had our first conversation, and mulled over the juice (too hot out for coffee) the vice-brigade chief began his spiel.

"Although it surely is not a surprise to you, there have been numerous occurrences of Closed Space within the last 24 hours or so, although as I mentioned last night, nothing that cannot be managed."

Okay, then let me repeat what I said last night: "Why should I care then?"

"You should care because it is not simply a matter of Closed Space in this case. You and Suzumiya-san shared a connection that grew and matured over time into the relationship that the both of you shared until this point."

The last part of the sentence made me cringe despite myself.

"So we at The Organization want to take steps to ensure that the both of you are alright from this."

That sounds all well and good, Koizumi, but why don't you just call it like it is: you have us both on a suicide watch, is that it?

"You both are being monitored, but I assure you it is for nothing so morose. I personally know you both to be mature enough to handle this. What I come to ask you about is some personal reassurance."

I really don't like where you're going with this, but I owe you for everything you've done, so I'll hear you out.

"That is all I ask. I realize that you must be aware of Haruhi's intentions."

How could I forget? "To find John Smith."

"Indeed, and you know just as surely that this can never happen, at least not with your involvement. The results could be utterly disastrous if she learned the truth."

Great, so what you're telling me is to stand by while the woman I love searches fruitlessly for a man that despite being essentially me, she'll never find, and so she'll spend the rest of her life heartbroken and always wondering about him. That's really a great favour to ask.

"I understand that it will be difficult, but perhaps Suzumiya-san will eventually learn to live with the fact that she will never find John Smith. She may even want to rekindle her relationship with you and—"

"Okay, Koizumi, you just ran out of leeway."

It's one thing to ask me not to interfere, but to lie to her, not about her powers, but about a person she loves? I will not do that, Koizumi.

"You and I both know that Haruhi isn't the type of person to give up, and even if she wants to get back with me, what would I be but a painful reminder of what she can't find."

That and I'm not going to live with the guilt of withholding the information from her. That would drive me over the brink. So you can just file that idea back from wherever you pulled it out of.

At that point I stood up and had started to walk away when his voice stopped me. It was the tone that did it; I'd never heard Koizumi talk like that before this point, and if I never do again it will be far too soon for my tastes, but in a totally deadpan manner he simply stated: "You know that I cannot guarantee the safety of either of you, then."

I turned back to face him, in disbelief of what I had heard. The look on his face was dead serious, the plastered smile scrubbed off as if it were a special occasion. He had meant every word, and that's what pissed me off the most.

"I cannot assume responsibility if you would endanger Suzumiya-san or reveal the truth to her, I thought that you of all people would understand that. If you refuse to renew the relationship should the opportunity arise, then are you not just as much at fault as I would be?"

Before either of us really knew what was going on, I had him by the collar and we were face to face. Any other day, I might have mused about how this time I was the one violating his personal space, but this time I was as dead serious as he was. It was a good thing that the courtyard was almost conspicuously empty.

I know that smile is plastered on for the sake of your mission, Koizumi, so I never thought of you as really being two-faced. Don't give me a reason to start doing so. You once told me, in a situation nearly as bad as this, that if the chips were down you were with the SOS Brigade. Or was that just a convenient lie? No, I don't think it was, even despite everything I can still read you a little better than that.

So, why change your mind? Are you too afraid all of a sudden of what might happen to your rank? Of what might happen to you?

"You seem to be forgetting that in this case you're not asking me to choose between The Organization and the SOS Brigade. You're asking me to choose between Suzumiya-san and you."

That comment gave me slight pause. As miserable as it made me, he was correct. Would the brigade be able to survive through this? It was something I hadn't given much thought to. But there was one think I knew for certain.

"I'll give you your answer, Koizumi. You choose her. I'll walk down whatever path to Underworld I need to, but one thing I won't do is lie to her, not about this. But let me make one thing clear. Let nothing happen to her, _nothing_. Because if something does happen to her, I will tear Tartarus down brick by brick, walk through Hades, beat Charon out of his own boat and return to Earth to set things right."

"If that is how you honestly feel, Kyon, then I will try my best. I cannot do anything more than that."

You do that, because if I find out, Koizumi, that something has happened and that you have done anything besides trying to protect Haruhi with every ounce of your being, then you don't even want to know what I will do to you.

As I let go of his collar we kept staring each other down, but I noticed that for once, his body had slipped just a little, as a scant few beads of sweat rolled down his face. As I turned around this time, it was my turn for a parting remark.

Just remember Koizumi, I'm "100% normal"; it's not your job to look after me. You make sure that you look after her though, for everyone's sake.

I walked out of the courtyard, feeling much more vindicated than I had in quite some time, but I couldn't help but notice that the day was only half over, and things had already gone to Hell.

But it couldn't get any worse, right?

* * *

**Authors Notes:** The second part appears at last. I'm sorry for the large delay, but this is all fairly new to me. Hopefully the wait will have been worth it to anyone who reads this. Once again I must thank Arty Esbee d'Arc for her continued betaing, without which the story would be nowhere near as coherent or good. Once again, all reviews, positive or negative, are encouraged and greatly appreciated. Hopefully the next chapter can come a little faster, but I'll always favour quality over speed, so I hope that doesn't turn anyone off.

Oh, and since I forgot to do this the first chapter: **I, of course, do not own any of the characters of the Haruhi universe, please don't sue me (strangely flattering as it would be).**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

You know how when you watch a show or read a story, you always chastise the character that says something like, "Well, at least it can't get any worse, right?" Well, let me tell you, give the poor guy or girl a break, because it's really just a desperate wish that things will get better, not a feeling that it has to do so.

Of course, as always when Haruhi Suzumiya was involved, life was much stranger than fiction, even as it adhered to all its rules …

"KYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!"

Including that tired cliché. Well, at least she's talking to me again.

I barely had time to finish that thought though before the enraged face of local cosmic powerhouse Haruhi Suzumiya appeared an inch away from my face. Of course, after knowing her for so long, I had gotten somewhat more used to her face being this close, but not when she was giving off the "I want to kill you and perhaps wear you as a pretty suit" vibe.

Needless to say, the hallway, which was previously full of the chatter and bustling of our fellow students, was first silent, then empty. "Better to be out of the blast radius!" is what they probably thought, not that I can blame them.

"You've got five seconds to explain just what the Hell you were doing back there before I personally find you guilty of treason and execute your death penalty myself!"

If she was at all torn up about being so close to me, Haruhi was doing a fantastic job of not showing it; she seemed genuinely and absolutely angry. The verbal barrage even had my brain addled, so it was without an ounce of irony that I asked:

"Care to let me know what exactly you're talking about?"

Okay, now I'd love to say I had an excuse due to the events of the last couple of days, but even in my current mindset, I should have realized how utterly idiotic a question that was. The next thing I knew, she was dragging me by the collar into the clubroom.

Wait, had I been wandering here without really thinking about it? Muscle memory is a powerful thing.

Anyway, after I was unceremoniously thrown into a chair, Haruhi slammed the door and locked it shut. I was modestly surprised to see that Nagato wasn't anywhere, but maybe she saw this coming?

"You've got some nerve, Kyon!" Haruhi finally yelled. "I know that breaking up is hard for most people, and even I'm having trouble with this, but to think that you'd go so far as to tear apart the brigade!"

At this point I was still no less confused — in fact, quite the opposite. I must have shown it too, as Haruhi soon realized despite her rage that I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. Rarely one to leave me without elucidation, she quickly took steps to remedy the situation. Unfortunately, the shining example she decided to use was hoisting me up by the collar so that I was standing by my tiptoes.

You know, despite the numerous, numerous times that I've been subjected to this treatment, her bottomless wellspring of strength still takes me by surprise. Damn Haruhi, but you can be strong when you want to be.

"Maybe this will jog your memory, although I guess it's easy to forget when you're not in my position, isn't it?"

Oh, no. Please don't tell me …

"But hey, it was easy enough for you to do this to Koizumi-kun, so why shouldn't you get a taste of your own medicine?"

Haruhi saw our conversation, or at the very least my little outburst. I can safely say that any vindication that I might have felt was now long gone. Had Koizumi known that I'd react the way I would, and that Haruhi was watching? If he did, then I really need to repay that ass for this treat one day. But whatever, I could think about that later. Right now, I had slightly more immediate concerns.

"Listen, Haruhi, I know that it must have looked bad, but believe me when I say that Koizumi had that treatment coming."

Haruhi let out a short _humph_ but I noticed that the grip was starting to loosen a little. Whether she was getting tired or was actually willing to listen was beyond me, but I wasn't going to waste any of that leniency, that's for sure.

"So then, Kyon. You better have a damn good explanation! Koizumi has been an upstanding member of this brigade, whereas you've never risen above the lowest rank!"

Koizumi is certainly an upstanding ass-kisser, I'll give you that. But I think that I've earned a little leeway for some explanation.

"The only reason I was so abrupt with Koizumi is because the topic of conversation turned to you."

At this point Haruhi was looking unsure, and although she still had my collar, my feet were now at least firmly planted on the ground.

Hahi, you have to believe me when I say that I wouldn't have reacted the way I did if he hadn't have made some pretty absurd suggestions regarding you and me. Of course, I couldn't outright tell her everything that he said, and even if I could, I'm not sure I'd want to.

"What could he have said that was so bad?"

Well, Haruhi, whether you want to believe me is up to you, but I think that if he told you what he told me then you'd be a hell of a lot meaner to him than I was. It's only because he's still my friend (even after what happened) that I'm not telling you what he told me.

Well, that and you might destroy the universe, but I didn't say that part obviously.

"I find that hard to believe, Kyon. Besides, why would he care so much? It's not like it's any of his business anyway …"

Whatever he's doing, he's only doing it because he's genuinely concerned about the both of us. But he needs to understand that it's really our business and ours alone; it shouldn't change the way other people interact with either of us. Whether or not we're a couple, I still care about you, and the brigade.

At this point Haruhi had completely let go of me, and although it felt nice to be free again, a part of me had wished I wasn't.

"Well, I can't have you here if all you're going to do is threaten other brigade members, Kyon. I don't want Yuki and especially Mikuru-chan having to deal with that."

"I know I overreacted, and I am really sorry, chief." Damn, I wasn't planning on that sounding as cheesy as it came out. "But with all due respect, if I didn't have the brigade, then what would I do with myself?"

"Idiot, what are you trying to say?"

Even though there was a small edge to the tone of the question, I would see that Haruhi's face was hopeful.

"I'm saying that I want to stay. I want to stay with my friends: Nagato, Asahina-san, even Koizumi at his most annoying. And… especially you. Girlfriend or not, you're still my friend, Haruhi."

I could tell that Haruhi was torn between wanting to know the details of what caused me to fly off the handle, but also knowing that I had made my decision, and that I wasn't leaving.

"I'll be watching you closely, Kyon. If there's any more outbursts like that, then like it or not, you're out of here. Or I'll make up a punishment so bad that you wish I only made your wallet cry!"

Ominous words indeed.

"But," she continued, "if you are set on staying here, then I guess that you've become a valuable enough grunt that I'll allow it."

She smiled the first genuinely sunny smile that I'd seen since yesterday. It wasn't long though before she looked at her watch and decided that she still had a myriad of things to do before lunch was over. Before I could really say anything or even manage a thank you, she was gone, leaving me sitting alone in the clubroom.

Well, at least I'm not quite as miserable as I was yesterday at least.

Looking at my own watch, I could see that there was still a surprisingly long amount of time left before lunch was over. So much for time flying when you're having fun. But given the quality of sleep I had last night, I drifted off in the computer chair before I realized it.

* * *

While I didn't know if I dreamt of anything for the short time I was out, I did know that my return to wakefulness was not a pleasant one, since rather than a soft kiss from a lovely lady or anything of that sort, I was roused back to life by a hard slap on my back. Jeez, had Haruhi decided that she wanted to kick my ass again?

"Not reallys. But considering how loud you were snoring I thought I'd have to hits you that hard to wake you up Kyon-kun!"

That upbeat voice and unique lisp of course cancelled out the possibility of it being anyone other than the energetic Tsuruya-san. When I turned around I saw her with her usual mirthful smile, her long hair that might make even Rapunzel jealous flowing freely as usual as the perfect match for her bubbly personality.

"Well, I came in here looking for Mikuru-chan. But it surprised me when I only found you. Usually Nagato-chi would be heres, right?"

Tsuruya-san was many things, but imperceptive was not one of them. I too was wondering where Nagato was, but I had assumed that she had been avoiding Haruhi's and my big blowout.

"I guess that it's obvious that Mikuru-chan isn't here though. She disappeared at the start of the second period and missed lunch. What a silly girl! She's lucky that she has me to give her whatever she misses in terms of homework."

Even if you are a little too eager to go along with Haruhi sometimes, Asahina-san is lucky to have a friend like you.

"Well, thanksa Kyon-kun! But don't forget that I'm Haruhi-nyan's and your friend too. I suppose that I haven't seen much of ya both in a while though. The last I heard, you two were going steady."

Salt, meet wound.

"I take it from the look on your face that I saids something wrong… Care to tell your sempai what's up?"

I know that I didn't want the world gossipping about the 'fallout' of Haruhi's latest relationship, but Tsuruya-san isn't exactly one to yap about these kinds of things; although she does talk a lot, she can still keep confidence when it's serious.

"Well, Haruhi and I broke up. Just yesterday in fact."

Tsuruya-san put on her very rarely used serious expression, holding her chin and seemingly mulling over the newly acquired factoid in her head.

"Is that so? Is that so, nyoro? That's kinda surprising to me, I always thought that you two would make a great couple. After all, it was pretty obvious that you two had the hots for each other. Well, that and you argued like a married couple too."

… I'm not quite sure what to say to that.

She let out one of her earth-shattering laughs, spending what seemed like a good minute or two bent over before finally getting it under her control, like a ten year old trying to walk a St. Bernard.

"Aha, phew. Sorry Kyon-kun, I'm not laughin' at ya, but you and the rest of the gang just have a way of gettin' to me sometimes. Seriously though, I don't know why you and Haruhi-nyan brokes up, but really, Kyon-kun, don't take it too hard."

"Well, I'm trying not to." But I'm not sure honestly how not to take getting dumped by your first love, whom you think might very well be the love of your life, too hard.

"Well, it's because I have a feeling. You can call me crazy, in fact, sometimes I'm sure people do—" She barely restrained going into another laughing fit at that point. "—but something tells me that this is all goings to work out in the end, and that everything will be fine."

Tsuruya-san, I wish more than anything in the world that you're right. You've always sort of hinted that you know something is up with our little group. So, if you've gotten a case of clairvoyance about this too, then I pray that you hit the mark again. "I just don't know if I have that much faith right now."

"That's alright, Kyon-kun. I'll make sure that I have enough faiths for the both of us."

I couldn't help but smile at that statement, a gesture which Tsuruya-san was happy to return ten-fold. It won't be easy, but still. Maybe there is hope that this mess can be sorted out.

"Consider it a Tsuruya-family guarantee. Oh, and by the way, if you see Mikuru-chan before I do, please tell hers that I have her homework from the classes she missed!"

With that, the ever-energetic girl was off again. After checking my watch and seeing that there was still a solid half hour left to lunch, I decided to try and catch up on sleep again.

* * *

Although not as rude as a giant slap on the back, waking up to the sound of the afternoon bell going off was no less aggravating to me than my previous wake-up call, and this time I didn't even have anyone around to talk about my woes with. I rushed to the classroom as fast as my lethargic feet could carry me, but still got a slight detention for being tardy.

After I sat down though, I felt something that lifted my spirits back up, even if the joy was mixed with apprehension—the sharp end of a mechanical pencil jabbing into my back.

I turned around as stealthily as I could manage to hear the chastisement come, just above a whisper:

"Don't be such an idiot, Kyon! Since you're going to be late to the clubroom thanks to this, I'm going to have to devise a _really_ devious penalty for you this time!"

That playful smirk from her though was worth just about any weird punishment that she could dole out at this point. Maybe things really were turning back to normal. At the very least, this was a step in the right direction.

Class proceeded pretty much as normal, with me barely being able to keep from lapsing into a coma and Okabe giving me dirty looks for being late and yawning too loudly. Well, could I really help it if his classes bored me half to tears? But unlike a certain student sitting behind me, I actually had to make an effort to succeed so, trying my best to stay awake, I buckled down.

As the after-class bell rang, Haruhi tapped me on the shoulder and gave me an indication that she was going to head up to the clubroom ahead of me. Not that it bothered me—at a time like this, both her and I would probably need the brigade more than ever, even if things were going to be more awkward than usual between Koizumi and I for a while.

After a 15 minute detention (though it felt more like 45) with Okabe droning on and on about dedication and making something of yourself (I mean, can't this guy come up with any other speeches?), I was finally free to do whatever I liked. Although there have been plenty of times when I've wanted to go anywhere but the jam-packed little room the SOS Brigade called its home, now wasn't one of them.

But as I was turning the corner to get into the hallway, I heard a door violently swing open. In a flash, Haruhi and Koizumi were walking through it. The Esper and I exchanged glances, but I knew that he wasn't about to bring anything up in front of her.

Haruhi herself though was a different matter.

I saw a mixture of that same rage I saw on her face at lunch, but thankfully this time it was not directed at me. Anger wasn't the only thing there though—there was also confusion, even a bit of panic? If I had to pick one specific thing to call her, I would say she looked exasperated.

"Kyon!" she stammered out, looking back and forth between me and the clubroom as if trying to decide something vitally important. "Listen! I need you to stay in the clubroom until me and Koizumi get back: there's no time to explain right now! Come on, Koizumi, we have to go!"

And before I had even realized what happened the two were gone, and the hallway was silent. Or rather, it would have been were it not for the sound of increasing sobs, ones that sounded all too familiar to me. I quickly stepped through the doorframe, but nothing could have really prepared me for what I saw on the other side of the portal.

Sitting there, in her regular school uniform, was Asahina-san, and she looked like she had been put more though the ringer than I ever had. Her eyes were red from crying, as if she'd been sobbing for hours. When she saw me, she barely managed to get out an absolutely heart wrenching "Kyon-kun…" in between her racking sobs and hiccups. It was enough to tear my heart in two, like it would for anyone with any semblance of humanity.

My first questions were of course the most obvious: "Asahina-san, what's going on? Why are you crying?"

She barely managed to lift her head from her cupped hands, which were soaking wet from how badly she'd been crying. "Oh, Kyon-kun, it's horrible … I … I'm so sorry for all of this," she finally managed. "If I would have known that taking you to the past would have made all of this happen, I would have tried to find another way! Please, please forgive me Kyon-kun!"

Did Asahina-san really feel this guilty about what had happened? Although it's true that she might have known what was going to happen, she was kept in the dark so much that I severely doubt that this was the case. And regardless, things weren't that bad—Asahina-san didn't need to feel so guilty about what happened.

"But I do! It's my fault that you and Suzumiya-san aren't together anymore, and now there's nothing I can do to help either! Why can't I ever do anything?" It wasn't hard to imagine her tearing her own hair out in this condition, although I would have stopped her before she hurt herself. But wait, what did she mean 'And now there's nothing I can do to help'?

"Asahina Mikuru cannot remain on this time plane past the duration of this calendar day."

I was startled despite myself. I should have known that Nagato was in the room—where else would she be? But the statement that came from directly behind me still made me jump with surprise. It was partly due to that reason that it took a moment for the words to settle into place.

Asahina-san … can't be here anymore? Why?

Through her hands, I heard her trembling voice begin to explain the situation. "Earlier this morning, I was summoned to the _classified information_ for a meeting. Once I was there, they told me that the timeline was stabilized enough that my role of observation here was no longer necessary."

No longer necessary? But what about the fact that they can't go back past four years ago?

"They told me that that was no longer a concern, that all that mattered was that the future was safe enough to recall a majority of the agents from their assigned placements in the past. I tried to argue, but I was told that I didn't have a choice in the matter. I was assigned to receive _classified information_ in order to further my placement in the Time Bureau! And they told me that I wouldn't be allowed to remain or even return here until the completion of my training, which could take years!"

It was at this point that she completely broke down, and laid her head on the table while trying to control her tears. I felt my stomach turning; I knew what this could mean for the club.

"Asahina Mikuru delivered the news 10.2 minutes before your arrival, under the guise that she was to immediately transfer schools to a different country." Now where have I heard that before. Needless to say, I wasn't as happy about it this time though.

At that point the person responsible for that other 'transfer' spoke up again—well, as much as Nagato ever speaks up.

"Despite Suzumiya Haruhi's belief that something can be done about this, her rational self accepts that Asahina Mikuru is leaving. Time travel is therefore still functional, rather than discarded to prevent her departure."

While I struggled to catch up with that statement, the petite interface concluded: "Despite Suzumiya Haruhi and Koizumi Itsuki's efforts to the contrary, nothing can be done. Suzumiya Haruhi has already subconsciously classified it as unstoppable."

For once, Nagato, I perfectly understand what you are saying, although every ounce of me wishes I didn't. This must have been why Asahina-san wasn't in some of her morning classes, and why Tsuruya-san was out looking for her.

"I just don't understand how the future can be safe when so many of the people here are being hurt by what I had a part in doing," the crying time traveler lamented.

At this point, my thoughts turned to Asahina-san (big). I knew that she was a manipulator, but I didn't think that even she could be this heartless. Asahina-san may be from the future, but in the years that she's been here, she's made friends. She wasn't just an "extra frame" inserted into this story, even if that was what her future self kept insisting that she be treated like. My blood was boiling hot, but I knew that unless Asahina-san (big) wanted to talk to me, there was no way that I could find her. I was powerless to stop her from making Asahina-san (small) leave here.

"I have to go." With that, Asahina-san got to her feet, although she was none too steady.

"Wait! I doubt that Haruhi would want to come back to the clubroom to find you gone!" In fact, she probably ordered you to stay until she could find a way to keep you here.

"I know, but … it's too painful for me to see what this is doing to her. I'm sorry for being so selfish; please forgive me!"

She ran out of the room, still crying. This marked the second time in as many days that a girl ran down that hallway with tears in her eyes. Except if time had anything to say about it, this would be the last time I would see this specific girl.

I bolted to my feet, knowing I couldn't let it happen again. Once was more than enough for any lifetime, let alone twice in two days. But as I was about to fly out the door, an incredibly solid force pinned me where I stood. I turned around, realizing that Nagato had put her hand on my shoulder, and while she didn't appear to be exerting herself in the slightest, she had stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Please let me go, Nagato, I have to go after her!"

"I cannot."

"Why? There's got to be something I can do, anything! I can't let this happen again, I just can't!"

Nagato looked directly into my eyes, and blinked once, the obsidian orbs glimmering, as though she was somewhat at odds over how to say what came next: "This is Asahina Mikuru's request: that I stop you from pursuing her. She has deemed this way to be the least painful method for her departure. She said she did not want to give anyone, you in particular, what she called 'false hope'."

Those last two words shook me to the core. She was right, if I went after her, what _could_ I do? Argue to her superiors in the future? That wouldn't work, even if I could contain myself if I saw Asahina-san (big) again.

"It was her 'last request'. A request I see fit to honour." With that, the pressure on my shoulder was released. Realizing that it was far too late now, I slumped back into the seat beneath me.

Asahina-san, you chose a bad time to get over your fear of talking to Nagato. But Nagato was right: I was powerless to stop Asahina-san from leaving, and I couldn't force her to stay, even if I somehow had the power. It would have been too cruel of me, even if Haruhi would have wanted it and despite how much I definitely did. The only thing I could think of now was what else could possibly go wrong, and just how far this group could be strained before it broke completely.

"Why does it have to be this way?"

For the second time in two days, I've been powerless to stop the people I care most about from getting hurt. I looked at Nagato, who had returned to her seat. I knew that in the past I had come to rely on her to help me through, but her silence now told me that she had no course of action to suggest, no miracle quick fix to make everything better. If there was a sword to untie this Gordian Knot, then it was in my hands, and my hands alone, to find it. The problem was that I didn't even have the faintest clue where to start.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Well, at this point it must seem like I really love torturing Kyon. But hopefully this hasn't been too over the top for anyone to stomach. A heartfelt thank you once again goes to my awesome beta reader Arty Esbee d'Arc, without whom there would be many, many grammatical foibles and small ticks to annoy the pants off my readers. The next chapter should be interesting, as well as quite a surprise to some of you. I also hopefully will get a chance to go over a little of what hasn't been said so far: the events that took place during my version of the tenth novel. It should at least be touched upon, considering some of the people that Kyon will be talking to and about in the next chapter, so look forward to it!

All reviews, regardless of whether they are praise or criticism, one word or one thousand, are welcomed and encouraged. I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed so far for their support as well. It was only thanks to the people that reviewed the first version of this work back when it was a one shot that I got enough courage to make this into a full fledged story, so I owe you guys a lot for that.

Finally, the disclaimer:** I, of course, do not own any of the characters of the Haruhi universe, please don't sue me (strangely flattering as it would be).**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Although it doesn't really need to be said, the wait for Haruhi and Koizumi to get back to the clubroom was excruciatingly long. They were gone nearly an hour; to do what, I couldn't say, but I knew it wouldn't make a difference. When I finally did hear two sets of footsteps approaching the door, I wondered what I should brace myself for: anger? Sadness? Confusion? Or all of the above?

The door swung open, and as Haruhi looked around the room, I realized the obvious answer: shock. "Where's Mikuru-chan?"

She bent over the table. For a moment, I thought she would slam down her fists, but more than anything she looked weary and beaten-down. This was like a bad science experiment, a test to see if Haruhi's seemingly limitless energy could be effectively drained, and disturbingly, it's working far too well for my tastes.

"I ordered her not to leave! There had to be something, no, there _has_ to be something we can do! Why did you let her go, Kyon?"

Normally that kind of question would have annoyed me, but I couldn't deny this time that it really was my fault. Still, I wasn't going to physically restrain her to keep her here. Not that I wouldn't have done it anyway. Thankfully, Nagato's good sense had been there to stop me; I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I had, and it was obvious that she had to leave, regardless of how she and I felt about it.

Haruhi's face became even more sullen. "But it still isn't fair! They wouldn't even listen to us over at the student council or the academic liaison office! They just kept saying that there was nothing that could be done!"

Koizumi finally spoke up, the expression on his face legitimately serious for a change. "Suzumiya-san, I am sorry that I could not be of more help. But I know from personal experience that once you have to be transferred to another school, whether it is from one part of Japan or internationally, that not much can be done."

I know that you're trying to soften the blow, Koizumi, but I don't think that what you just said helped any.

"Maybe it's not too late! Maybe we can go to Mikuru-chan's apartment and try to see if anything can be done from there!"

"That is not possible," Nagato bluntly stated. I really needed to teach her how to soften her delivery sometime. "Asahina Mikuru's place of residence has already been stripped of all its possessions, according to what she told me in your absence. At this point she is likely outside the city."

More like outside the timeframe.

We all remained silent for what seemed like several lifetimes before I heard a barely audible order: "You're all dismissed for today."

After Haruhi barely whispered out that statement, she made her way over to the computer desk and sat down like she had the weight of the entire world on her shoulders. Understandable; while normally she could bear the burden of heaven with enough ease to make Atlas jealous, I wasn't so sure that she could take even the smallest trial at the moment after this.

Nagato and Koizumi realized it too, with the former closing her book and leaving as if it were simply the end of another ordinary day. Koizumi at least glanced at Haruhi and then myself, but I couldn't read what he was thinking. I'm not sure where we stand anymore after our confrontation, but he has to at least still care about Haruhi, right?

After they left, I found myself alone with the chief—an eerily reminiscent scene from what played out yesterday. I wasn't sure of what to do. I wanted desperately to comfort Haruhi; but, I was also afraid of what might happen.

I mean ... in an ideal universe, this would happen:

Haruhi, seeing me, would say, "You don't have to stay; in fact, I think it would be easier if you left, Kyon."

And I would answer in the obvious way: " Haruhi, you can't take the blame for this. There was nothing that could have been done."

Haruhi, of course, wouldn't be able to accept that. "You're wrong!" she'd yell. "I can't accept that, I won't!" Then, maybe she'd stand, with such force that the chair would slam into the wall below the window, making a dent into the shoddy plaster.

And then I'd lie. I'd tell her that it wasn't anyone's fault (though it was), that it couldn't be (though it could). Maybe with that, she'd break down, and I'd tell her all the things that needed to be said. That life wasn't fair, but she'd get through it. That no matter what, she was still Haruhi, a girl could walk through a wall of fire and come out to the oasis on the other side with a smile.

That it was what I loved about her.

But, unfortunately, life wasn't like that. Or at least, Haruhi and I weren't like that. Maybe when we were together, I could but now? It didn't feel right.

Not when part of her would probably hope that it was John Smith saying it.

Back in reality, Haruhi said, "I meant you too, Kyon."

Rearranging my bag, I turned and headed out the door, but I stopped just before I hit the hallway. No, not yet; not before I said the one thing I could say.

I turned back around. "No matter what happens now, Haruhi ... You did your best. You always do. The fact that it wasn't enough this time ... that doesn't mean anything. It's not your fault, and I'm sorry you have to deal with it."

My heart very nearly exploded to see her give me a small smile. But almost just as quickly as it came, it vanished, as a look of deep concentration set into her eyes.

"Kyon ..."

Before I continue, I want to make one thing clear. Before, I was fantasizing. It could have come straight out of a cheesy shoujo manga, but that was okay. Fantasy worked like that.

So, you could imagine my surprise when Haruhi suddenly burst out of her seat, wrapping those small but incredibly strong arms around me. But, even surprised, my arms reflexively responded, curving in to the places I had come to think of as mine: the small of her back, the crook of her neck, fingers gently weaving through her soft hair.

We stayed like this for a few moments, before Haruhi surprised me all over again, enough to make me let go.

"Kyon, do you want to get back together?"

Wait, wait, _wait_. Okay, now this is where Koizumi pops out with a camera and tells me the last year has been an overly elaborate, massively over-budgeted joke on me, right? I thought that Haruhi was the one with the reality warping powers, not me.

It's only been a day, Haruhi. And we haven't even _not_ seen each other yet, so why this sudden change of heart?

"Ever since yesterday, I've been thinking. Why should I give up what's right in front of me for someone that I might never see again? It doesn't seem like it makes much sense. And now, after this..."

So that was it. She was just that shaken from all that had happened today. It made sense. To Haruhi, the Brigade probably seemed like something that could last forever, and she just had that idea ripped to shreds. She was probably thinking, 'Well, then what'll happen to everyone else?' She was working on desperation, trying to keep everything together, but...

Even so, her offer was so tempting that it was taking every ounce of willpower I had not to just accept it instantly. After all, I _am_ John Smith. So, was there really any harm in it?

No, no! I couldn't think like this! Isn't this exactly what Koizumi had predicted would happen? Was that smug Esper adding premonition to his skill set now?

I had to be extremely careful with what I said next, but one thing was clear.

"Haruhi, I … I don't think I can accept."

I couldn't become her boyfriend again, not now at least. Just uttering that sentence took more effort than the gods' combined attempts to force Amaterasu out of her cave, but I knew that I had no other choice. Like I had told Koizumi earlier, like I had only just said, I couldn't live with myself if I knew that somewhere in her, a small part of Haruhi needed to find John Smith.

Needless to say, Haruhi was somewhat shocked. Not angry, just completely taken aback. I had to continue quickly, before she got the wrong impression.

"Believe me, Haruhi, nearly every ounce of me wants to say yes. But I couldn't live with myself knowing that you stopped pursuing your dream to be with me. That's not who you are."

"But, Kyon…"

"Haruhi, I will always be here for you. Just believe me when I say that."

I thought that I was about to make Haruhi cry, and I didn't really want to see her sobbing for real. I wasn't sure my heart could take that much. But while she looked sad, there was also something about her. A renewed sense of purpose, maybe?

"Kyon. You're right."

Wow, that's something I never thought I'd hear coming from you.

"Idiot." she smirked, and grabbed her bag, but just before she was out the door she paused, and then, firing off the best smile she could have mustered in this situation, bluntly said, "By the way Kyon, thanks."

She was gone before I could ask her what she was thanking me for, but I guess I knew. I'd still be there for her, boyfriend or not. For me, that would have to be good enough.

I realized that I needed to head home before my parents started thinking that this was starting to become a bad habit. But while I walked, I silently wondered to myself what Haruhi must be thinking right now. Probably something along the same lines of what I was, and yet also entirely different. The future of the SOS Brigade, and John Smith; each meant a lot to us, but in entirely different ways. Like how some people see the rabbit in that picture, and some see the duck.

Although I suppose that that's a somewhat juvenile way of putting it, I can't bother to come up with anything better right now. Give me a break, I'm not thinking clearly these days.

* * *

I guess that I hadn't really had time to think about everything that had happened today. I had been too busy running damage control in regards to Haruhi, not that I considered it a burden or anything. It was only after I was back in my own bed that I let the events from today sink in.

I might never see Asahina-san (of any size) ever again.

It was hard to take. I wanted to say a lot of things to Asahina-san (big) and most of them weren't too kind at this point. But even though I did blame her for a lot, there was another person that I could blame for this entire mess: John Smith.

Of course, it meant that I was blaming myself, but at this point it was hard for me to see this as anything but a result of my actions that night. While it's true that I had no idea of everything that would happen as a result, if I had, would I have so easily gone along with the choice? I mean, would it have been easier to just let the younger Haruhi do the thing to the best of her ability by herself? Then she wouldn't be chasing after someone that she could never find, and I wouldn't be forced to watch while she got more and more disillusioned about everything. It might have even spared Asahina-san from having to leave. But unfortunately, there was no changing that now.

Of course, before this point, I hadn't thought much about my secret identity. John Smith was a trump card, in case Nagato's boss ever thought they could get rid of her. But still, I had never considered that those two simple words could come back to haunt me so badly, let alone make Haruhi so miserable.

Maybe I could let Haruhi know something about John Smith. Just enough to keep her going. But any idea that I could come up with was simply too utterly reckless or ridiculous for a sane person to ever consider, and despite what I've been through in the past 48 hours, I'd like to think that I can still think slightly straight (metaphors aside).

Yet, the possibilities kept coming. One of the first things I considered was writing some sort of letter to Haruhi from John Smith, outlining the reasons why he couldn't be with her. But Haruhi wasn't stupid; she would realize that a person doesn't just materialize back into your life because you happen to mention them a couple of times again or start thinking about them. Even Haruhi couldn't overlook the oddity in that situation. Plus, if she found out that John Smith was somehow around, then she really wouldn't stop until she found him.

I also considered, for the briefest of moments, trying to set someone else up as John Smith, but that would take even less time for Haruhi to see through it. Plus, what would happen if Haruhi _didn't_ see through it? I'd be forced to stand by while someone else had a relationship with Haruhi based upon her memories of something I did. It would tear me apart almost as much as having her never find him. I might be selfish for thinking that, but damn it, I'm just a normal guy. I couldn't be that stoic even if Nagato gave me lessons.

You often see in the more comedic tv shows a situation where someone confronts themselves in the mirror. Well, that was what I wanted to do with John Smith at the moment. I wanted to tell him just how badly he had ruined the lives of nearly everyone that I had grown to care about. No doubt that he would be a smart-ass though, and make comments about how I'd be nowhere and no one without him. It probably would have ended with my having to be rushed to the hospital with a broken hand full of glass shards after I punched out the mirror I was having a debate with.

No, if there even was a solution, then I was probably not in a good enough mindset to see it, and staring at the ceiling wasn't going to help. My options were all floating away from me: a brainstorming session with Koizumi was pretty much out of the question, and if I ever even saw Asahina-san (small) again it would be a minor miracle. The only person left was Nagato, and while she was certainly a good listener, and could probably even give some sound advice if I managed to extricate it from the mountains of undecipherable stuff that would come along with it, this was pretty much out of her area of expertise.

So who else?

Suddenly, a name come to mind. Could I? It wasn't really ...

Oh, who cares; I'll try anything now.

* * *

As I boarded the train, I began to wonder what compelled me to make the call I did last night. I was still surprised that the person had accepted my somewhat pathetic plea to help with the current situation. We were set to meet at the café that the SOS brigade used to frequent, although we actually haven't been there for the last couple of months. I guess that for me, it was a good thing, and I'm not just talking about how my wallet got spared (mostly because it didn't). Given the situation, thinking about the last gigantic crisis that almost tore the SOS brigade apart (although Haruhi was admittedly a little more out of the loop on that one) was the last thing that I actually wanted to do, but I couldn't help it.

It had been a couple of months ago, after meeting with the group that I've since personally labelled the Anti-SOS Brigade — at this point, I'd like to remind you that blazing bouts of originality was not my strong suit. The group was surprisingly helmed by my old middle school friend, Sasaki, and made up by a number of people who had earned my deepest hatred: the smiling woman, revealed to me as Tachibana Kyouko; the sneering bastard, who called himself Fujiwara, although I much prefer the title I gave to him; and of course, the near ethereal presence that was Kuyoh Suou, although there was much more to her than I would have ever expected.

It was my encounter with this … 'interesting' group of people that led to one of the more difficult choices of my life, although the one I'm struggling with now takes the cake. I had tried to brush off the encounter — it wasn't like I wanted to associate with three quarters of the people in that group — but then it happened.

_"Fever? You caught a flu? Did you go to the hospital? ... Oh, you didn't? Medicine?"_

I could still remember Haruhi on the phone, her expression getting more and more worried. Nagato was ill. But unlike Haruhi, everyone else in the brigade knew just how serious of a matter her illness really was.

_"Their invasion has started once again. Those intelligent lifeforms existing beyond Earth, unrelated to the Integrated Data Sentient Entity have naturally targeted Nagato, the strongest wall of defense of the SOS Brigade."_

Those words that Koizumi had uttered still sent chills down my entire body. The Canopy Domain had decided to move against Nagato's bosses, and it was cutting them off from Nagato, just like in that bizarre cubist cabin on that snowy mountain. Except this time, we weren't in an area that the rival aliens controlled; we were in the real world, which meant that simply leaving the affected area wasn't going to work again.

We had quickly made our way over to Nagato's apartment complex as quickly as possible, perhaps even faster than that — with the will of Haruhi behind us, I'm sure that the trains ran ahead of schedule and that our legs could have marched us well beyond forty days and nights through a hundred deserts. When we got to the complex and Haruhi tried to use the intercom to get through to Nagato's room, there was no reply. Luckily, or perhaps once again due to divine intervention, someone happened to be leaving the building, so we all managed to get in. We then made our way up to Nagato's floor.

* * *

_"Yuki! We're here, let us in!"_

_Haruhi, you have to be careful, if you make too much of a commotion outside they'll throw us out and then what will we do?_

_"I don't care! No one is throwing me out of this building until I know that Yuki is fine!"_

_For once, that stubbornness of yours couldn't find more approval from me. I just hope it doesn't come to that._

_"No one is answering… Do you suppose that she's fallen asleep? Or that she cannot come to the door?" Koizumi nonchalantly inquired._

_You make it sound as if you're trying to decide what to have for dinner, not whether someone close to you is alright or not. You and I will have some choice words about this later, but it's not important right now._

_"Yuki! Yuki!" Haruhi shouted, this time banging on the door, which then swung open. Had it been unlocked the entire time? Well, this wasn't the right moment to be asking those kinds of questions. We all headed into the barren apartment of the ailing humanoid interface._

_As I expected, nothing had really changed since the last time I was there. The entire place was rather barren, almost static._

* * *

After the fact, I realized that I should have been concerned with making sure that Haruhi didn't find out that I had been in here before, but there were more important things on my mind at the moment.

* * *

_"Yuki! Where are you! Can you hear me, it's Haruhi! We're all here!" Haruhi frantically called out while making her way from room to room. When she got to the door where Asahina-san and I had previously "slept" for three going on four years and opened it, she finally found the objective of her search: Nagato Yuki was there, lying in bed, looking worse than I had ever seen her in my life._

_"Yuki!"_

_Haruhi was by her side in a flash, and it didn't take long for everyone else to follow suit. Nagato barely had enough strength to open her eyes and tilt her head to look at the group of people around her at this point; had she declined even more in that short time since Haruhi called her?_

_If Nagato was about to speak, then she didn't have a chance before Haruhi cut her off._

_"Yuki, don't talk, just save your strength, we're here for you now, and everyone is going to make sure that you'll be back to your old self in no time."_

_Haruhi, if there was any time that I cursed your rabid enthusiasm, then I take it back. I really hope that spirit can get us through this, but I'm not sure it's enough this time._

_"I'm going to stay here with Yuki: Koizumi, you and Mikuru-chan go get some herbal teas, anything that you think can help! Kyon, you need to get to the store and find any medicines you can! Here, take this —" she slipped ten 1000 yen bills into my hand "—get everything that can buy!"_

_Now I knew that Haruhi thought the situation was dire. If she was the one offering to pay for everything, it might as well be the end of the world._

_"Now get going and hurry back as soon as you can. I'll let you in when you get back to the front and call up. Hurry!"_

_Asahina-san and Koizumi quickly got up and left, but something compelled me to stay, if only for one more moment._

_"Haruhi, I know that Nagato doesn't show it much, and that she can't right now. But I'm sure she appreciates what you're doing for her." And yet, part of me just wanted to stop dancing around the subject… why couldn't I just say that she was a good friend? Was it that difficult for me to think of Haruhi that way?_

_It was a rare sight, to see Haruhi Suzumiya flustered even for a moment, but that's exactly what she was after I finished my sincere statement._

_"I—idiot. I'd do the same for anyone else in the brigade. Now get going, Yuki needs that medicine!"_

_I was happy to oblige this time, and moved through the door. But as I moved out into the hallway, I heard another door open as I shut the one to Nagato's apartment._

_As I looked down the hallway, I saw a light coming from a previously closed door. All of a sudden, I remembered with a dreaded clarity: that was the apartment that belonged to a former classmate._

_Who was living in Asakura Ryoko's apartment?_

_I must have looked like Sir Gawain, when he realized that he was facing down a fire breathing dragon with a wooden sword. I was completely frozen in place; I wanted to move, but I couldn't, not until I saw just who, or what, was going to come out that door._

_"Ah, it is good that you are here."_

_The tension relaxed when I saw the familiar but mysterious figure of Kimidori Emiri-san in front of me. Now that I was a little more clear minded I could see that Kimidori-san was also in distress, although not nearly so much as Nagato was. Her face was slightly flushed, and she was a little unsteady on her feet._

_"All the interfaces in this area are under duress. But as you have no doubt discovered, Nagato-san is under a great deal more distress than anyone else."_

_"But why is that? can't she fight this off like you and the other interfaces?"_

_"She could have, had she not placed the limitations on her abilities."_

_It all came flooding back to me. I hadn't really noticed, so it hadn't been an issue, but Nagato had told me that as part of the decision of her bosses, but also in part due to her own request, that her abilities had been limited, and that a firewall or something like that was preventing her from accessing the highest level of her skills. But now it was this punishment that was threatening to turn into a death sentence. Why doesn't your boss just remove the limiters, Nagato?_

_"None of us are in contact with the Integrated Data Thought Entity at the moment. All effective routes of communication have been severed. There is no way to undo the firewall from the origin point."_

_Damn! "So we just have to sit and watch while Nagato fades away and dies?"_

_"No, but at the moment none of our combined efforts have found a solution to what the Canopy Domain has been doing. And the actual intent of the Domain is also unknown at the moment. Communication between the Data Entity and the Domain have been impossible to achieve to this point."_

_As the green haired interface elaborated on the situation with an almost dissonant calmness, I thought back to the strange girl Kuyoh Suou with her disjointed way of speaking and her ghost-like presence. Could she alone, acting as an avatar for her group, be responsible for all of this? Did she even know what she was doing? Either way, I wanted to get back to Nagato's side to maybe find a solution, but that meant getting some medicine, even if I knew that none of it would be effective._

_"I understand. And although it does not mean a lot at the moment, I believe that if any group can find the solution, it is your group."_

_Kimidori-san gave a small, unsteady bow, and disappeared back into her apartment, and I finally got en route to my destination: the nearest drug store._

_It was a good thing that I've been in this area before, or else I might not have known where the closet drugstore was, but thankfully, I knew that one was relatively close to Nagato's apartment. As I dashed through the aisles grabbing whatever medicine I thought would be appropriate, a voice brought my mad dash to a grinding halt._

_"You know that none of those will help, right?"_

_I spun around and saw the face of Tachibana Kyouko, although the smile she had the last time I met her was gone._

_"There's only one way that you can help your friend now, and seeing the kind of person you are, I have no doubt that you want to help."_

_You don't have much leeway with me at the moment. In fact, you don't have any, so you'd better explain yourself or get out of my way._

_"Don't judge me by my past actions. I had to do what I had to do, but I took no pleasure in kidnapping Asahina Mikuru; although Fujiwara did enjoy himself a little too much for my liking…"_

_"Get to the point," I growled, pushing past her and grabbing more cold and flu medicine from off the shelf._

_"Alright, fine. You know as well as I do that Sasaki should be the one in charge of those phenomenal powers. Her closed spaces are much better, which is proof of that fact, and given that she's also a much more stable person, it's the only reasonable choice to make."_

_And what does that have to do with me exactly?_

_"I'm sure that by now you've heard almost ad nauseum that you are 'The Chosen of Suzumiya-san' from Koizumi. Well, he's not wrong, and if you choose correctly and play your cards right, you can save Nagato Yuki."_

_Why is what I do that important? How come these things always boil down to me, the guy without a lick of special powers or abilities in any way, shape or form? And even if I'm the chosen of Haruhi, then what does that make a difference in this situation?_

_"Don't you see? If you choose Sasaki, then we can give the power to her, and she can save Nagato Yuki. She can do anything; even make the world, the universe, a better place! Why wouldn't you want that?"_

_She was starting to get manic at this point, but after a moment, she managed to calm herself down._

_"At any rate, you'd better decide quickly. Your friend might not have very much time left at this rate. We'll be waiting in the café where you first saw us all assembled, tomorrow at this time: you have until then to decide."_

_With that she walked out into the street and vanished into the crowds, leaving me with an unbelievable burden. To save Nagato, would I have to turn my back on the SOS Brigade? On Haruhi?_

* * *

The train came to a stop, jarring me out of my trip down memory lane. Here I was heading back to that same café months later, with the predicament no less difficult and the risk no less great. And I could only hope that I would have just as great an epiphany from the conversation this time as I did back then.

As I walked into the café, I saw the person I had come to meet immediately. It was always in her nature to be punctual, and this time was no exception.

"I'm surprised that you actually wanted to see me again, after what you thought I was involved in last time."

Sasaki said, with that usual cordial smile on her face.

Likewise. I'm surprised that you wanted to talk to the guy that cost you your godhood.

"I will admit that it would have been interesting, but it wasn't anything that I myself wanted. Anyways, when you called, you sounded in dire straits. What exactly is the problem, Kyon?"

Oh, nothing big.

I just want to know whether I should risk the world to tell the truth to the girl I love, that's all.

* * *

**Authors Notes: **The mystery of what happened in novel 10 begins to be unravelled, and Kyon turns to an unlikely source for aid, but can he find the answer with Sasaki's help? Anyways, both me and you, the audience, owe a major thanks to Arty Esbee d'Arc for stopping me from turning the first scene into something you'd see from a cheesy afternoon soap opera - er, not that that kind of thing doesn't work, it just really wasn't appropriate here. Once again, reviews of all shapes, sizes and flavours are greatly appreciated.

Look forward to having more of the past revealed in the next chapter, as well as some dubious solutions to the present problems. Things are just getting interesting after all.

Finally, the disclaimer:** I, of course, do not own any of the characters of the Haruhi universe, please don't sue me (strangely flattering as it would be).**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"I just want to know whether I should risk the world to tell the truth to the girl I love, that's all."

Upon hearing these words, Sasaki closed her eyes and stirred the ice cubes around in her drink. I really didn't know how she was going to react, but I was still a little perplexed when I heard a faint chuckle.

"You really do have a penchant for understating the seriousness of a situation, although you always kind of did. Although I hope I never live to see it, part of me wonders just how glib you would be in delivering the news that the world was ending. Knowing you, it'd be about the same level of annoyance that a person has when they drop the toast butter side down."

Hey, I thought the weird metaphors and analogies were my department …

"Sorry Kyon; but it's something that I picked up from hanging around with you after all that time."

Hunh, talk about a lack of equivalent exchange. You picked up my wit (I'm still debating whether this is a good or bad thing) and yet I've got nothing in return. Oh well; figures that I would only be a giver and not a receiver.

A sly smile drew across Sasaki's face at that moment. Did she know something that I didn't? It wouldn't be the first time I suppose. But I could worry about that later, we've danced around the question at hand long enough.

"I couldn't agree more. The problem is that I'm not exactly the best suited to help you in a situation like this. I don't think I need to remind you about my stance on relationships."

It was true: she and Haruhi were on different ends of the relationship spectrum. Haruhi was always quick to dismiss relationships, but looking closely a person could always tell that there was a longing there for something; in Sasaki's case it's quite the opposite: she values her independence and self-sufficiency more than anything. There were times when I tried to convince her that you don't need to give those things up to be in a relationship, but since I'd never been in one myself at that point, I was putting forth a groundless argument that she easily defeated.

"Knowing what you know now, would your argument change, Kyon?"

She cut to the point with a potentially damning question, one I hadn't really thought about. After all, what reason did I have to, I was surprised that either of us had even remembered those conversations, but really, what other answer was there then:

"No. Never."

Absolutely never. I still think that my relationship with Haruhi has been one of the best experiences of my life, even if it does stay well and truly over.

"Well then, what do you really need me for? You seem as resolute as you've ever been."

I would be, Sasaki, if the situation where as simple as that, but you're one of the few people that I can actually talk to now that knows it isn't. I'm not going to even start on the list of reasons why I never want a heart to heart with Koizumi ever again, and Nagato, well . . . Nagato is Nagato. Despite how you feel about all of this, at least you're sort of in the same power bracket that I am: normal person/weirdness magnet.

I realised perhaps a second too late that I might have used the words "weirdness magnet" a little too haphazardly, as the girl across from me stalled like an old engine. It was rare to see Sasaki surprised about anything, but when she was, there was usually a very good reason. Still, she recovered quickly enough, becoming contemplative.

"You know, I've never considered myself a 'weirdness magnet' but I suppose that's because I never really stopped to think about the situation from an outside of person perspective. Is that another attribute I've borrowed from you, I wonder . . . ?"

At this point I gave my usual noncommittal response with a quick shrug of the shoulders. Still, I certainly hope that she wasn't dragged into this through any fault of mine.

"Even if so, Kyon. It's not like it wasn't an interesting experience. Aside from the unpleasantness of the last situation with them, they were a unique group of compatriots to have around - if a little dysfunctional."

If I had to draw a comparison, I'd say that the anti-SOS made our group look like a loyal and elite military unit.

… Okay, maybe I wouldn't go that far.

"You know, Kyon. I've known you a long time, and I know that you only really keep wandering in circles like this when you really don't want to do something,"

Crap, she remembered.

"But, you're the one who asked me here, and you explained the situation bluntly enough; so I wonder. What's holding you back now?"

It was a legitimate question, but for some reason I was still offended by it. I guess that to me, my relationship with Haruhi, and let's face it, the topic of Haruhi in general, are both extremely sensitive topics, more so than they ever have been.

"Understandable. Still, if you want help you're going to have to give me the details sooner or later. It's not a matter of just telling her the 'truth' about something, or else it would be easy. This is something more than that."

Sasaki was right on the mark again, I couldn't help but wonder if she had in fact gained some of Haruhi's otherworldly perceptiveness, or if I was just that familiar and easy to read to her. Still, at this rate all we were doing was catching up on the past, essentially. And while I do think that it's been far too long since Sasaki and I have done so, now is not the time.

"Now now, Kyon. I think I have a simpler solution for why you're doing it in this case, not that I want to be an enabler," she gave a knowing smirk at that point, just for effect I'm sure, "but you're obviously going over the past to try and give an estimate to the future."

Was that the real reason why my mind had been drifting back and forth throughout the time that I have known Haruhi and the rest of the brigade? Searching for an answer, some other path I could have taken? I honestly don't know how Asahina-san (of either variety) or that Sneering Bastard kept track of all of this, because the inclusion of time travel has made my life needlessly complex, although I suppose that if it weren't needlessly complex that it wouldn't be my life, now would it?

"I very much doubt it." Sasaki mused, bringing the glass to her lips.

More and more, though, I found myself thinking back to the direct events - well, as direct as things ever get around here - that brought Haruhi and I together into a relationship, events that came to a head in this coffee shop.

* * *

_I couldn't help but think that all the medicine that I had just bought was a really empty gesture, although perhaps if we were really lucky Haruhi would believe that one of these would cure Nagato, and she would get better. But considering the circumstances, I don't think that a quick fix from her is going to help matters this time. This thing that the other entity is doing, whether it be an attack or a probe or whatever, is a sustained effort; things won't get better until it stops. But what if it doesn't stop, or what if it's too late for Nagato?_

_No, I can't let myself think like that, I won't!_

"…_if you choose correctly and play your cards right, you can save Nagato Yuki."_

_The words Tachibana Kyouko had spoken swirled in my head like blood in the water; how long would it be before the sharks showed up? Whoever said that the most dangerous words were like venom mixed with honey was not far off, I wonder if they said that after being in a situation like this…_

_I rang the doorbell and got an immediate, furious response: "Kyon! Where have you been!" _

_To be fair, she was justifiably angry. This did take way more time than I had expected it to, but I couldn't tell her the truth of the situation, as usual._

"Sorry, it took a while to find the nearest drugstore_. I don't know this area too well."_

_A short silence on the intercom, then the tone that signified the gate unlocking. I guess even if she wanted to punish me, there were more important things on everyone's mind at this point._

_Koizumi greeted me at the door, If he knew what just transpired he was doing an amazingly good job of not letting it on, maybe I underestimated his acting skills in the past. I stepped in and the scent of herbal tea enveloped me, which meant that Asahina-san was doing her job. It added a strange contrast to the mood of the place though: should such a calming aroma really permeate the location of such a stressful situation? It didn't seem right._

_Haruhi practically tore the door to Nagato's room in half when she threw it open: "Get in here with that medicine already, Kyon!" An order with which I was quick to comply._

_After giving Nagato some of the various pills and syrups, Haruhi decided that it would be best if we watched her in shifts. She and I would be on first, while Asahina-san and Koizumi would sleep in the living room using the bedding that I 'miraculously' found (of course little did Haruhi know that Asahina-san and I were already familiar with the sleeping mats, having used them for three years.)_

_The pair departed and Haruhi and I took our places by Nagato's bedside while the other two tried to get some sleep. Nagato was asleep, or at least really looked like it. It had been a trying day, and everyone was spent, but Haruhi still looked at Nagato with determination, and compassion. I think that if Haruhi just knew a little more that she'd be able to help Nagato in a second. That, however, was a dangerous wager in and of itself, and I've never been a good gambler._

_At this point though, it seems I have two choices: either let Haruhi know that she's a semi-divine powerhouse and see where things go from there (not something I'd be particularly excited for) or join the Anti-SOS and give Haruhi's power to Sasaki, who while being self-aware, would probably be able to control herself . . . probably._

"_Hey, why are you so quiet?"_

_Damn your pinpoint clairvoyance Haruhi; now was not the time that I needed you to be butting in, especially since it concerns you and your powers, not to mention my place in the brigade._

"_I just have a lot on my mind. Like Nagato's health for example." Please buy that, please buy that, please buy that - it's even partially the truth!_

_She gave me an analyzing glare. "Liar. There's something else, something more weighty."_

_Double damn your pinpoint clairvoyance. Have you been practicing or something?_

"_Well, I suppose that I've been wondering, just how far we'd go to help each other out." I had to think faster than her, try to come up with something. Not easy, not even possible, maybe, but I had to try._

"_I don't get what you mean, are you saying that this isn't enough for Yuki? That's pretty baseless for you to say, Kyon!"_

"_That's not what I mean. But I've been thinking: what if something happened, something that threatened one or more of us. Like, let's just imagine that the student council president was actually an ogre -"_

"_That's not hard to imagine - isn't he one already?" _

_How can a person whisper so boisterously? "Don't interrupt." _

_She pouted, and I continued, "Anyways, what if he was going to say, eat Koizumi or Asahina-san unless you resigned from the SOS-Brigade?"_

_Haruhi shot me her most impressive "Are you stupid?" face to date at me. "That's a stupid scenario; like that would ever happen!"_

"_Just humour me - the circumstances don't matter. What I'm getting at is, what if you had to leave the brigade to save at least one of them; that's what I'm trying to get across." I really hope that she's still reeling from my admittedly idiotic attempt at an example and doesn't catch on to the deeper meaning._

_What happened next shocked me a little. After looking a little depressed, she grabbed my collar in a flash and while I was sure that she was about to scream right into my face, instead she whispered with all the force that a whisper could possibly have: "Idiot! I wouldn't choose to leave, I'd kick whoever was threatening my friends ass! No one gets away with threatening anyone in the SOS-Brigade while I'm around! I'd give them an infinite death penalty if that happened!"_

_I fell back a little as she let me go, shocked by the abrupt response that I should have seen coming. It was the classic Haruhi answer to that kind of question: "What do you mean I have to choose between A and B? I choose C and you'd better live with it!"_

_But was that an option in this case, even remotely?_

"_Listen Haruhi, it was dumb, and I'm sorry, but I had to ask."_

_She calmed down a little, her face softening even though the fire remained in her eyes. "Well, if you were trying to get me fired up, then you succeeded. I need to stretch my legs though; I can't sit still after that."_

_I'm sure that Nagato will be fine (as fine as she can be in this situation) if you take a short break. "Asahina-san made enough tea for twenty people. Why don't you grab some, refresh yourself, then get back here._

"_Don't do anything stupid, Kyon!" And with that command she got up and made her way out of the room. I didn't really know when she'd be back, but as long as I didn't nod off it would be fine. Still, my eyelids were heavy, and it seemed like I might succumb to sleeps siren call, even in this situation. That is, I would have, had I not noticed out of the corner of my half closed eyes something that instantly snapped me back to alertness:_

_Nagato's eyes were open; she was awake._

_I tried to keep as quiet as possible, since she still didn't look all that great, and I didn't want Haruhi interrupting any conversation we were about to have, still, I almost couldn't contain myself. At least she was still with us._

"_I am functioning, although nearly all major systems have been compromised due to the disconnection from the Integrated Data Thought Entity." she clearly whispered to me, while those eyes ensured that my attention would be focused solely on what she was going to say to me._

"_Judging from your conversation with Suzumiya Haruhi, I have extrapolated that you have been presented with a choice from the rival factions that have come to the conclusion that your friend Sasaki is the true inheritor of the power that Suzumiya Haruhi now holds."_

_She got all that from the conversation? I thought that she probably wasn't asleep, but I should have known that she would be this on the mark, it is Nagato we're talking about after all._

"_Their incentive for you joining them and transferring the power from Suzumiya Haruhi is my wellbeing. Therefore, you must not accept their offer."_

"_Wait, you have to correct me, because I thought you just said not to save you."_

"_That is correct. I am merely one interface among many, I can be replaced, I -"_

_Stop it, Nagato! I won't hear you talk like that! _

_I must have actually yelled it, because at this point she paused and looked at me inquisitively._

"_I'm not about to just sit back and let you die when there's something I can do about it! I don't care if it means that I have to give Haruhi's powers to someone else, or even if I can never see any of you again! You're not just some interface, some random tool to be exploited and then thrown away when you get broken or burdened!"_

"_This may be how you feel; but the same applies to you."_

_I fell silent, stunned by what she had just said._

"_Each member of the brigade, myself included, turns to you not only for support, but also for the quality of friendship. This is especially true of Suzumiya Haruhi."_

_Yeah, I've heard time after time that I'm the "Chosen of Suzumiya-san" the "Chosen of Haruhi" or whatever you want to say, I don't care about that._

"_It is not that attribute to which I refer."_

_Wait, it's not?_

"_You, more than anyone else, have had an effect on the physical and emotional state of Suzumiya Haruhi. It is thanks to you and you alone that she has developed in the way that she has to this point. You are more than her friend; you are her foil, her anchor. Whether or not she is conscious of this, it is the case."_

_This was the point when it finally dawned on me what must have been perfectly obvious to everyone else. Or, rather, I always knew it, but it was the point that I never wanted to admit to myself. That is…_

"_You and Suzumiya Haruhi need each other."_

_That Haruhi and I had come to respect and rely on each other. She may have started off as a brash, almost intolerable spoilt child that saw people as nothing but tools for her own amusement but over the short time that we've been in the SOS Brigade though, she's changed. She takes the feelings of others into account now; she knows that there are limits, and she's displayed genuine compassion for those around her, especially us in the brigade, or should I say, her friends._

"_The Brigade will survive without me. She cannot without you, and you cannot without her."_

_Those words, delivered from Nagato without emotion or emphasis as usual brought my trip down memory lane to a grinding halt. Even though a person might argue against it, I still view the fact that I chose this dimension over the alternate one that Nagato created as killing the alternate versions of the people closest to me. Sometimes I still wake up in cold sweat, seeing that emotional Nagato's pleading face. The choice still haunts me to this day._

"_There has to be a way. Kimidori-san is trying to come up with something, you just need to hold on. And if worse comes to worse, then -"_

"_Consider it my request." Nagato looked at me. I couldn't help but think that this was the closest that she could come to pleading. Damn it, Nagato, any other day I'd be doing flips over your making a request; but to ask this?_

"_Alright." For now, you win. I'll do everything I can, short of choosing the other team. It's the least I can do to try and repay her for all that she's done for me._

_I just hope that trying to return the favour doesn't cost her everything._

_

* * *

_

_That tense conversation sapped me of the will to sleep. The night passed slowly, until finally morning came and Haruhi ordered everyone to head home in order to grab more supplies before meeting back up at Nagato's apartment (before you ask how we would get in again, Haruhi grabbed the apartment key). I wasn't going back home though; I could live with smelling and looking like something that just crawled out of the ditch, but there was something vitally important I had to attend to._

_I went to the café, the same one that the SOS-Brigade so often frequented. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at it the same regardless after the events of the last few days. I'd be just as happy if someplace else broke my wallet from now on, but that was the last thing on my mind at the moment._

_The group was already sitting down before I arrived, with one notable exception: Kuyoh Suou was gone, nowhere to be seen. I didn't really know where she might be, and I didn't care either. What she was doing right now added to her already creepy nature, if I never saw her again, it would be far too soon. _

_The Sneering Bastard and Tachibana looked like they were having an argument, although they both stopped when they saw me walk in. Sasaki just looked like a girl enjoying her day in a café, albeit with some strange friends._

"_So, you've made your decision I take it," Tachibana said with something that wasn't quite a smile on her face. I guessed that she was confident that I'd make 'the right decision', "So, what will it be?"_

_This was the biggest gamble I had ever made, and hopefully would ever make. Lady Luck be with me; whether you look like Asahina-san, Haruhi, or anyone else, just be by my side._

"_I'm staying where I am."_

_It really did seem anticlimactic, but at the time that might have been one of the most important sentences that I have ever uttered in my short existence. I said I had spent the night sleepless, and while part of that was worrying about Nagato, just as much of it I spent thinking about everything that had happened between the Brigade members, how they had promised to stick together, with Koizumi and Nagato even saying that they would choose the SOS Brigade over their own factions if it came down to it. I was sure that Asahina-san felt the same way as well, even if she didn't say anything to the effect. And yeah, I also thought a lot about Haruhi, but right now there were more pressing concerns._

_The three of them had completely different reactions: Sasaki's didn't really change at all; she just held that same intrigued smile that she always seemed to wear these days. Tachibana seemed to be riding a roller coaster from shock to despair on a fairly regular up and down motion, and Fujiwara, well, he just started snickering, which soon turned into outright raucous laughter. I wonder what's so funny to him, although I might not want to know._

"_I knew that you wouldn't choose our side, I guess you don't care enough about that doll of yours after all."_

_My gaze narrowed and I involuntarily clenched my fists. "Don't you dare say that about Nagato, and don't you dare imply that I don't care about her."_

"_Is that so?" he said with the grin starting to border on sadistic glee. "I don't see how you can say that with a straight face, because you've doomed her anyways."_

_I was about ready to jump over the table at this point and turn that grin into a Glasgow smile, but Tachibana, perhaps sensing my intent to kill, stopped me._

"_Fujiwara, please just leave. He's made his choice, and he'll have to live with it regardless, and you're making it worse." She looked at me, not with hatred, but deep disappointment._

"_Whatever, I'm out of here anyways, I knew that this stupid group wouldn't get anything done."_

_Good, leave, because if I ever see you again I'll repay you for everything, and I mean everything, you've ever said and done._

_As he waltzed out, Tachibana started to follow, I heard her say under her breath, "I hope you know what you've just done." _

_I hope that I do too, but at the moment, I can't say for sure, because I have no idea what to do now aside from go to Kimidori-san and hope that she's been able to come up with something. _

_In the meantime, the girl that would have been god, or at least a god analog of sorts, simply remained seated, oddly silent considering all that had just happened. I was about to ask her what was up with her demeanour, but before I could she simply smiled and said, "I'm sure that you're wondering what I must be thinking, but I think that we'll be able to talk about it some other time, hopefully not in another three years."_

_With that, she left, although I was not alone at the table, because my thoughts weighed me down. All I could do now was hope that my choice was the right one. I didn't have long to contemplate it though, as I had to be back at the apartment sooner than later at this point._

_I got up and went onto the street, my mind deep in thought. Perhaps too much so for my own good, because the next thing I knew I was flat on the ground. I thought I had ran into a pole initially, until I looked up and saw a black uniform, surrounded by black hair, and a pair of black eyes (starting to see a trend here) staring at me with as much intensity as someone that looks that detached can manage, which is enough to be creepy._

_Kuyoh Suou stood before me, a carbon copy of a black obalisk that one might see in Egypt. As much as I was creeped out by her, at the moment I was far too angry with what she or her bosses were doing to Nagato to care. But right as I was about to launch into a angry tirade, which upon looking back I'm relatively sure she wouldn't have understood most of it, if any, she interrupted me, the words pouring out like molases._

"__ _"_

_I really don't have time for this right now, but if she's here, then she's here for a reason._

"__ understand."_

_Understand? All I understand is that right now you're hurting one of my friends, and you'd better have a damn good explanation for it._

"_We_ I_ _ do not_"_

_Wait, are you trying to say that you don't understand, understand what? Why you're here, what you're doing? At this point her mouth clamped shut, and she gave a slight nod to the first part of the sentence. Then the girl tried again to form a cohesive thought._

"__ all attempts _ communication _ end in failure."_

_She cocked her head to the side, making her gigantic head of hair wave like an inky ocean. Whatever it was she was trying to get out, she obviously thought it was something important, but if it was, then why was she telling it to me of all people?_

"_You _ interaction _ subject: Nagato Yuki _ subject: Kimidori Emiri _ communication success rate _ 90% +/- deviance."_

_Wait, you can't be saying what I think you're saying… _

"_You mean, this isn't an attack? It's an attempt by your boss to communicate with Nagato and Kimidori's boss?"_

_Another ever so slight nod._

_Oh, brother._

_Add another incident to the long list of disasters that have been caused by one person trying to reach out and touch someone, although in this case it's more an example of a cosmic being beyond comprehension trying to reach out and touch an equally incomprehensible one. But hopefully this time the disaster could be averted._

_Kuyoh, I may think you're creepy, but right now you are almost beautiful enough to kiss._

"__ is kiss _ another _ communication format?"_

_Er, poor choice of words. At any rate, I grabbed her hand, almost afraid that mine would pass right through like she was a ghost, but thankfully that wasn't the case. And with her in tow I double timed it to Nagato's apartment. Looks like Lady Luck took the form of the strange girl behind me, but at least now I had an idea._

_At least now there was hope._

_

* * *

_

Looking back, I still can't believe that we got out of that situation so easily. It was utter chance that Kuyoh was there in the street, although perhaps a more divine force was at work. Sometimes I wonder just how much you can really affect without realizing it, Haruhi.

"I'm surprised you haven't asked me yet."

A voice snapped me back to the present. Sasaki was looking at me intently, waiting for something the sly way that Shamisen often does when he's waiting for his favourite treat. Still, I couldn't help but wonder just what Sasaki meant.

"Has it really slipped your mind again? The answer might even help you reach a solution to your current predicament, yet you really don't realize, even after recollecting the event, just what you're failing to ask?"

Stop goading me already! Between this time and when you didn't seem surprised that I chose Haruhi over you…

At this point the grin widened to an outright smile, it looks like in usual fashion I had stumbled across the answer by complete accident, but nonetheless I was thankful for doing so.

"As long as you admit that, then I'm fine with telling you why." She closed her eyes and seemed to be thinking of just how to say what she was about to share with me, as if it was of vital importance; I certainly hoped that it was, and since Sasaki wasn't one to over exaggerate anything, so my hopes were high.

"I didn't look surprised on that day, because I knew, with almost absolute certainty, that you would choose to continue being with Suzumiya-san. It's just that simple."

Forgive me for being incredulous, but does this mean that you're a time traveler or an esper as well?

She laughed at this point, a boisterous one that surprised me coming from her. I hadn't heard her laugh like that in years. Mind you, I hadn't seen her for years either, but that's besides the point.

"It's nothing magical, Kyon; just good observational skills, and some shared history."

Why do people keep saying things that leave me completely lost these days?

"I'll elaborate. Although I'm sure if you thought about it for a little while that you might have come to the same conclusions that I had, still, an outside observer tends to come to these things more quickly than someone actually in the situation, so I'm not surprised."

She took one more sip of her drink before continuing.

"You see, Kyon. You may have forgotten, or may not consider it important, but do remember that you once shared something in common with Haruhi: a love of the supernatural."

Sasaki was right, but like she said, I didn't really see a point to what, if anything, this meant.

"You don't see a point, yet, but rest assured there is one. You see, even though recent events have conspired to prove me wrong to an extent, do remember that I was one of the main factors in dissuading you from that."

Once again, I kind of don't understand where this is going. Sure, you and I used to have arguments (not very heated ones, just discussions) over the paranormal, and I was always on the losing side of the equation since there was no real proof. In the end, I accepted that embracing such things was at the very least fruitless, if not downright silly.

Sasaki's face took on a more somber expression at this point, as she continued. "Well, you see Kyon. At the time I thought that I was doing you a favour in preparing you for the challenges of the real world, and helping you get over those kinds of notions that most people wouldn't find acceptable. But after you accepted my debunking of the supernatural, something within you slowly but surely changed."

Wait, was she serious? I didn't notice anything that drastic.

"You didn't because to you, you are yourself. It's like when a person loses so much weight or changes so much that friends don't recognize him anymore, but the person himself doesn't think he's changed much at all. You see, while you still believed, you were more open with people, more outgoing, happier. Sure, you still had your wit, but mostly you were just one of those kinds of people that everyone says has his head in the clouds."

I do remember my parents and teachers scolding me about something along those lines, but when they stopped I just thought they had gotten the message, not that I myself had changed.

"I think that even though you didn't realize it, eventually you stopped talking to most people, myself included. Perhaps you stayed away from me because I was the one that changed your worldview, so you just subconsciously started shying away from me; I'll admit, looking back, it wasn't entirely undeserved."

Did the events really happen like that? I didn't think that things progressed in that fashion. But still, it was a long time ago, and if Sasaki was right, then perhaps I didn't even realize things were changing, even though they were. After all, is her theory really so far fetched when you take into consideration the fact I never bothered to get in touch with her for three years?

"You shouldn't feel bad about it though, Kyon. You didn't realize what had happened after all. But even though you didn't see me again for so long, I did see you out with your friends, and that's when all of this dawned on me."

Sasaki's expression took a complete 180 at this point, becoming cheerful again, nearly optimistic.

"You see, Kyon. When you were with everyone in that group, it was the first time I saw you happy, actually happy, in years. Sure, you might have complained while you were with the Brigade, but you were genuinely enjoying yourself after the rocky start. Moreover, when you were with Suzumiya-san was when you were at your happiest, and even though I don't know her nearly as well, I don't think it's out of the question that the same applied to her."

While I will admit that the two of us kind of danced around the subject for longer than most people would have been able to tolerate, I really didn't think it was that obvious that Haruhi and I were starting to mean that much to each other.

"But you were. I think perhaps that you were the anchor that she needed, a way of becoming grounded without having to give up her dreams; likewise, for you she represented the determination and wonderment that you had lost. You see, it was obvious that you would choose her to me, because you two need each other."

Those five simple words struck me deep. A phrase so simple: 'you two need each other'. And yet, it means so much to hear it coming from someone else, for the second time no less, to have validation that you're not just trying to force something to work that had no chance.

"You see, Kyon, I can't help you come to a decision regarding this. But what I can tell you is that while your course of action may change the world, who's to say that it still isn't the right choice to make? I believe that everyone should have a chance to pursue what they believe is the truth, and for you, that truth is being with Suzumiya-san."

I came here looking for help, but Sasaki may have done more than that. She put a lot of stuff into perspective - some of it a little depressing, but all of it was something I think I really needed to hear. Plus, it was more than she owed me, if she even ever owed me anything.

The rest of the meeting really wasn't worth mentioning, Sasaki and I took some time to actually catch up on what had happened in our respective lives during the three years we were out of touch. It was nice to spend something close to a normal afternoon together with a friend, especially because of all that's happened recently. I was a little rejuvenated when I started my walk home. Despite that though, the situation still sat there in my mind, like a fly buzzing around in your room that never lets up: just when you think it's gone somewhere, you hear that buzzing again.

Er, what, that buzzing is actually my cell phone. I flipped up the top and saw the 'incoming text message" alert flashing across my screen. When it loaded though, there was no name, strange. But the message itself was even stranger, and more captivating:

"I can help you solve your dilemma. Come to the park, look for me at the bench where you first learnt about time travellers. I'll be waiting."

That was it - nothing less, nothing more. Dubious, no doubt, but if this was from the person I thought it was from, then it suited her style quite well. Still, how would I react if I saw Asahina-san (big) sitting on that bench? I somehow doubted I might be able to control my emotions at the moment, but I suppose that this was inevitable either way, so I might as well get it over with. Besides, if she can actually give me a solution to all of this, then maybe I can forgive her after all.

The activity in the park was petering out by the time I got there; the meeting with Sasaki had taken more time than I thought, although I didn't mind. The amount of people there was so thin that I could easily see the person sitting on the park bench. Like I had suspected, I had trouble controlling my emotions. From this distance though they obviously didn't notice, and casually waved me over like I was a long time friend.

I have to admit, I never thought I'd see you again, and part of me really wishes that you had kept it that way.

"Now, now. Is that any way to talk to a person that might help solve all your problems?"

The Bastard flashed his trademark sneer.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I'm not dead! Huzzah!...? Anyways, my sincere apologies for the delay between part four and this part. This was a delicate chapter to write for me, since it went deeper still into the events that I am having play out in novel 10 (which, by the way, is not done yet, there's still the climax of that story itself after all...) and delved more of the relationship between Kyon and Sasaki. Also, with school starting up it's been busy for both me and Arty Esbee d'Arc, whose continued and fantastic betaing is still greatly appreciated.

At any rate, I hope that this was worth the wait, and that the next chapter doesn't take me as long to get to you all. In the event that it does take a while though, I hope that it will continue to be worth it for you, the audience. Rest assured that unless I post saying otherwise, that this will never, ever be a dead or abandoned piece of fiction. I've got to see it through to the end, for my sanity, as well as yours.

Reviews and comments are as always, greatly appreciated. If you want me to respond to your review, then please just let me know and I'll be happy to get back to you as soon as I can.

EDIT: I'm reuploading this chapter because for some reason the site isn't recognizing the first copy I uploaded. Sorry for any confusion this causes.

EDIT2: Fixed some minor quibbles that JonBob pointed out. Of course, this also means that the next chapter is ready!

Finally, the disclaimer:** I, of course, do not own any of the characters of the Haruhi universe, please don't sue me (strangely flattering as it would be).**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I know that earlier I said that if I ever saw Asahina-san (Big) again that I might not be able to control my reaction, but I can honestly say I'd rather spend thirty days locked in a house with her in a reality show nightmare than to have encountered this unseemly character again.

"Now, now. What kind of a greeting is that to give to a person who's going to give you the solution to all your problems?"

The words seem to slither out of the smug time traveller's face. I had forgotten that even the way this guy talked managed to piss me off. I guess that it was just another thing to add to the already arm length list of negative traits that he's racked up in my mind.

"Oh, come now. I couldn't have done all that much."

Trying to run over a little kid, kidnapping and holding a grudge against Asahina-san, being a smug bastard, and likening Nagato to a doll - seems like a pretty impressive list to me, and that's barring the point that you just get on my nerves in general.

At this point The Sneering Bastard tried to pout (probably a gesture meant to mock Asahina-san) but it wasn't long before he cracked. He let out a psychotic fit of hysterical cackling that probably would have made Norman Bates and Patrick Bateman run away screaming in terror.

"It's funny you say that, you know," he said, after he finally regained control of himself, "since after all, Kyon-" he practically spat the nickname out, looking a little disgusted with it "- that's a horrible nickname, by the way. I can see why you hate it; but then again you're too much of a pansy to stop people from using it, aren't you?"

At this point I was about ready to walk away.

"Oh come on, don't be like that, laugh a little, it's good for you, you know." Sounds like something that borderline maniac might say, especially one with a smile always plastered on his face, although in this case it was more of a sneer. "Anyways, back to the actual matter at hand. Like I was saying: time; when you really think about it, you've only known me for a handful of hours, and yet you hate me. Maybe the reasons you hate me aren't without basis. But hey, at least I'm honest, which is more than I can say about some of the other time travellers you associated with."

For someone who barely knew me this smug bastard sure knew how to push my buttons. He's done some reprehensible things, but when he insults my friends with that crooked smile he crosses the line. Asahina-san doesn't deserve this kind of slander!

"Oh, she doesn't, does she? Why? Because you know her so well? Because she's a sweet, innocent little girl that wouldn't hurt a fly? Because you're her knight in shining armour? Grow up!"

His outburst shocked me, and I think he even shocked himself a little. He was getting angry, angrier than I was even: it was such a raw, genuine hatred that it took a while to build up. We stared at each other for a moment, while he tried to compose himself - he seemed embarrassed that he failed to control himself, and I'll admit that I would have enjoyed seeing him squirm if his outburst hadn't been so unnerving.

"What has Asahina-san ever done to you anyways?"

At this point he looked me dead in the eye, I could almost see the malice still radiating from him, although he had calmed down a little now. "It's what she will do, what she might do for all I know. Anyways, that's none of your damn business, and hopefully soon enough it won't be any of mine either."

I'm getting really tired of all the time travel double talk, although I'm happy at least that he didn't break down and tell me a long overwrought sob story.

"Like you'd want to hear it anyways. No, like I've been trying to say, I'm here to offer you a solution to your problems." The sneer turned into an arrogant smirk.

That brings me to another very good point: "Why would you, of all people, want to help me?"

"Oh, believe me, it's complicated. And while normally you'd be right, in this case I feel I owe you anyways."

Owe me, why? For what?

The smirk started getting psychotic again, like his emotions were set on repeat. At least if he blew up again I'd be prepared this time.

"Don't you know? It's all off the rails!" He almost jumped off the park bench when he made this exclamation. "I don't know how, I don't know why, but I don't care! All I know is that thanks to you and that eccentric girl that controls way more than she should, that the script got burnt to a crisp!"

So what you're saying is that -

"I don't know what's going to happen next!" In that moment, I think that I saw pure joy betray itself across his face, if only for a fraction of an instant, before it was back to being masked by that near slasher smile. Of course, knowing this guy, I wasn't too sure that the solution to my problem would be anything I'd want. Especially since it no doubt involved one of my all time favourite activities: time travel.

"Well, nothing slips past you, does it?" he deadpanned, sitting back down on the bench.

Even you can't seriously think I'm that gullible. You want to get rid of time travel, since your faction thinks it traps people or whatever. So whatever solution you have, it probably means that you get what you want at the same time.

He shrugged, closing his eyes and spreading his arms wide across the back of the bench. "And so what if it is? The deal is as good for you as it is for me, and for all you know, it might be the best choice anyways. Besides, no one is forcing you to do anything. I couldn't even if I wanted to: the authorities from when I'm from might be incompetent, but they aren't **that** incompetent."

Then why don't you get it over with and just tell me the terms of the deal already?

"Now, now, if I told you, then you definitely wouldn't want to do it."

Gee, that instills so much faith that this isn't a deal with the devil.

"Hey, you have no right to get haughty with me. If your version of Mikuru asked, you'd be doing whatever it was she wanted you to do in a second, without hesitation. You were in her pocket so damn deep that it's amazing that you ever got anything else done."

A couple of days ago that statement would have been meet with a sharp "shut the hell up", but while I don't blame Asahina-san (Small) for any of this, I'm more sure than I've ever been that Asahina-san (Big) was behind her smaller self leaving.

"Still holding out that that naiveté wasn't an act, hmm? Well, whatever lets you sleep at night - or do other things," the Bastard lewdly remarked.

This was a giant waste of time. Whatever your deal is, I'm not taking it. I'd never help further one of your ends anyways, given your track record. So go do whatever it is you do when you're not trying to run over kids or scare kidnap innocent girls.

He heaved a large sigh and got up off the bench. "Whatever, I figured that you wouldn't be too keen on anything I had to say anyways. At least not right now. Still…" At this point he reached under the coat he was wearing. The hell? Was he going to sedate me, or kill me? The park was empty; there wouldn't be a single witness.

My mind didn't get a chance to fixate on the idea of my imminent death for long though, because the last time I checked guns don't look like business cards, even in the future.

"Take this, and if you change your mind, call that number. I won't wait forever though, even if I had the leisure."

He handed the card to me (well, more like he shoved the card into my hand. I looked at the series of numbers that was in no way shape or form a comprehensible phone number, although I guess that it wouldn't.

By the time I looked up, I was alone.

* * *

I would have had a lot to think about on the walk home even if I hadn't have had that detour to the park and that dubious offer dangled in front of my face. Some of what he said disturbed me though. His ranting and rambling about Asahina-san never used to bother me, but just knowing that even as innocent as Asahina-san (Small) was, she still had to act on the underhanded orders of Asahina-san (Big) stirred a deep sense of misgiving in me. The worst part is, I think that Asahina-san (Big) knew that it did: there was no other explanation for why she refused to show herself nowadays.

She must have known that it would come to this.

She must have known that she would have to leave, although she probably didn't (or rather she couldn't have known at the time) that she was the one forcing it. It just wasn't fair. That was the thought that my mind kept defaulting to whenever I thought about the innocent time traveler and her less-than-innocent future counterpart.

Still, no matter what Asahina-san did, in either variant she appeared in, it wasn't enough to ever justify betrayal. There was a solution out there that didn't involve pairing up with the villain, and I had to find it by myself. Thankfully the talk with Sasaki did clarify a little for me, and at the moment I would take anything I could get.

The thing was though, could my selfishness ever justify putting the whole of reality in danger? I loved Haruhi, there was no debating or retracting that. I didn't know if she truly felt the same way about me, but I'd really like to think she did. Still, because of what I did as John Smith Haruhi has that splinter of doubt in her mind, and that splinter would never work itself out until she knew the truth, which presented a whole different set of problems.

The one thing I did know at this point though was that I couldn't leave the situation as it stood. If I do nothing, then I'm a hypocrite that doesn't deserve to have someone like Haruhi, and as much as I wanted to take her offer to get back together (which I'm sure would have delighted Koizumi) there was no way I could live with myself knowing that she would have to give up her dreams; that was part of what attracted me to her after all.

John Smith still remained the key to it all. I think I'm almost beginning to hate that name more than 'Kyon' but the unfortunate fact is that it is still useful if it comes down to it. I just wish that it was a name that didn't mean so much to Haruhi.

* * *

Although I didn't really sleep any better than I had in the last couple of nights, school wasn't going to stop just because I felt like I'd been dodging Mikuru Beams and projectile desks all night, and so I pulled myself out of bed to greet the hill, its wide open face looming as large and imposing as ever. I at least didn't have any interruptions on my uphill trudge this time. Taniguchi hadn't really talked to me since my exasperated parting with him; although I think he might have been avoiding me since the news of Haruhi's and my break-up seemed to have "mysteriously" spread throughout the scholastic cosmos. It was totally unnecessary; it wasn't like I was going to beat him up or anything. Mostly because I was far too lazy, but also because blaming Taniguchi for gossiping is like blaming the storm for bringing rain: it's a fact of nature.

What I wasn't prepared for though was what was waiting for me in my shoe locker once I got to the school. As I grabbed my shoes to get ready for class, a note slipped out and gracelessly fell to the floor. Was my shoe locker a cross with a communication hub or something? I wonder how many members are subscribed to 'Kyon's Shoe Locker Service'. I was probably stalling just to not look at the note though; rarely do these things ever result in a good outcome for me. Still, there was no avoiding it, picking it up, I looked at the mostly blank page:

"Meet me in the clubroom, skip class if you have to. We need to talk - now." The 'now' was underlined three times, in thick, bold strokes.

Even if the short note hadn't been signed "Haruhi", I would have known the writing of my one time girlfriend and brigade leader anywhere. But this handwriting… it looked sloppy, rushed, like she barely managed to get it out. I hoped that it just meant that she was in a hurry, but the ominous feeling building in the back of my mind seemed to dash any hopes of that.

There were only a few minutes before class, but even if this took all day I needed to find out just what was up. Thankfully the halls were nearly empty, with only a couple of stragglers to give me strange looks as I darted through the halls. I never really imagined that I'd ever play hooky **in** the school, but then again I never imagined that I'd be hanging out with aliens, time travellers and espers on a daily basis either.

I entered without knocking; it wasn't like I was going to catch Asahina-san changing, although I'd desperately like to for completely different reasons than 98% of the male student population would. As I stepped in the room Haruhi raised her head above the computer monitor and I was immediately struck by how much conflict and despair was on her face: this was much worse than when she broke up with me, or when Asahina-san left, if that was even possible. What could have possibly happened to make her this depressed again?

"I need to talk to you, Kyon." Haruhi said, her voice downtrodden and almost devoid of any energy. She didn't even look at me. "I wanted to tell you first, since you have the most right to know: I'm disbanding the SOS-Brigade."

It took me a while to piece that all together. Sure, the words were simple enough; each of them made sense in-and-of-themselves, but there was no way in hell the person saying them would ever be saying them in that order; not in a million years. At least not without something like "There's no way in hell!" attached to the start of the sentence, then, okay. But this? No way.

"This isn't a time for your games, Kyon. I'm serious: it's over."

"But why? Just two days ago you were willing to keep going, why the sudden change?"

Haruhi looked off to one side, as if trying to make sure that there was no one else in the room, rather odd, but considering what she said next it made sense:

"I confronted Koizumi over the weekend."

Oh. Crap.

"I just couldn't let what you said go. I tried to dismiss it for a while, but it just kept nagging at me. So I met with him yesterday and demanded that he tell me the truth."

Okay, Kyon. Don't panic. By truth, she couldn't mean the whole truth, or else the world might not even be here right now, or I might be some sort of large waterfowl or something of the like.

"So, he told me that he asked you to get back together with me. And then he starts in on this spiel about he's only doing it out of concern for me, as if my wellbeing was his responsibility!"

It was a good thing that Haruhi's back was turned at this point, because I couldn't help but cringe at the last part of her statement. After all, in a twisted sort of way, her wellbeing was not only _his_ concern, but that of an entire group, or even three entire groups.

"As if that wasn't bad enough. Then he started to say stuff like how he would have preferred if he could have just been honest with me, and that he cared about me more than I knew and crap like that. He started coming on to me like I was some sort of rebound prize for him!"

At this point I wasn't really angry with Koizumi, although a large part of me told me that I should be. Yet, Koizumi had always darted around whether he, _cared_, cared for Haruhi: the alternate universe version of him readily admitted that he had feelings for her, but was that the case here again? I never really thought about it, maybe I didn't want to give it much though either, but that was besides the point right now. I couldn't help but think that the stress of the situation was maybe getting to him, or maybe he did see an opportunity the way that the 49ers each believed they saw gold in every river, only to walk away broken and empty. That still didn't answer the most important question though:

"Why are you disbanding the club?"

"You ask that like you haven't been through what I've been through in the past couple of days. First Mikuru-chan has to go leave, and I haven't been able to get a forwarding address for her or anything, and then Koizumi starts butting in on business that he has no right to, and start talking like a freaky stalker. What do you expect me to do, Kyon? Stand around and wait for you or Yuki to leave or go crazy or something? I don't need it, and I don't want it!"

Haruhi had finally had enough, but I still hadn't expected her to react like this: disbanding the club was such a drastic action to take. While she was ultimately the one in control, I couldn't just stand by and let her make this huge mistake.

"Haruhi, I know that things are bad, and I agree that what Koizumi pulled was low, but he's been through a lot lately, just as much as us really. He just needs to get a grip and then he'll be fine again: after all we've been through he deserves a second chance, and this group does too."

I really had hoped that I could convince her, but judging by the drastic shaking of her head I don't think my words were having the intended effect.

At this point I wanted her to start screaming, arguing, **anything**. I wanted her to tell me what was really bothering her, even if it meant that half the school would hear our shouting match. But all she did was head towards the door, seemingly resolved to not give an inch.

"Do whatever you want, I don't care anymore; just do it without me."

Her cracking voice came from behind the closing door.

* * *

Sitting in stunned silence is something I've been doing far too much of lately, yet I found myself doing it again, for lack of any real solution. Maybe I expected Haruhi to come back, maybe I expected someone else, anyone else, to walk through that door and try to make things better.

I got neither.

All I did get was a head full of questions. I still didn't know what motivated Haruhi to take such a drastic action. I'm sure that if Asakura Ryoko were here that she'd be immensely pleased that "the subject is showing such a dynamic reaction", but since she'd also be pleased if I were a little red stain on a classroom floor, her opinion didn't amount to much in my book.

But I just couldn't take my mind off of it. Haruhi was hurt because of everything that had happened, but it wasn't that simple. She could change things if she wanted to, even if she doesn't know it. Like Nagato said though, she accepted that Asahina-san was leaving, so that wasn't it. She was also the one who broke up with me, so that wasn't it either. Was it because she opened up to us? So when Koizumi and Asahina-san did what they did she felt betrayed? Even if that was the case, I couldn't confirm anything, at least not without talking to Haruhi again; a scenario that I very much doubted Haruhi would be game for at the moment.

After missing the entire morning and waiting until pretty much the last possible minute for Nagato or even Koizumi to show up - which they never did - I decided to go to class. I needed something, anything to get my mind off this.

When I walked into the classroom I was of course immediately chewed out by Okabe and sentenced to another delightful after school morale-building session. I wasn't as concerned about that though, as I was to see that the seat behind mine was empty.

I managed to pick up the fact that Haruhi hadn't been in class all day, which means that after she left me in the club room I have no idea where she's gone, and neither does anyone else in all likelihood. Things were falling apart so quickly I barely had time to catch myself, let alone anyone else. The discussion with Sasaki brought a lot into perspective, but at this point I needed help, genuine help. Too bad the only person to give me any just happened to be the person I'd most like to help to a face full of my fist, it goes without saying that accepting his help would be like inviting the man in the red mask into the ball despite knowing his secret. In other words: damnation.

As my mind wound itself up and down the time passed and soon I found myself staring at the clock as the seconds obediently marched towards the final bell for the day. I wondered how I'd break the news to Nagato, although knowing her, she knew already. Koizumi might have been the same, but still, despite what's happened between us, it'll be hard to break it to him, if only because I know what that might mean for his immediate future as well as The Organizations.

The bell rang, although it barely registered, it's not like I was going to pay much attention to the speech Okabe would bluster through for the next indeterminate amount of time.

"You're lucky today, kid."

I am?

"I have some business to attend to, so the talk will have to wait, although believe me, you will be getting one. But for now I managed to find another teacher to make sure you don't just go to club or back home."

Okabe slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way towards the door. As he slid it open I didn't bother to see just who his replacement was going to be. I frankly didn't care either, maybe I could just get a quick nap without getting lectured for a change.

"He's all yours. Don't let him get off too easy, even if you're just a substitute." I heard Okabe tell whoever met him at the door.

"Oh, don't worry, I'm sure he'll listen to everything I have to say."

At this point I couldn't help but snap my head in the direction of the door. Okabe stepped past the substitute and out into the hall, leaving her behind. She closed the door behind her as I watched, dumbfounded and transfixed, as she made her way to the front of the room.

"Hello Kyon-kun. It's been quite a while." Asahina-san (Big) smiled.

* * *

As the fully grown version of the girl I had seen depart in tears not even a week ago stood before me with an almost audacious confidence I could only look on in shock. I obviously had a lot to say, but that was the problem: there were so many questions surging through my brain that it might have made Nagato's boss envious of my data requisitioning abilities.

"What's the matter, Kyon-kun? No friendly hello for an old friend? I thought you'd be happy to see me again." Asahina-san said in an almost sultry tone. It was hard to put my finger on it, because she _was_ the Asahina-san (Big) that I knew. There was nothing different about her, her face, her mannerisms. And yet, now, I just couldn't look at her the same way.

"I'm hurt, Kyon-kun. To think you of all people would be so untrusting."

Her voice betrayed a bit of hurt, although there was also an undercurrent of patronization to it as well, not a good mix. And yet, didn't I have the right to be untrusting of her, after all she's done, all the plans, the use of her younger self?

"I can understand why you'd think that, Kyon-kun. And I don't think it's very fair either, or, actually, I didn't think it was very fair. But after I learnt the truth, I guess that I just realized something."

I would hope that it was that it was that no one should have to put themselves through that.

Asahina-san's frown deepened a little. "No, in fact, it's the exact opposite. That sometimes you have to sacrifice something precious in order to protect the greater good."

I don't understand, are you saying that you never wanted to be here? That all of this was for nothing but the sake of the future?

She sighed, sitting down on the desk beside me. "Kyon-kun. I will admit that some parts of my time here were enjoyable. But this also wasn't my place. I belong in the future, with my friends, my family. I wasn't allowed to tell you, but I hadn't even completed a season of classes in the academy before I was drafted. I was scared, I didn't understand."

Even though it struck me as being incredibly selfish for me to say this, I still couldn't help myself: "But what about all the people you left behind here? What can they do? The club, Tsuruya, your friends from this era! Are they all just supposed to forget about you?"

"Kyon-kun, please understand!"

There was a tinge of anger, or maybe it was anxiety, in her voice. "I was never meant to stay here, and I made that clear to everyone that I could. Maybe my leaving did hurt people, but as a time traveler, shouldn't I know that time heals all wounds?"

Somehow, looking into her eyes, the words seemed hollow. I didn't know why, but they just did.

"I need to tell you why I'm here though. And I'm afraid that it isn't for the reason you want it to be."

My heart sank. I could have guessed that Asahina-san (Small) wouldn't be coming back, but for her to finally say it just enforced the grim reality of the situation.

"I know that the time traveler who goes by the alias Fujiwara had talked to you recently. I know that he's offered you something. But I'm asking, even begging you: don't take his deal, no matter how tempting it seems!"

At this point I was a little hurt, to think that Asahina-san would even think that I'd take a deal with that man meant that she must not have thought very much of me, in all honesty.

"It's not that, Kyon-kun. It's just that . . . people from this time period sometimes just forget to put the greater good ahead of their own individual pleasures. It's nothing against you, it was just the norm for the period."

My hurt turned to insult, which I'm sure she saw on my face as she averted her gaze to the floor. "I'm sorry, Kyon-kun. But that's just how it is. I came here to tell you because I feel that I owe you something. After all, you were one of the only people who tried to save me from Suzumiya's more objectionable ideas, although you were often as powerless as anyone else."

There was something behind her voice, especially when she said Haruhi's name, that made me squirm a little. Now I knew that when she said that time heals all wounds that she wasn't being honest.

"If you take his deal, then there's nothing else I can do to help you! You'll be judged as a criminal who committed violations against the time stream! And then…"

The fact that she didn't continue after that was less than appealing to me.

"I don't plan on taking the deal."

She lit up when I told her that.

"But, I still have to help Haruhi."

The light dimmed.

"Kyon-kun. I know that you, more than anyone, care about her. But maybe this is what she needs -"

You'd better hold on right there, if you're implying that Haruhi needs to see the world fall down around her. No one needs that.

"You don't understand! Everyone needs to have things not go their way, and Suzumiya is no exception to the rule! She needs to learn that life doesn't always go the way she wants it to, and in accepting that, the world, the universe, will be out of danger! That's why the future has stabilized, because she's beginning to accept that fact."

Even if that's true, it's not worth all the anguish she's experiencing.

"I'm sorry Kyon-kun. But from my perspective, and indeed the perspective of everyone whose future is at stake, it is."

I couldn't believe what she was saying. Even though she was the same Asahina-san (Big) as always, the fact that she was willing to let someone suffer so badly just chaffed me. It was obvious, to my frustration, that I could never convince her otherwise. Is that the future though, were people see fit to use others as tools to get jobs done? If so, that's not a future that I think I want to come to pass.

"It might not be for you, but I'm afraid that's just the way it has to be, Kyon." Asahina-san said with the stern voice of someone who was getting just as frustrated as I was. "I didn't want to part on such . . . bad terms. But it seems like it was destiny. I am sorry, for what it's worth. But you need to think of all the good, rather than all the bad."

Her statement wasn't very convincing, and it sounded more like she was simply reassuring herself with it than trying to reassure me. As I watched her leave, there were more questions than answers: was that really what the innocent girl who I knew was bound to become? Could I really not do anything about it?

Did she really come to hate Haruhi so much?

I frankly didn't know what to expect as I walked down to the club room. Every ounce of me hoped that when I opened the door everyone would be standing there, happily laughing at me while holding a sign that said "Surprise! You're on Candid Camera!" or something. I wouldn't mind being the butt of this joke as long as it meant that it _was_ a joke and nothing more.

When I opened the clubroom door only one of the two people I was expecting to be their was actually in the room, and he wasn't the one I was expecting to find. Koizumi looked at me and greeted me with a smile, well, as much of a smile as he could manage.

"What happened to your face?"

He shrugged as if it was the most mundane thing in the world to have a giant welt on the left side of one's head from nearly cheek to chin: "Ah, I was hoping that it wouldn't be that noticeable -" wow, getting punched in the face has sure made you a bad liar "- but I am surprised that you didn't know however, since this is the result of the discussion that I had with Suzumiya-san over the weekend."

Haruhi had apparently neglected to mention that she hit you in the face, although maybe I should have guessed from the way she told me the news.

"Indeed. Perhaps I should have used more tact in discussing the matter with her."

Or perhaps you should have used your brain before telling me all that stuff, and then deciding not to lie to her when she asked you what happened.

"I still stand by my belief that the situation would be better if you would have accepted Suzumiya-san's request to renew your relationship after Asahina-san's departure. But it is too late now."

More than you know, Koizumi.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Haruhi, well, she's disbanded the club."

Koizumi looked like he was waiting for a punch-line to a bad joke, too bad I didn't have one for him. The worry on his face was very real, as was the guilt.

"I . . . see. It would appear that my emotions finally got the better of me, and now the predicament at hand is that much worse."

A couple days ago I was angry with Koizumi for what he tried to do, but considering what just happened with Asahina-san (Big) at least I can rest assured that Koizumi did what he did out of a twisted but still real sense of concern for Haruhi and to a lesser extent, myself.

"Thank you for thinking that, but my motivations were not purely noble, I'm ashamed to say."

He seemed to be waiting for me to reply, but when I just kept looking at him wondering just what he meant he continued:

"Although I am quite embarrassed to admit this, I have been somewhat . . . jealous of you and Suzumiya-san's relationship. This despite the fact that I knew from day one that I had no chance with her. Still, being part of her inner circle only made things harder from time to time."

Although it didn't really serve as a great excuse, it was understandable. Still, at a time like this I would have thought that you'd have had more sense.

"I would have thought so as well. But apparently I was mistaken."

But then why tell me to get back together with Haruhi? Doesn't that undermine everything that you might have wanted to say?

"This is true, but it is precisely for that reason why I was so insistent. I had feared that without the relationship that you two shared there to stop me, that I might have done something foolish such as this."

Although I wish it hadn't, Koizumi's confession brought to mind the words of Asahina-san (Big), the ones about people from my time being so selfish. And yet, like Sasaki said, wasn't everyone entitled to happiness? Was it so wrong that people want to pursue their dreams?

* * *

I'd love to say that Koizumi and I discussed options on how to patch everything together and came up with a brilliant plan that was sure to succeed, but that would require such a ridiculous amount of deus ex machina that even I couldn't believe it. Instead he pretty much left after making another small apology to me. Whether I accepted or not really didn't matter at the moment, but I suppose that at least my response brought him some peace of mind, which at least made one of us.

This still left everyone with the little problem of one of the dynamic forces of the world seeing everything fall apart in front of her, and possibly deciding that now might be a good time to hit that giant shiny red reset button and try everything again. Even if she didn't though, would she still just go through life being miserable, essentially turning back into the spoilt child I met at the beginning of my first year, except worse? I can accept that.

I just can't.

That night I couldn't sleep yet again, I sat staring out my window, the words of Asahina-san (Big) playing through my head over and over. She tried to stay rational, but at the same time it was like she never even cared about the past. That even after all she went through with us, that it was just some burden to her, some mission to be endured. Thinking about it over and over, to the point where I was getting sick, the only thing I kept gravitating too was:

If she didn't care about the past, then why should I have to care about the future?

Even if time travel was eliminated, then what? Would the present really be so badly affected? I doubt it. And while I did feel bad betraying Asahina-san (Small), wouldn't things work out better for her as well? I mean, if she really never wanted to come to the past, then wouldn't she be happier if time travel was never invented?

Could I really justify dealing with the devil?

With these thoughts heavy on my mind I found myself back at the bench, cell phone in hand, prepared to dial the number on the card. I wasn't agreeing, I just needed more information. That's what I keep telling myself at least.

As I punched in the last few digits of the absurdly long string of numbers the cell phone shrieked with static so loudly I almost dropped it. After about five or ten seconds of assaulting my hearing the noise finally stopped, leaving me wondering just what happened, and just what I'd done.

"So, changed your mind hunh?"

I practically jumped out of my skin as the voice of the Sneering Bastard came from behind me. I'm sure that he delighted in that fact, but I didn't have the inclination to think about it at the moment. Right now I just need more information on exactly what this deal entails.

"Woah, when did I say that if you called back we'd sit down for a nice chit-chat? If you call me, it means you want in on this. So either you do or you don't, you will or you won't, so which is it?"

A time traveller, a person who pretty much literally could have all the time in the world, is putting me on the spot in regards to making a decision, that's rich.

"Rich but necessary. It's not like I don't have other things I'd rather be doing. And getting around without drawing the suspicion of the TIF is hard enough."

TIF? well whatever. I never dreamed I'd be doing this, but then again I never dream that half of what's happened over the past few days would ever happen at all, so I guess I still may add this to the list. But…

"But?"

"I want guarantees that nothing I'm doing will endanger anyone in the present, anyone at all."

"You're asking me this kind of thing now? Well, alright, I suppose, based upon my best guess, that no one from the present will be endangered or otherwise adversely affected by what I have planned, okay?"

No not really, considering that I trust you about as far as I could throw you.

The Bastard looked like he was about to rip his hair out. "Listen to me! I CAN'T change anything, even if I wanted to. If I didn't need your help then I would have just done what I want to do already! You're the key here, and unless you do something incredibly stupid, then no one is going to die, or end up as a fish, or anything like that. So can we JUST GO already?" He was almost manic at this point.

"I also want a guarantee from you, that you won't hurt or pursue Asahina-san's younger self in any way."

A loud groan, "Fine, fine. If this works then I won't know her anyways, airhead or conniving bitch, so it doesn't matter anyways."

Alright, fine, one last thing.

"That is -"

He was cut off as I buried my fist into his abdomen, not hard enough to do any real damage, but enough to knock the wind out of him.

"That's for everything you've ever put my friends through, or said about them. Now we're even enough."

He glared at me from his doubled over position, then smirked, "It's about time that you actually grew some balls. Oh, and by the way, quid pro quo."

Whatever he hit me with, it was nowhere near as pleasant as when Asahina-san (Small) did when she knocked me out for time travelling. I woke up with a headache worse than the one I had after Haruhi forced us to drink all night on the island.

"You wouldn't believe how much I enjoyed that. Mind you, I would have done it even if you hadn't punched me, but hey, justification is always nice I suppose."

As I rose from the dirt, the headache fading with amazing quickness (although still not quick enough) I saw him sitting on the same bench. Holding a rolled-up and crumpled newspaper. I barely managed to react in time to catch it when he casually tossed it at my head. As I took a look at the date my heart sank.

"So, this is what, your third, maybe fourth time visiting this Tanabata? It must get old after a while."

It always comes down to this stupid date. But the 64 million dollar question is: what exactly am I going to do this time?

The slasher smile returned: "Oh, that's simple. You're going to kill John Smith."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** It's been a while. Hopefully not so long that this story isn't still of interest. But with school looming ever large, there's just never enough time in the day anymore. Of course, I wouldn't have that problem if I were a time traveler, but then I suppose that I could just get a completed story from my future self anyways, and what's the fun in that?

Temporal matters aside, I hope that this chapter was worth the wait. It was one of the hardest ones I had to write, and also the one that's undergone the most revision so far I believe. I demand that you heap praise on Arty Esbee d'Arc for preventing me from dumping a version of Mikuru (Big) on your laps that would have probably been so OC that it would have made you double take. Her continued betaing has saved me from yet another blunder.

The next chapter should be very interesting, it's been one of the ones I've been looking forward to writing the most, as well as one of the most interesting. Kyon has some choices to make, but will they be the right ones? Oh, and you can also expect a resolution to the dilemma that presented itself in novel 10, and hopefully some rather compelling moments in the present (or is it the past?) as well. Until next we meet!

Disclaimer:** I, of course, do not own any of the characters of the Haruhi universe, please don't sue me (strangely flattering as it would be).**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Sometimes, on days like this, I wonder just why my life is like a well of weirdness. And for that matter, why every time I fall down it and think I've finally hit bottom, someone (usually Haruhi) pulls out a shovel and starts digging-or rather, tells **me** to start digging.

"I knew that people from your time are a little slow on the uptake, but that stupid look on your face is still really something else."

I looked at my travelling companion with more than a bit of disdain. "Are you serious? You've just told me that in order to fix everything that I'd have to kill myself! How do you expect someone to react to that sort of statement?"

"Damn it, we don't have time for me to explain this, but since you have wax in your ears, it looks like I'm going to have to anyways."

Come to think of it, I did notice that the Sneering Bastard was less smug and more . . . on edge, if I had to pick something. It wasn't a blind panic, but the way he kept moving around, looking everywhere. Was he scared of something? He was acting like we were a couple of wanted criminals.

"That's because we are, you dolt! Just by being here we're committing massive violations of the time laws, never mind what we plan to do!"

That brings me back to a very good point. If you think that I'm going to kill myself, then you're even more out of touch than Asahina-san (small) is with this time (or so you love saying).

His reaction was a mix between a sigh and a low growl. Interesting, although I realized that this wasn't the best time to be thinking about things like how one does both of those vocalizations at once.

"Alright, listen, because after I tell you this we _have_ to move. Even with the modifications to my TPDD, it will only be a matter of minutes before they realize that someone has come to this era unauthorized. Understand?"

At this point my silence was my consent, so after seeing that I had no objections, he continued.

"You're going to kill John Smith. _Not_ you-John Smith."

Well, pardon me if I fail to see the difference. "Isn't the problem that I _am _Smith?"

Fujiwara groaned. "Don't you get it? It's killing in the metaphorical sense! You're going to stop yourself from meeting Haruhi on the school grounds and making those markings, whatever the hell you want to call them. If you don't meet her here, then there is no John Smith! The future will be irreparably changed, same with what you consider the present. Get it?"

Although I hated to admit it, what he had said did make sense. It was 'killing' John Smith while leaving everyone else be. But if it was always that easy, then why didn't you just do it by force?

"Well, first of all, even I'm not desperate enough to kill anyone. I don't think you're very important to the timeline, but who the hell knows: without you, I might not exist either, so whatever. There's less of a risk if you just live differently though. Secondly, this isn't a one man operation; someone has to be here to stop-"

He was cut off as a sound tore through the air, unlike anything I've ever heard. Now his face showed sheer panic.

"No, no! They're here already!"

What's going on?

"The Time Incursion Force is about to arrive already! While you do what you need to do I have to hold them off! But it's too early, there's still too much time left!"

The look on his face told me that I wouldn't enjoy what we had to do next, but that didn't change the fact that it was the only viable option left. So it came as no surprise when he turned to me and practically screamed:

"RUN!"

* * *

It really seemed to me like neither of us really knew just where we were going. We were just going as fast as our legs could carry us, taking as many turns and back alleys as humanly possible. If I ever see the hill again I'll be grateful, because after this it will seem like a luxurious stroll through the hanging gardens of Babylon compared to the manic pace of this chase.

Wait . . . are we even being chased?

"Will you stop wasting breath on pointless narrating and just run you idiot?" my ever pleasant travelling companion chimed in.

"The stakes are pretty high if we're going to this length to get away from pursuers that I can't even see."

"That's because they're not here yet. Up ahead, we can stop in that alley, just for a minute though."

Needless to say, I was a little confused by the amount of effort that we were putting forth to elude pursuers that aren't even here yet.

"You don't get it, do you? Now that the TIF have realized that something has gone wrong-and if it's gone wrong enough to get them here, that means it's gone wrong in a big way-they'll be looking for us everywhere, and believe me, they can. The only thing that is really keeping them from being down our throats at this very moment are the-well, _modifications_ that my TPDD has undergone."

Although he didn't outright say it, his tone told me everything: it was because he had illegal technology from his time that we've even made it this far. That fact doesn't really go a long way to helping my resolve in this situation, not to mention knowing what I have to do.

"Hey, if you can think of anything better, I'd love to hear it. Unless you want to actually kill yourself, in which case you have no right to call me the one who's off the wall, even with all I've done."

As much as I hate to admit it, the Sneering Bastard raised a good point. It looks like this was an all or nothing situation. Still, this just felt wrong. Ever since we arrived here there's been a feeling in the pit of my stomach-no, more than that, like something at the very core of me is objecting to every single second that I'm here. It'd be simple to try and dismiss it as a side effect of the time travel process, but that's not it. But as of this moment . . .

"Do I have an alternative?"

"If I say 'no', will you shut up and just concentrate on moving? And also: just how the hell are you going to convince yourself to not be your precious Mikuru's lapdog for a change?"

Even when you make good points, do you have to make them so annoyingly?

"Don't make that face. If I weren't honest then we'd both be in bigger trouble than we already are. And on that note . . ."

He handed-well, more like thrust-something into my hand. I wasn't sure what to expect when I opened my palm, but a rather dull looking metal sphere was not one of the top-runners. What exactly is this anyways?

"Hopefully you won't need to find out. But don't lose it, since I get the feeling that unfortunately you will."

The worry in his voice, despite him trying to sound smug, was just the latest in a long line of less than reassuring events that happened today.

Maybe I'm asleep. Maybe it's all a dream, and I'll wake up and Haruhi and I will still be together.

"Focus dammit!"

Well, so much for that thought.

"Anyways, that's enough of a break, it's time that we got moving again, and this time, we're not stopping. At least, not of our own volition."

Yeah, it just keeps getting better and better.

* * *

My lungs burned, my legs burned. I was sure that other parts of my body probably hurt too, but I couldn't be bothered to care at the moment. I know that we've only been running for a couple of minutes, but it honestly feels like a couple of hours.

"Do you always complain this much? It's a wonder that anyone can stand you, let alone call you a friend."

Yeah, yeah. You say that but you're wheezing nearly as badly as me. Besides that I'm pretty sure we've either been running in completely random directions, or in circles, maybe both. Completely random circles? I'll worry about just how that works later.

In between all my huffing and wincing though, I managed to ask a question that had been bothering me for a while:

"Just why are you so dead set on doing all of this anyways?"

"You ask me this now, of all times? Why do you even want to know? It's not like you care, it's not like you'll even remember if this works after it hopefully does-which it better, because I don't want to think about what's going to happen to us if it doesn't."

I'd just like to know if you were born this annoying, or if it was a finely cultivated and honed trait. And besides:

"Is time travel really that bad for the future?"

For a while, the only sound in the air was our continuously heavy breathing as we kept running, but when I managed to glance in his direction, I could see that he was debating whether or not to tell me something, anything. I was actually surprised that he was bothering to consider it at all, because in just about any situation but this one, I think his answer would have been to laugh long and hard right in my face.

"Whatever, since it won't matter anyways, I might as well tell you; better than hearing you complain more about where we're going and how much your damn legs hurt."

Although I could have given a smartass reply, the last thing I wanted at this moment was to get into an insult slinging contest with him while running at near full speed, so I just let him have that one and instead waited for him to continue.

"I hate history."

Wait, what?

"I. Hate. History. I could never stand it, not in a textbook, from my age, your age, hell, from any age. I'm sure that if I could go to Athens and argue with Socrates that I'd find it terribly dull and mock the old man for being an idiot."

"The thing is though, that in the future, history isn't just the past. In a way, it's everything. You see, they haven't mastered time travel yet. Getting 100% accurate representations of the future isn't really possible even in my time, and of course there are all those laws. Not that they matter much; so many people disobey them that they might as well be a joke. So, you can meet yourself, and learn what's at least very likely to happen."

The only thing I could really think of as he finished that sprawling thought was "So, what?"

He came to a dead stop so fast that I almost crashed into him, before he turned around.

"So what? So what! Do you know how much of a burden, how much of a _drag_ it is to know how things are going to play out? Imagine that everyday you got a news report that was specific to you, and that no matter what you did, your day would progress exactly like that. I'll say that a lot of your concepts are outdated, but the idea of Hell that you people have sums that up pretty well in my book."

He started running again, probably just to get back at me for making him angry, but he apparently wasn't done yet.

"All that's ever hammered into us from practically the first day we can stand is how our lives are 'so much better' thanks to the 'small sacrifices' that we've made-like, you know, free will and a tomorrow that isn't already written in absolutes. Some people don't take to it very well, as you'd imagine."

"And what, exactly, happens to those people?"

I wasn't really sure that I wanted to see the look on his face, but his tone told me everything I needed to know.

"They all understand eventually, one way or another."

Asahina-san . . .

Just what happened to you then? What _will_ happen to you, between your teary eyed departure from the club room and our time, until you grow up and come back to warn me not to do exactly what I'm doing right now? Is individual happiness really so bad?

"For most people in my time, yes, it is."

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't all of a sudden the Bastard's best friend or anything, and some of the things he's done can never be forgiven, at least in my eyes. But all things considered, I can see why he probably hates his life, and why he probably hates all the things that Asahina-san represents. My selfishness is helping his selfishness along.

Peachy, isn't it?

"So, you see, this is better than the alternatives."

"And you'd know, I suppose."

"Not really. It's none of my business, and I don't really care. But from what I've seen, you're not the most decisive person in the world, and it wasn't like any other solution was going to come and bite you on the ass and beg for you to use it."

He had a point, as much as I hated to admit it. Was I just waiting for something like this to happen? Was I really that used to getting saved by other people? Whether it was Koizumi covering me in the mundane day to day, or Nagato saving me from the extraordinary-even Haruhi has probably unknowingly kept me out of trouble, even if the trouble was usually her fault. Was I just the guy that cleaned up after everyone else had done the important work? I didn't think that the work aptitude test was correct when it said that I'd probably make a great janitor!

. . . Why am I thinking of this now?

Then that unearthly sound pierced my ears again, the noise that seemed like the air itself was ripping around us. Even the Bastard flinched, although we kept running.

No, I guess I knew. I was thinking about it because I didn't want to think of the alternatives.

I didn't want to think about what happened if we got caught.

* * *

This time, no matter how fast we tried to run, the noise didn't let up. I wanted to ask the Sneering Bastard just what was about to happen, but unfortunately I got the answer myself before I could even open my mouth to ask.

I really wish that the universe would stop answering my questions when all the answers are really, really bad news.

These were the thoughts screaming through my head as I was momentarily blinded and brought to a halt by an unbelievably bright white flash. I've never been popular, but I'd imagine that this is what celebrities must feel like, perhaps minus the sense of immanent dread, maybe.

"They're here."

The Bastard decided to begin stating the obvious, as in front of us there was a uniformed individual-I honestly couldn't tell if it was a man or woman, although s/he was a little tall to be the average woman-wearing stuff that I've never seen before. I'd say that it was a get up like those soldiers from that movie that takes place in a galaxy far, far away, but this looked way beyond that in terms of technology. Lights and readouts seemed to be everywhere, and the helmet that covered the face looked both technical and imposing, not a good match.

I didn't have much of a chance to let these observations sink in though, because the figure levelled what looked to be a high tech rifle at the both of us. I was so entranced by the appearance of this time cop that I never even noticed the Bastard draw what, in hindsight, actually looked like a childrens water pistol painted black. When he shot it off though, it was clear that it didn't fire water. The blast of energy that came out of it knocked the our would be captor clean of their feet and about 5 feet back, where s/he fell into a heap.

I honestly felt sick. Had I really just seen-

"Relax, it's a stun pistol, just like that's a piece of weaponry meant to capture rather than kill. Wouldn't want to disturb the timeline, would we?" the Bastard mockingly mused, taking the rifle that seconds before was our biggest threat.

"We're not done yet. Keep running!"

Oh joy, because that little stand off wasn't nearly enough to make a lesser man wet their pants. I guess that if there's anything I owe to Asakura Ryoko, it was the fact that I could now weather most situations with a pretty clear head. Nearly getting stabbed, then impaled, then seeing a friend turned into a bloody spiked mess and then actually getting stabbed and nearly dying makes plenty of other situations seem downright calming.

The Bastard muttered something under his breath-probably another instruction telling me to save my breath for running-but at this moment it didn't really matter anyways. After all, if that was the most we'd have to deal with, it didn't seem all that bad.

"Ha! Yeah right. That was an advanced scout. They've pretty much figured out where we are now, it's only a matter of time-"

The sentence was cut off by that same noise, this time so loud that I felt like my eardrums were about to burst. Just how was any time traveller supposed to get here without a 5 mile radius noticing from the noise alone?

At this point the Bastard had stopped. Good-I didn't think that I could run anymore, even if he threatened me with that rather vicious looking rifle.

Before I could shout to ask why we'd stopped, I was rendered blind by that same whiteness. It was a good couple of moments before I could see again. Unfortunately, I could still hear just fine, well enough to hear the numerous guns I assumed were being levelled at us.

"Drop the weapon and get your hands where we can see them!" an authoritative but neutral voice commanded. My sight was returning just in time to see the Bastard, looking defeated, dropping the rifle to the ground and raising his hands in the air.

A brief look around confirmed the worst. There were a dozen of them that I could see, and the one I think I heard the order come from was dressed with a couple of extra insignias across the chest plate. At the moment he was holding the rest off from firing. I can only assume that both me and my less than pleased 'brother in arms' would have been out for weeks if the leader had given the word.

"By order of the Central Time Command, you two are under arrest for violation of the time stream and attempting to cause massive, irreparable damage to space-time as we know it," the voice said. Although it sounded completely level, there was an edge of hostility in it that made me reflexively gulp, even though my mouth was already dry from running in the night air.

The commander made a hand gesture, and everyone else cinched up on their guns.

Kinda unnecessary if you ask me. At this point, they knew they had us both, so it really didn't matter.

"I expected this from you, I knew it was just a matter of time. But I have to say that I'm disappointed in you, Kyon."

Wait, what?

The commander had addressed me by my nickname? No way, it couldn't possibly be. But my stomach sank when the commander removed her helmet, and an impressive red ponytail that might have had me in heaven any other day of the week instead just made my knees weak for all the wrong reasons. Asahina-san (big) stood before the two of us, a mix of disappointment and anger on her face.

"Oh, brother" doesn't even begin to cut it…

* * *

The Bastard levelled his best death gaze at the older Asahina-san standing in front of us, one that she was more than happy to return.

"Ah, so the lofty Asahina Mikuru finally decides to get her hands dirty. I'd be honoured if I cared."

"Well, it was you after all. You've been a problem in my life for as long as I've known you, so I thought that it was more than fitting to deal with this personally."

She turned her attention to me now, and although her look softened a bit, it was nowhere near as much as I would have liked.

"All I can say is that I'm disappointed in you. Out of all the people from the past, I thought that you were different, I thought that maybe, just maybe, you understood just what was at stake here."

"All I understand is that for the sake of your future the girl I love apparently has to suffer and be miserable the rest of her life! What kind of a person does that willingly to a friend!"

My train of thought and my anger were promptly derailed by the hard slap across my face. As I reeled back, I could only imagine how stunned I must have looked. I caught the Bastard smugly enjoying the show from the corner of my eye, although right now I was more focused on the face in front of me: her eyes were tearing up and her face was turning red, a mixture of anger and pain flooding across it.

"Haruhi was not my friend! I wasn't her friend! I was her_ plaything_! Do you know how that feels? To have to bend to the whims of a deranged sociopath or else knowing that because she had a bad day thanks to you that everyone you love might never even exist!"

Even some of the other officers were looking a little frightened at this moment. If I'd have had it in me to stare this woman down, then I would have, but if there was anything that I needed to say before they did whatever they were about to do, it was this:

"You aren't the Asahina-san I knew. You aren't Asahina-san, period."

She looked me dead in the eye, having regained her composure for the most part.

"You're right, I'm not. I didn't have that choice, to still be that innocent girl. I used to think that people from the past could be my friends, but there's too much that happened, too much that happened to me, to ever consider that again!"

Was this the product of her training? To make her turn her back on people that were her friends? I knew that she had her own time, but I refuse to believe that our Asahina-san thought of us as merely a means to an end. She was one of our friends just as much as we were one of hers. No, this wasn't Asahina-san; this was someone that simply lost herself at some point, and may never find herself again.

"Not to break-up this Kodak moment or anything, but you've got a date with destiny."

Both this woman who claimed to be Asahina-san and myself were stunned out of our stare-down of each other and turned towards the interjector. As we did, we saw that the Sneering Bastard was slowly lowering his hands.

"Put your hands back up!" one of the other officers shouted.

But before anyone could really react he assumed a relaxed posture, only to have something fall out of his sleeve and hit the ground. The look on the woman's face turned to horror as the Bastard smiled that almost trademark slasher grin.

"It's a temporal displacement grenade! Everyone-"

I closed my eyes and prepared to meet my maker, my maker hopefully being Haruhi, which would be a nice change of pace. It wasn't until I realized that nothing much of anything was happening that I opened my eyes.

The scene was surreal. Every single person, from the Bastard, to all the time cops, all of them were like statues, completely frozen in place. The commander even still had that shocked look on her face; it looked like she was in the middle of barking out an order, but that she got cut off mid-sentence.

This of course left me with the overwhelming question of just what the hell had happened, and why I was seemingly immune to it. As if in response to my question, I felt a slight buzzing in my pocket. I took out the device that Fujiwara had given me earlier. To my surprise it opened in my hand and a small screen displayed his face, looking less than pleased.

"Truth be told, I knew that it would come to this, which is why I gave you this temporal anchor, which makes you completely immune to the effects of my little surprise. We had to run in order for you to get close enough to the place where you'd be meeting up with history, so to speak. I also had to stall for time."

Come to think of it, I really didn't know what time it was. I assumed that we had arrived here at about the same time that I did on my first trip here, but I guess that wasn't the case.

"But now that the temporal displacement grenade has gone off, this small section of space time will be stuck like this for a while. More than long enough for you to do what you came here to do. Don't screw this up, you don't want to know what happens if you do."

With that the orb closed back up. Looked like it only had two tricks, and both of them it did quite well. Now the rest was up to me. Great. Now all I have to do is convince myself to never become John Smith. A real walk in the park.

. . . Oh, brother.

* * *

It didn't take me long to get as far away as possible from that frozen scene, since it was seriously disturbing to say the least. The Sneering Bastard was right when he had said that he'd been leading us here all along, since we were rather close to the park bench where it would all begin, at least from Haruhi's perspective.

Now that there wasn't any more immediate danger of getting captured and thrown who-knows-where, it really started to sink in: this would be the moment that would set the entire chain of events in motion. Little did I know on that day when she asked me the seemingly innocent question of whether she had met me before, that indeed she had, and I just didn't know it yet. It didn't really surprise me anymore, since nothing is normal with Haruhi, but . . .

Isn't that part of what makes being around her so enjoyable?

It was really starting to hit me hard, that when I did this, literally nothing would ever be the same again. As clichéd as that line sounds, it was true. I tried to convince myself that it was all for the best, I mean, I couldn't stand to have Haruhi stay like this, so wouldn't it be better if she had never met John Smith tonight? Then she could go on with her life, even if it meant never forming the SOS-Brigade. This was all for the best, for both of us, maybe for all of us.

But, was it?

My wanderings had taken me to within earshot of the park, and that's when I heard it.

"Kyon-kun, I'm sorry that you have to do this."

I nearly froze, thinking that I had been ousted, until I realized that the demure voice of Asahina-san (small) wasn't being directed at me, but rather at . . . me . . .

. . . Let me rephrase that, Asahina-san (small) was speaking to my sleeping self on the park bench.

I did my best to remain hidden, while of course also avoiding the spot where I think that Asahina-san (big) was likewise remaining hidden. Come to think of it, I never was told just how long I had been out, although I assumed that it was only for a few minutes at most. But it looked like I was out a lot longer than I had thought. Despite the fact that I knew without a doubt that I loved Haruhi, I couldn't help but being jealous of my younger self. Still, I had to keep focused, and figure out when would be the best time to reveal myself. Of course, I had figured that it would be after Asahina-san (small) was asleep and her future self had left the scene.

"I don't know what's going to happen. They don't give me access to that information, but knowing what time this is, I know that this is extremely important."

Somehow I felt like I was eavesdropping, even though I was technically the one whom the conversation was directed at. Of course, she thought that she was talking to an unconscious person using her lap as a pillow, not someone hiding in the bushes in the area. From where I was hiding, I could see that Asahina-san had an almost motherly look on her face, but there was also a tinge of sadness. I couldn't help but wonder why , and as if she was reading my mind, she softly explained to my sleeping self:

"I know that I must be a burden to you, and to Suzumiya-san and Nagato-san and Koizumi-kun, but, even though I haven't really been able to say it, I'm glad that I've met you all, and that we've become friends."

The words really struck a contrast between this moment and the one that I had just been in. I couldn't help but wonder if her change of attitude was more or less my fault. I mean, maybe I did let Haruhi get away with too much. Maybe I should have been more up front with my objections.

And yet, despite all that she's been through (or from the perspective of the one sitting on the park bench, all the things she will be put through) there were plenty of times when she seemed genuinely happy to be here, even if it wasn't her own time. She always found joy in even the simplest things. I remember how happy she looked when she was patiently waiting for her latest tea to be ready to serve to the rest of us. Likewise, during the school festival, she seemed really delighted to be serving so many happy customers, even if it was just with water.

My mind wandered through all the times when Asahina-san was filled with wonder or joy, and to me, they seemed to outweigh those hard times. Even the moments I wasn't there for, but learned about later, like when Haruhi told me all the effort that she, Asahina-san, and Nagato had put into making the chocolate for Valentine's Day. Of course, at that moment Haruhi herself wouldn't have admitted that she was trying to get my attention with those sweets, and let's not even get into my own troublesome habit of ignoring what was being waved in front of my face for months.

No, it took a near tragedy to do that.

Maybe that was another reason why I was doing this, to stop anyone from getting as hurt as Nagato almost was on that day. I mean, it will be tough to convince myself, but if anyone can do it, shouldn't it be a me that's older and wiser, even if it's only by a couple of months?

I've done things that I thought were impossible before. Like, for example, finally asking Haruhi out. And even though in hindsight I rank that as the more impressive accomplishment that I made that day, the one I made before it was equally as important.

* * *

_I took Kuyoh back to Nagato's apartment as my legs could carry me, looking back now and then just to confirm that she hadn't pulled any sort of strange disappearing act as some sort of cruel joke, but each time I was met with that same somewhat blank and clueless looking face that didn't change even though she was going full gait to keep pace with me. It was lucky enough that the café wasn't too far from the apartment complex._

_It was also unlucky though, because I had forgotten that Haruhi had the key to the front door._

_I tried my best to keep myself from going into a blind panic, although even if I tore my own hair out I doubt that the girl beside me would care that much, or even think it that unusual. Of course I wasn't thinking straight, but taking a moment to analyze the situation after giving serious contemplation to breaking the door down, I realized that I could just call Nagato after all._

_The fact that she didn't answer though just drove my panic from a blind one to an outright apocalypse._

"_No! We can't be too late! Not after all of this, we just can't!"_

_Kuyoh simply cocked her head to one side, giving me as much of a quizzical stare as she could possibly muster. _

"_I don't suppose that you can just teleport us up to Nagato's apartment, can you?"_

"__ negative. Overabundance of dissolutive factors _ improbability rating."_

_And I thought some of Nagato's tech speech was bad._

"__ proximity detection indicates _ two units _ one operating at 10% efficacy and declining _ the other at 52% efficacy and remaining stable."_

_10%? Then we weren't too late! Wait . . . The other? Of course, Kimidori-san! Crap, what was her apartment number? She lived on the same floor, actually I think that she took Asakura's old apartment, which suited me just fine. As my fingers crossed the numbers on the pad I prayed that I would get it right the first time._

_One ring._

_Two rings._

_She couldn't not be there, Kuyoh just said she was and that she was operating, at least to more of a capacity than Nagato._

_Just when I thought that I might have the wrong apartment, someone picked up on the other end, and a tired but blissfully familiar sounding voice answered._

"_Hello, this is Kimidori Emiri. Is this very important? I'm feeling a little under the weather at the moment."_

_Believe me Kimidori-san, this is as important as it gets._

"_It's me."_

"_Ah, you have returned with the rest of the group."_

"_Not quite, I have Suou Kuyoh with me, and we need to come up as fast as you can let us in!"_

"_The representative of the Macrospatial Quantum Cosmic Existence? But it is the entity responsible for this current predicament!"_

_Yeah, but it's not an attack like we thought! They're trying to communicate with you. At this point I will admit that I was perhaps a little too blind to the possibility that Kuyoh might simply be saying that this was the case, when it in fact was an attack, but the girl gave the impression of being blunt, if nothing else. Maybe that's why she wasn't at the meeting, they didn't want her spilling the real facts behind the crisis._

_After a moment of silence, the buzzer sounded and over the intercom, Kimidori's voice came, quiet but still strangely commanding all things considered:_

"_Bring her up and meet me outside of Nagato-san's apartment; there may be a way to end this predicament before it is too late."_

_

* * *

_

_I was in the building, dragging the mass of black hair behind me, before the doors could even fully open. I took the stairs because at the rate I was going they were faster than the elevator could be anyways. When we got into the hallway, I could see Kimidori-san waiting for us. She looked about the same as the last time I saw her, but perhaps slightly worse, which made me worry even more about how Nagato was doing at this point._

_Kimidori-san looked at the two of us, more carefully scrutinizing the rival-I guess they are rivals, maybe?-interface. Something told me that they almost might have been having a conversation without my knowing it, but before I could really ask, Kimidori-san opened the apartment door and gestured for us to come in._

"_I will not embellish the truth: Nagato-san does not have much time left. In this current situation, if she ceases to function without a link to the main entity, if she ceases to function, there will be no way to repair the damage."_

_In other words, if she dies now, there isn't a backup, or any sort of convenient reset button. That makes getting whatever needs to be done right now even more important._

"_Of course, what I plan to do is not without its dangers."_

_Wait. What do you mean, and just what is it you plan on doing, Kimidori-san?_

_As we all gathered around Nagato, who didn't even acknowledge our presence in any way, Kimidori-san began to explain._

"_Taking into account that the explanation given by this avatar is correct," she said, gesturing to Kuyoh, who looked back at her, "so great is its scale then that this attempt at communication is blocking all other transmissions."_

"_So, to put it crudely, it's almost like a denial of service attack, except unintentional."_

"_Somewhat akin to that, yes. What I plan to do is allow Kuyoh, and through her the entity that she represents, to communicate directly to the Thought Entity through me."_

_Something tells me that this isn't going to be something as simple as just sitting down and talking over tea._

_Kimidori-san nodded. "Indeed. This will take nearly every ounce of power that I have in my current condition. One single avatar of an entity cannot stop this process, so Kuyoh cannot effectively lend any aid to this process, it is all in my hands."_

_Then I really, really hope that you're up to it, Kimidori-san._

"_As do I," she said, turning to face Kuyoh, who was sitting beside her. She grabbed one of the alabaster hands of the girl and closed her eyes as Kuyoh did likewise. I was left in silence, looking at Nagato and worrying just what would happen if this didn't work. No, it had to work, it just had to!_

_After what seemed like ages, Kimidori-san opened her eyes, and said the words that almost crushed my spirit right on the spot: "The attempt is going to be unsuccessful."_

_No, after all this, there has to be something else that can be done!_

"_There is. But it is even more dangerous than what I am attempting now."_

"_What is the risk? Is it something that I have to do? I'll do anything; just name it!"_

"_It is something that you have to do, but you will not be the one assuming the risk," she said, looking at the motionless figure seemingly asleep on the bed._

_Nagato? I don't understand, she can barely keep herself alive, let alone help in this situation._

"_That is true, but only because of the locks placed on her programming and powers after her malfunction."_

_The last word bit me a little, but this wasn't the time to think about that._

"_Normally, the locks would be removed by the Entity directly, but since this is not the case, they will have to be removed from this side, with the proper password."_

_A password to remove them from this side? But, what could it possibly be?_

"_You will receive instructions and hints. However, attempting to undo the locks will prove draining, and in this situation, if the locks are not removed quickly after-"_

"_You don't have to tell me what will happen. I don't want to know. But how quickly is 'quickly' in this case?"_

"_Perhaps five minutes."_

_Five minutes to guess a password that could be anything, and if I get it wrong . . . Well, I really didn't want to think about what will happen if I get it wrong._

"_It is dire, but without Nagato-san's help, there is no chance of success in this current endeavour."_

_Alright, point made; here's hoping my lucky streak keeps up._

_With that having been said, Kimidori-san told me what to do before devoting her attention back to fully maintaining the level of progress that she had managed. After calming myself as much as I possibly could, I began._

"_Unit Nagato Yuki: begin sequences to remove inhibiting programs."_

_Nagato weakly opened her eyes, and spoke in an almost hollow voice that would have sent chills down my spine if I had time to really think about it._

"_Beginning removal sequence. Entity main core cannot be reached at this time for verification. Please state password."_

_Here comes the hard part, what could the password be? Without any hints to start off, I tried something glaringly obvious: "Suzumiya Haruhi"_

"_Password incorrect. Power output dropping. Do you wish to maintain current procedures?"_

_With no choice, I simply nodded, at which point Nagato spoke up again._

"_First aid: . . . Very important to me."_

_It almost seemed like the messages where more fragmented than they should have been; could the lack of power be affecting her so badly that she couldn't even properly give hints to the password? This was not good._

"_Unh, something important? Well, what about books?"_

"_Password incorrect."_

_Damn! Time was running out, and here I was not even able to think of anything besides 'books'! I should be hung for my incompetence!_

"_Second aid: I would give my life to protect -"_

_It looked like she was going to say more, but nothing came out of her mouth. At this point I was getting desperate, I tried something even broader: "Knowledge."_

"_. . . incorrect. Third aid: . . ."_

_She couldn't even say anything anymore, and I didn't have any ideas._

_Think what you will of me, but I'm not ashamed to admit that at this point I began to tear up, despite my best efforts. This was perhaps the one time when I could have helped Nagato as much as she's helped me, but I just didn't know the answer. I knew that it wasn't the time to wallow in my own self pity, but I just couldn't help it._

_Then, a slight tug on my wrist. As I looked through my watery eyes I saw Nagato looking at me. I don't know if my vision was blurred, but I swear that she looked just like she did when she had wished to simply be a normal schoolgirl. And yet, despite that, even with her fondest wish, she still gave the ultimate choice to me._

_Wait, could that really be it? I dearly hoped I was right, more than I had hoped for absolutely anything ever before in my life. As I bent down and whispered the words into her ear, the seconds could have been years before the response came._

"_Password accepted: dissolution of power limitation factors granted. Processing."_

_A second before I just barely kept myself from crying out in sorrow, but now I had to keep myself from crying tears of joy. Before I could really realize what was going on Nagato shot up into the sitting position, nearly sending me sprawling on account of how close to her I had been. Without a word she grabbed Kuyoh's other hand, and closed her eyes like Kimidori-san._

_After a few moments of what looked like intense concentration from all three of them, they opened their eyes, and in union said the words that I had hoped would be coming:_

"_Communication link established."_

_Separating their hands, I could already see that Nagato and Kimidori-san were looking better than either had in more than a day. I was surprised when I turned to Kuyoh though. There was something different about her, a lucidity that wasn't there before. It surprised me when she quickly got to her feet, then gave a small bow._

"_I am sorry for all the trouble that this communication attempt has caused. I do hope that now that lines of communication have been established, that communication will continue between our two benefactors, and between us as well."_

_She spoke with a quiet ease, not struggling for words or making awkward pauses. It was like she was a completely different person now. I couldn't help but wonder just what happened, but as long as everyone was alright, then I wasn't going to worry that much._

"_Kyon, thank you for allowing this to happen."_

_The dark haired girl bowed slightly again, then left the apartment as quickly as she had come in. Kimidori-san also stood up and prepared to leave._

"_No doubt that the Entity will want to discuss this at length among its various factions and representatives. I will leave you to rest and recuperate somewhat, Nagato-san. And, like Kuyoh, I must thank you for your help in this matter. Without it the situation would not have been as, preferable to the one we are experiencing now."_

_Having seemingly gained an ability to massively understate the gravity of the situation, Kimidori-san also left to go back home, perhaps to do some convalescence of her own. Even though she had faired better in the, er, communication attempt than Nagato, she was still probably feeling it as well._

_And so, I was left alone, with Nagato, in her bedroom, with her in pajamas. Haruhi would kill me if she ever found this out._

"_Thank you." _

_A soft voice, now much more recognizable, broke me out of thinking what a grand punishment I'd have to endure._

"_After all the times that you've saved me, it was the least I could do." I just wish that it hadn't have been so touch and go, but hey, I can't complain about the results._

_And, I guess you could say, that in a way I was better for it._

_Although the petite interface might have been somewhat confused when I started tearing up a little, then gave her as much of a hug that I thought she could handle-though looking back, we are talking about the Nagato that got impaled as though it were a casual ear piercing or something-it still meant a lot to me when she returned the hug. Not strongly, but it was more than enough._

"_One good thing that came out of this, Nagato, is that now I know what it is that I want."_

_Nagato tilted her head slightly, looking about as puzzled as she could ever look._

_It was simple. It was in front of me all along, she was in front of me all along, and I had almost been too stubborn to say anything about it to her. But even if she doesn't reciprocate, I knew what I had to do. _

_I need to tell her how I feel about her, I thought. And no matter where the path goes from there, for good or ill, at least she'll know, and I'll know how she feels._

* * *

Those words replayed in my mind as clearly as I thought them on that day that seemed to almost be another lifetime ago. I realized that in all my time reminiscing, that Asahina-san (big), or at least the one that talked to me then, was just about to leave, meaning that soon would be my only chance.

I also knew at that moment, that there was no way in hell that I was going to interfere with the events that were about to unfold.

Less than a day ago I had been angry with Haruhi for wanting to walk away from it all. And yet here I was, trying to do the same thing on an even grander scale. I was about to throw away all the memories, all the times, both good and bad, just for the sake of sparing myself the heartbreak of losing her. At least with her turning her back on things there was the possibility of getting her to listen, of getting things to return to normal. With what I seriously considered doing, there was no going back.

No, I wasn't going to interfere. You couldn't have forced me to even if you'd of possessed every single cell in my body. I knew that there wasn't an easy answer to this; hell, maybe there wasn't one. But one thing was for sure: this wasn't the answer that I was looking for. I've really known it all along. It felt wrong being here, and even though I tried to chalk it up to being in a different time, I've never felt this way any other time I've time traveled.

No, it was me knowing that this was something that I just couldn't do.

And so, keeping a safe distance, I watched it all unfold. I was somewhat amused by just how hard I worked that night, and what an 'imposing' taskmaster the tiny but no less tenacious Haruhi was at the time. I guess anything is easier to appreciate, as long as you're not doing hard labour at the time.

After everything was said and done, with Haruhi heading back home satisfied despite my 'shoddy' workmanship, and myself and Asahina-san (small) heading off for a three year long slumber party at Nagato's place, I went into the courtyard and drank it all in. This is when it might have happened, and this is where it all happened again. The events set in motion would cause my life to become a mess, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Of course, it was only now, staring at the giant scrawl over the courtyard, that a very important thought crossed my mind:

How was I going to get back to my time?

"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about that."

A voice came from behind me, with a cold edge to it. I also heard a sound I'd become all too familiar with in the last couple of hours: a gun being raised and trained on my position.

Asahina-san (big), leader of the TIF, stood with a weapon and a very stern expression on her face, seemingly ready to atomize me.

"Kyon, I hereby place you under arrest for massive incursion of the time stream."

Oh, brother.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** First of all, an apology, I know that this took a while to get published, but school gave me no time to indulge in writing anything aside from essays. I hope that the wait was worth it. To me, this is one of the most important and pivotal chapters, and one that I've been thinking about nearly from the start.

Needless to say, the story is beginning to reach it's conclusion. I can pretty safely say that there will be at most ten parts, but more than eight, so probably nine. This is of course subject to change, but it's honestly how long I think it's going to go at the moment.

Once again, monumental thanks goes to Arty Esbee d'Arc for her continued betaing, which I assure you is a lot more punctual than my writing progress.

I hope to be able to bring the next chapter to bare sometime next month, but unfortunately I cannot make any guarantees with studies starting back up. As such, I thank everyone for continuing to read and enjoy the story. Your continued reviews and following of the story means a lot to me, so sincerely, thank you.

Disclaimer:** I, of course, do not own any of the characters of the Haruhi universe, please don't sue me (strangely flattering as it would be).**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

In retrospect, this day wasn't been the worst day of my life. I've been able to reaffirm my feelings towards my friends, and towards Haruhi, and for someone like me, that was monumental.

On the other hand though, being charged with crimes against the time stream wasn't exactly something they settle in The People's Court the last time I checked.

Yes, even thought I chose not to interfere with time (thought I totally could have) Asahina (big) - she's officially lost any honorific - apparently saw fit to imprison Fujiwara and me in this tiny one room portable jail. Apparently in the future they have a method of carrying large items (i.e. portable jails) in compressed space - I was almost disappointed by the lack of a comic book "BOM!" when they deployed it. Now we were just waiting for the trial, thought it was no doubt just a formality for whatever they've got planned.

"Of course, we wouldn't have to worry about that if you'd have actually done what you were supposed to do, you soft-hearted moron."

This of course was from my partner in crime, who was less than pleased about the current situation. Although I guess I couldn't really blame him; I doubt that this was the outcome that he predicted, nor the one that he would have picked.

"Aren't you clever. Did you figure that out all by yourself, or did you have to get your 'friend' the high-and-mighty Mikuru's help with that."

And, truth is, it was my fault. Even if presented with the whole plan upfront, it probably would have come to this anyways. I couldn't really say that I was thinking straight at the time, and any solution had seemed like something reasonable then. Really, I had to thank him. This wasn't the solution I wanted, but as I said, I did get something out of it.

Now, whether or not I'll be able to use that resolve was a different matter entirely. For the moment, I had some time to barter with. Asahina (big) was rather tight lipped, but I overheard some of the officers talking before I got shoved in here that apparently that time stopping device that Fujiwara used messed up every single TPDD in the vicinity, which last time I checked, was all of them.

"That's the only reason we aren't in the future right now. As soon as they get the channels of communication back up, they'll just send more people with working TPDD's here, and then it's all over."

"The way you say that makes it sound like we're walking down death row."

"That's because for me it is, you dumbass," he snapped. "I'm a wanted criminal. As for you, who knows. You're too important to just sweep under the carpet and that little interface of yours can probably undo any mental influence they put on you. From their perspective though, they have unlimited amounts of time, so don't worry, I'm sure they'll come up with something."

"This is not doing much for my opinion of time travelers, you know."

"Then how about this: whatever happens to you, for me it'll be far worse. They might jail me, or more likely put me in temporal stasis; or worse, they could program me like a two bit calculator so that I'll be a good little lapdog."

Wait, really? He had mentioned some underhanded methods, but I'd never think they'd go that far.

Did you have to go through the same thing, Asahina-san (small)? Is that why you ended up the way you did?

"Oh, probably," he made the statement far too casually for my taste, "some people get more programming than others, some people barely get any at all, but no one active in time travelling gets away without having some."

"Once again? Not helping."

"I'm just telling it to you straight. We can't have anything slipping out, or have you already forgotten just how many times she annoyingly told you that something was 'classified information'? That's not always deliberate on her part; she literally _can't_ divulge anything they don't want her to. Or, that was the case anyways."

A terrifying thought, and once again I felt a little guilty. As much as this guy rubbed me the wrong way, I didn't want to see his brain turned into swiss cheese. Unfortunately, given that we were both incarcerated, all I could do was take my cue from Dumas and wait and hope. If I tried to apologize he'd probably only blow me off.

But . . .

"Even though you probably don't care, I'm sorry." Curse my soft heart.

I prepared for laughter, or maybe a jeering comeback, but instead I got nothing. When I turned to look at him, he was just staring off into the distance - or, well, rather he would be if there wasn't a wall directly in front of him. Given the close quarters, nothing was really 'distant'. Slowly, he answered:

"Yeah, whatever."

Somehow, his somewhat blasé acceptance of my apology only made me feel worse. I've only ever met Fujiwara a handful of times, but in all those times he's been anything but pensive.

Something about my staring must have upset him, because he quickly spat out, "What? If you want me to say something it's that you have a crappy sense of timing, but what's done is done. Even a rogue time traveler knows that much."

As I looked at him, I couldn't help but think that he left something out. Maybe he was stunned that I didn't go through with it. On the other hand, maybe he was just amazed that someone could care enough about anyone else to put their neck on the line like I have.

"Now, as riveting of a conversation as this is, unless you have any ideas about how to get us out of here, I'd like to spend what with all probability will be my last moments in a semblance of peace.

Then again it was entirely possible that I was just thinking too much about this because I didn't want to think about what would happen when our captors got their equipment repaired. Unfortunately, there wasn't much else to do besides sit and stew, although my aching body didn't have much of a problem with that. Running around being chased like a game animal, just like being trapped in dimensional spaces, being in the middle of a real magical girl fight, getting stabbed, and dealing with the end of the world, was something I would never get used to. While I'm at it, I might as well add time to the list. After all, if you'd have told me four years ago that I'd be meeting a girl who had powers on a grand enough scale to affect the entire universe, and then that I'd fall in love with her enough to do insane stuff like nearly alter all of time space, I probably would have been the one dialing the phone to call in the psychiatrists.

. . . You know, I bet all of this would make interesting reading material, if anyone who read it wouldn't think I was stark raving mad afterwards.

There I go again. As you can see, I wasn't really racking my brain to figure a way out, even though I should have been. But, really, this was one of those situations when my often overridden common sense could really get a chance to kick in. The time travelers were a highly organized and heavily armed military group; Fujiwara and me were two completely unarmed guys, and in my case, all I knew about self-defense came from Shonen Jump. I definitely didn't stand a chance, and as much as Fujiwara might want to literally go out with guns blazing, I'd prefer for the sake of everyone involved if that didn't happen. So unless he came up with any terrifically bright ideas soon, we were, sad to say, pretty much doomed. Reinforcements (for them, not us) were coming soon and from what little I could see through the porthole above us, it was still early night, even though it felt like I'd been thinking about the past, the present, and (as much as I wanted to avoid it) the future for hours.

Perfect. Just perfect.

* * *

I woke up with a start, and made some rather quick realizations: first of all, I wasn't in a cramped cell anymore; secondly, it was the middle of the day; and thirdly, I must be dreaming.

That was the only thing that could possibly explain how I was looking at myself sitting on a park bench right now. Well, okay, not the only thing, since time traveling didn't come with an invisibility cloak and my other self didn't seem to be aware of me at all, despite my being directly in front of him, that option just wasn't applicable here. Come to think of it, this entire scene looked familiar, even though I was viewing it from a different perspective than I did the first time. It was almost like watching tv, although who'd want to watch me when I wasn't doing something involving a cave cricket or alien fights is beyond my knowledge.

Then it dawned on me.

This was that day, that very moment. This is when I asked Haruhi out.

Oh man, this was going to be embarrassing.

This was just after everyone left Nagato's place. We had all eaten lunch there after she recovered, and then I fed Haruhi a story about how I found a friend of Nagato who just happened to have a home remedy for the illness Nagato had. It wasn't completely off base, right? Anyways, Haruhi was just happy that Nagato was okay, just like the rest of us were, so she didn't explore it too deeply, and we parted ways. I wandered for a bit and I ended up here, without even thinking about it.

Yeah, there I go, getting out my phone when I realized that when I sat down on the park bench, that it was **that** park bench. This park bench was a Mecca for time travellers, there was no other explanation, but now it was serving as a backdrop to one of my crazier decisions.

"Haruhi, meet me in the park by the café the Brigade always goes to!"

And then I hung up. I still couldn't believe how impulsive I was. Some of Haruhi must have really rubbed off on me if I did that. At the time I wasn't really thinking about it; because if I had then there's no way I would have done it otherwise. I mean, can you imagine me giving an order to Haruhi? It's ridiculous!

I watched myself get up and start pacing around. I guess that at the time I should have taken the fact that Koizumi hadn't called and said something about a supersized close space as a good sign, but at the time I was nervous that I had really pissed our illustrious chief off, or that she had just shrugged off my call. I guess that I was planning to stand there until she either showed up, or it became obvious she wouldn't. It wasn't actually that long before I saw Haruhi's head in the crowd, heading towards me - er, the other me, dream me.

Even though I thought I'd be above this I couldn't help making a couple of stupid faces while walking around her. I guess being in the situation really does make you want to. Anyways, I grabbed a good seat and watched the comedy unfold.

"You've got some nerve!" she said - she was trying to look angry, but looking at it calmly now, her tone was awfully playful, all things considered. She was still annoyed, but more in the "why the hell did you drag me out here" sort of way, rather than a "I'm going to rip off your head and parade around with it on a stick" sort of way. I guess that we were both in high spirits due to Nagato's recovery.

"What's so important that you, a subordinate and lowest ranking member of the glorious SOS-Brigade, decided that you had the authority to make a demand to your chief without even waiting for a response?"

I stood there for a really long time, looking kind of stupid. For all the wit people claim I have, I certainly didn't have any access to it at that moment. It was almost groan-inducing, although I realized that I was thinking something like how to break this to Haruhi.

"Well, I just wanted to talk to you about something."

Good. Grief. I'm amazed that Haruhi didn't flying dropkick me right that second. Instead both of us just looked kind of dumbfounded.

"That's seriously the best you can come up with? No UFO sightings? No mysterious energy storms popping up? You couldn't have just done this over the phone!"

Yeah, like I'm the kind of guy that asks a woman on a date over the phone.

"Wait, what?"

"Wait, what?"

Cue awkward moment of silence and stupefied glances.

"I just said that out loud, didn't I?"

Yes, yes I did.

I can't believe that it actually happened like this, I was suppressing my urge to laugh, even though I knew no one would hear me. I can't believe that _this_ is how I asked Haruhi out.

Of course, Haruhi's expression and demeanour got immediately serious. She just stood there with her eyes closed and her arms crossed, going over something in her mind. Truth be told this was more the posture that I would have expected out of someone like Nagato if I'd have asked her to calculate pi to a billion decimal points (though she probably would have done it in an instant). Then she opened her eyes, and sized dream-me up like Ali sizing up Glass Joe. I'm surprised I didn't run for my life at that very moment. Even though I knew now what was going to happen, it was all I could do to stand my own ground. Hang in there, me!

"I get what you're trying to do." she said, a devious grin on her face.

At this point, the best that dream me could do was look completely clueless, because he honestly was.

"Don't play coy with me, Kyon! You're trying to get out of the punishment that you know would be coming for some of what you've been doing these past couple of days." The grin grew as she cupped her chin in her hand.

Ah, so that was how I looked when I was completely exasperated. Good to know.

I should explain. To Haruhi, this was a ploy because she was suspicious that I spent time alone with Nagato, which, to Haruhi, obviously meant that I took advantage of her in her delicate state. Of course, I knew that if there was anyone that I couldn't take advantage of, even if I wanted to, Nagato would be second on the list only to Haruhi herself.

"You can't seriously think I'm that kind of person."

"It does seem out of character, but hey, stress does crazy things to a person." was her reply. From my point of view, she was obviously having fun with me, but dream me took this dead seriously.

"Are you trying to give me an excuse for something I didn't do? Is it that strange to think that I might have wanted to ask you out on a date because I like you?"

"This was clever, you almost had me going for a minute there, Kyon. But you should know that it'll be a million, no, a billion years before you can pull the wool over my eyes! As such, your punishment will have to be something really bad." Haruhi purred, with a grin that would have made Fujiwara envious (and possibly make him soil his pants as well).

At this point, dream me was gearing up for just about anything, but little did he know what was coming next.

"Your punishment is to treat me for the rest of the afternoon that you've made me waste by coming out here!"

* * *

"Wake up."

An unfamiliar voice jarred me from my slumber. I guess that I had been more tired than I realized, because I was sleeping sitting up (there wasn't nearly enough space to get in any other position, and I wasn't about to stand all night long)

"Wake up!"

All right, all right!

I obeyed the voice, and as my eyes started coming into focus a couple things were immediately obvious: it was nearly daybreak, and the person standing in front of me was indeed no one I knew, because it was one of the TIF officers. I guess that they were finally ready to move us somewhere else, or take us to the future where they'd be able to deal with us more easily. For a brief moment, I contemplated attacking this guy; he seemed rather unprepared in the event of trouble: his gun was slung behind his back, and his manner was just a little too casual. But still, even if I knocked out this guy and took his weapon, there were however many more of them within earshot of the scuffle that it would no doubt cause just waiting to fire. Besides, though my opinion of time travelers had plummeted down to subterranean levels, aside from Asahina (big), I didn't owe any of these people any contempt. They were just doing their job after all. It was then I realized that the officer was just standing there, staring at me. Was there something on my face?

"No, it's just interesting to see the legendary figure after all this time. You are Kyon-kun, after all," the officer replied.

Wait a minute. Did he just call me "Kyon-kun"?

"I'd say it's nice to meet you, and in a way, it wouldn't be a lie, but I don't think that this is the time for reintroductions. It's time to stop just sitting around and being complacent. I think I've done more than enough of both at this point."

At this point, I was pretty much lost in the plot again, until the soldier reached up and took his helmet off, allowing a ponytail of a familiar brown hue to hang loose. Of course, at this point I also realized that I had been using the wrong gender pronoun, and that one of my earlier assumptions had been blatantly false: I knew this person quite well.

"Hello Kyon-kun … it's been a while." Asahina Mikuru said with a smile.

* * *

For a moment I wondered whether Asahina (big) was playing some sort of sadistic joke on me, until I realized that this Asahina-san was not quite as tall as Asahina (big), but still taller than Asahina-san (small). I couldn't compare the bust sizes (get your mind out of the gutter; it would have been purely for comparison purposes) since the uniform had hidden her gender so well that I didn't even know it was a girl. The voice even sounded male until she took the helmet off.

Before I could continue that train of thought though, it was completely derailed by the fact that Asahina-san was now hugging me almost with as much force as Haruhi (only on the average day, but that was still a considerable amount).

"It's been so long, and I've missed everyone so much. But I never expected anything like this to happen," she said after letting me go.

She clearly noted my confusion, and was quick to try and address it: "For me, it's been a little over two years since I've seen anyone from the SOS-Brigade."

So I was right. Wait, does this make this Asahina-san Asahina-san (medium)?

Oh, who cares? There would be time to ask such banal questions later. First things first:

"What exactly are you doing here, Asahina-san?"

She collected herself, thinking it over as if she didn't really know the answer herself. "There's not much time to explain," she answered, "We've got to get out of here before anyone else realizes what's going on. I don't want there to be a scene. But I do owe you an explanation, if only for what that other me has put you through.

"To put it in the briefest of terms: I shouldn't actually be here. I wasn't authorized to come on this mission, and I'm actually amazed that I've even gotten this far, but when I saw what was going on, I knew what I needed to do. I can't let you and Suzumiya-san and everyone else suffer for the sake of the future; I can't, no, I won't become like . . . like _her_!"

At this point Asahina-san was almost shouting, and only when I began to look a little panicked did she realize that she was becoming a little too boisterous and restrained herself again.

"There will hopefully be time for explanations later though; right now I have to get you out of here."

Once again, luck was a literal lady at my side, this time in the form of the slightly older and wiser Asahina-san. But there was one thing that I couldn't leave be.

"Wait Asahina-san. I don't know how you feel about this, but regardless of what has happened or will happen between you two, we have to bring Fujiwara with us."

I didn't know how Asahina-san would react to such a request, and at first I don't think she knew how to take it, but thankfully after thinking it over for a moment she simply smiled that enchanting smile of hers and said that she understood.

Just the look on Fujiwara's face when he saw us as we opened the cell door alone would have made it worth setting him free, but truly, in his own way, he's helped me a lot, even if it was for his own reasons. He quickly collected himself though, and we proceeded to make a quick exit.

Then, for the second time in 24 hours, I heard that sickening noise of a weapon being readied behind us.

"I don't know who you are, but as of right now your little prison break is over," the voice of the leader of this group called out. I say voice, but of course I knew who it was, and Asahina (big), clearly furious that one of her own officers had decided now of all times to stage a coup, soon continued: "Take that weapon off your back, slowly, and then step out to where I can see you."

Once all three of us stepped out of the dimly lit area where the impromptu jail was erected, the anger on her face turned into shock and complete and utter confusion.

"No, this, this can't be right . . ." she stammered, in a way almost reverting back to that meek and defenceless that she once was.

"Why are _you_ here? How are you here? It's not possible!" she shouted, trying to regain her air of authority.

It was this moment, more than any other, that showed me that the two Asahina-sans that stood before each other were different from the girl I knew. I had already known the ways in which Asahina (big) was different. But this Asahina-san that stood beside me right now was greatly changed as well. The Asahina-san that I knew would probably have been a bowl of quivering jelly by now. But this Asahina-san was steadfast, she wasn't giving her former superior officer and future incarnation an inch.

"I'm here because I need to be here" came the reply, said without a hint of nervousness or doubt.

"But, this _can't_ be happening! I don't remember any of this." Asahina (big) exclaimed, at this point the gun in her hand was subtly shaking.

"Maybe not, but that doesn't change the fact that it is happening right now. I'm returning Kyon-kun to his own time and helping him and Suzumiya-san in any way I can!"

It was at this point that Asahina (big) started to take on the demeanour that was familiar to me, but not because of her. It was the same demeanour that my mother used whenever she was disappointed with me. There was an edge of smugness to it, which made it worse, but there was some genuine sympathy and concern in her tone as well when she replied, in that strangely contradictive tone, "You're so naïve. How can you say that you'll help these people. People that aren't even from your own time. People that have done nothing but hurt you and mistreat you? Do you even understand how terrible that girl is? What she's done to us?"

Asahina-san (medium) simply stared at her older counterpart, her reply coming naturally: "She's is my friend; just like everyone else in the past is. And because they deserve my help more than you or the future ever will."

There was some wavering in her voice, but I could tell this Asahina-san meant every word of what she had said. It was the weight of those words that might have scared her, but not the resolve of what they meant. Obviously, her older self gleaned the same thing, because she was clearly shocked that her younger adversary was still standing her ground.

"I never really got the chance to look back," Asahina (big) almost lamented, "I forgot how idealistic I was in my youth. There was a time when I would have gone this far for my "friends" -" she seemed conflicted when she said the word, as if it still had a meaning that she was trying to deny, "-but this is over. You're outnumbered and outgunned. So please just come quietly, and I promise that we'll sort this all out."

It was a genuine offer, but something about it still made my blood run cold.

I was so focused on the conflict in front of me that I had indeed failed to notice that we were obviously surrounded, and all the other TIF members had their guns at the ready as well. Asahina (big) wasn't trying to come off as smug, but her tone and posture said it all. She had us, not the other way around.

"This came as a surprise, but I realize now that when dealing with _her_ that I should have been prepared for anything. It might take a little time, but you'll understand why you, why I have to do this. These people aren't your friends; they just used you for their own gain."

At this point Asahina-san (medium) was nearly shaking.

"Even though I had to do some things that I regret, you have to realize that I did it all for you. To make sure you'd have a future worth looking forward to." she said as gently as she could.

"If the future means that I'll become a person like you … If that's the sacrifice that I'd have to make … then I don't care about the future!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, some almost invisible tears falling from her eyes as she met the words of her future self head on.

For a moment, I almost wondered if Fujiwara had set off another one of those time stopping devices, because it certainly seemed as if time was standing still. I'm sure that the shock on Fujiwara's face was probably mirrored in my own, but that was nothing compared to the amount that betrayed itself across the face of Asahina (big). Even though I couldn't see the faces of the people surrounding us, it was obvious that even they were amazed that someone had just been so blunt with their commander.

The surprise for her older self quickly turned into frustration though, with some slight rage boiling under the surface. It seemed she knew that she'd been bested in this battle, and even if she knew she'd probably win the war, she wasn't happy about it.

"I have had **enough** of arguing with this child!" she snapped, jarring the TIF officers back to reality. "Knock them out for a week if need be, I don't care, just put them down!" she ordered.

Even though they were just stun guns (or had a stun setting which I hoped none of them had forgotten to activate) I knew that this was the end either way. I prepared myself to meet whatever maker was waiting for me. Again, if it has to be anyone, please make it Haruhi.

But after a few moments, I met no one, and everyone just looked confused by the rather large amount of nothing happening. Asahina's (big) veneer of calmness disappeared entirely, as she shouted, "I gave you all a direct order to shoot, so shoot!" but all her soldiers could do was give her pleading looks.

"We tried, ma'am, but the weapons have malfunctioned!"

Asahina (big) scoffed. "That's not possible, let alone probable! Something else-"

While she wasn't able to finish her sentence, she was right in a way. Something even less probably was exactly the cause, as Asahina (big) looked on in horror all of her officers fell to the ground, seemingly incapacitated by an unknown force.

"But . . . this can't be . . ." the older woman said, almost trying to will away what was happening as if it were a bad dream.

"I'm not naïve enough to go in here without some insurance," Asahina-san (medium) finally spoke, breaking all of our collective stupor. I would have almost said that Asahina-san wanted to smile, but kept herself in check, not wanting to stoop to the level of smugness that her count part had moments earlier.

Before she could utter another word of disbelief, Asahina (big) fell to the ground. Only then did I understand what had happened.

Or rather, who had happened. Because standing behind where the older Asahina-san had been was the familiar figure of Nagato Yuki.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Phew, it's been quite a while, hasn't it. I realize that this chapter might read a little short, but that's because this one and the one that's now chapter 9 used to be one gigantic chapter. And Chapter 9 shouldn't be too long in coming. I can also pretty safely say that this will be a 10 chapter story, especially given the way that Chapter 9 is going to end. Until then, I hope that you enjoy this chapter.

I really have to thank everyone that has expressed an interest in this story. From my gifted beta Arty Esbee d'Arc, to all the people that have left reviews and words of encouragement. I honestly didn't think I'd even make 20 reviews, and now I might actually break 100. It's more than I ever expected, and so I can't express my gratitude enough. Thank you.

**EDIT: **I fixed a slight continuity snarl with the park bench. Thanks to those that pointed it out.

Disclaimer:** I, of course, do not own any of the characters of the Haruhi universe, please don't sue me (strangely flattering as it would be).**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

To call it a strange scene would have been an understatement. Maybe two dozen or so TIF officers lay motionless on the ground, Asahina (big) among them. Fujiwara and I were both left speechless, but Asahina-san (medium) knew exactly what to say.

"Thank you, Nagato-san. Without your help, this wouldn't have been nearly so successful."

She gave a polite bow to Nagato, as if they had just finished exchanging business cards or something similarly ordinary. Nagato merely nodded and satisfied, Asahina-san turned to me.

"Before I came to free you, I knew I had to figure out some way to keep control of the situation in case we weren't able to sneak away. That's when I thought of Nagato-san. I explained the situation to her, and she agreed to help. That's why it took so long for me to come and get you."

"Establishing data jurisdiction over this area proved time consuming, given the size and the presence of numerous individuals within." Nagato elaborated. I noticed that she wasn't wearing her glasses, even though this was her from four years ago.

"At any rate," Asahina cut in, "we need to get to Nagato-san's place. We have to fix the TPDD's and return you to your own time, Kyon-kun. And of course, I'm coming with you," shed finished, much to my relief. Although it wasn't really a solution to my problems, just hearing that she'd be coming back was reassuring.

But wait, what about all of these personnel, and did you just say TPDD's, as in more than one?

"My older self's forces will have to be kept somewhere safe, for both their own safety and ours, but Nagato-san assured me that she can take care of that herself. And yes, multiple TPDD's are the problem here. You see, in cases of group transport, a massive unit driver is used, with each person in the group using a beacon unit instead of a fully fledged TPDD to cut the down the spatial interference. However I kept my TPDD just in case, and-" she opened the flap on a pocket, and tossed something at Fujiwara, which he caught "-Fujiwara's TPDD is here as well."

Fujiwara cocked an eyebrow, looking at Asahina-san with a fair degree of bewilderment. "Not that I don't appreciate the jail break and everything, but I'm not exactly going to jump on board your little bandwagon just because you saved me, even if I did enjoy what you pulled on the old hag." he said, pointing to the unconscious form of Asahina (big).

"It's true that I won't force you to help us. But it's going to be hard repairing your TPDD without any help. And besides," she continued, her tone becoming subtly playful, "I can guarantee you that if you help us, things will probably get a lot more interesting either way really soon."

Fujiwara drew back a little, genuinely startled to hear Asahina-san say such a thing, but then a half-cocked smile appeared on his lips. "You know, when you put it that way, I can't pass up a chance to grab the box and shake it hard. Count me in."

* * *

Once we got to Nagato's apartment (Asahina-san had borrowed the key) we waited for her arrival, since Asahina-san told me that Nagato would be vital in helping get the TPDDs back in working order. She mentioned that the device that Fujiwara had used had damaged the TPDDs more grievously than she had anticipated. It wasn't long before she arrived, explaining, "I have stored the time locked TIF officers in a pocket dimension to ensure that they will not be discovered or disturbed. They will be released when their threat to you returning to your proper timeframe has been neutralized."

Essentially a fancy way of saying that she'd let them go once I was gone back to my time. But couldn't they just arrive back in my time before me, and catch Asahina-san and I again?

"That's where Fujiwara comes in," Asahina-san chimed in. "I know you're not going to like this, but I need to switch TPDDs with you once they are fixed."

Fujiwara looked at Asahina-san like she'd grown a second head. "You _do_ remember that a TPDD is keyed to its user's DNA for full functionality, right? Or have they already started frying your brain?"

While I didn't appreciate his tone, if what he said was true, then that plan was grounded before it even got off the ground.

"I didn't forget," Asahina-san replied, not even flinching at the insult tossed her way, "that's why with Nagato-san's help we're going to change the DNA codes on each of our units to correspond to each other."

Fujiwara's reaction was instantaneous. "That's insane! Even if these units weren't damaged half to crap, which they are, it'd still take months for our best experts to change the interlock sequence on just one TPDD, let alone two, and don't even start on how heavily modified mine is!"

"No offence to our best experts, but none of them can hold a candle to Nagato-san."

"I can affect repairs to a working state, as well as change the DNA key on each unit. It will take at least 96 hours though, and the repairs cannot be guaranteed to bring either unit back to full functionality."

Fujiwara still didn't seem entirely sold on the idea though, so it wasn't surprising when he asked, "What's the point with doing this anyways? I don't really see what switching TPDDs is going to do."

Once again, I found myself agreeing with one of the people who got on my nerves the most. The fact that even he didn't know why they were doing this meant it was probably far above my head. All I really knew was what it stood for - Time Plane Destroid Device assuming Asahina (big) hadn't lied about that as well - and nothing else, let alone how they worked or why doing any of this would matter, I was essentially just along for the ride at this point. That still didn't stop me from being curious about it though.

"They will be looking for my TPDD signal, as an indication of what I intend to do next," Asahina-san answered calmly, "but since yours has modifications that make it nearly impossible to track correctly, if we switch, then at least Kyon-kun and myself can have some time before any threat of other time travellers showing up. And if you use my TPDD, you can throw them off even further."

"Why would that even matter? They'll figure it out eventually. There can't possibly be anything that you can do in that amount of time."

"You're wrong, Fujiwara." And with that eerie resolve I was so unused to from her, Asahina-san turned to me.

"Kyon-kun. I think that it's time. Time to use your trump card."

I almost couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was almost about to ask Asahina-san if she was joking, but her face told me that she had meant it completely.

"Isn't that dangerous? I mean, telling Haruhi that I'm John Smith would solve this problem, but wouldn't this kind of be like taking parts from five perfectly good cars just to fix the engine in one?"

"Perhaps, but with events proceeding the way they have been, this might become inevitable either way, and it's better to tell Haruhi before she unknowingly escalates the situation. Perhaps we can even all be there to help her through this, but that's a decision that I'll leave for you to make, Kyon-kun." Asahina-san smiled. It was strangely soothing, despite the fact that this was coming with a proposition that might literally be of world shaping proportions.

"First things first though, these TPDDs aren't going to fix themselves. I'm afraid that there's not much that you'll be able to do in the mean time, Kyon-kun. You can't risk wandering outside and running into anyone that shouldn't see you here, so you'll have to make due."

While someone else might have been a little off put from having nothing to do, I actually looked forward to having a little chance to collect myself after everything that had happened over the past couple of days. It wasn't paradise or anything, but it was welcomed nonetheless.

Of course, the universe is never one to allow me a break, so I shouldn't have been surprised at what happened next.

* * *

It had been about a day, and while I was doing my best to just relax and try to unwind, I found myself unable to stop thinking about just what would come of all this. There was another fact nagging at me too, something that in retrospect, I might have been happier simply letting go. Still, in hindsight everything is easily addressed, so when I asked a seemingly innocent question of Nagato, I didn't know half the headache that it would cause me.

It was during a point when Nagato apparently didn't have to be there to oversee the TPDD repairs, so she was in the living room, quietly reading some sci fi novel, when I asked her:

"Nagato, when you had Asahina-san and I in that room, you made it clear that you couldn't leave us for whatever reason, which is why you couldn't come back with us to December 18th that time."

She slowly looked up from her book and, blinking once, answered, "That is correct. Temporal stasis requires a high degree of maintenance. So although some autonomy is possible, it is unwise to leave the affected area for a long span of time."

Right, that makes sense, but that's also what bugs me. "Well, you see, that was for just two people, and if it makes a difference both Asahina-san and I were also willing. I doubt that any of those people in the park were, even if they were already sedated. And there had to have been at least a dozen people; wouldn't it require even more supervision?"

"You are correct."

"Okay, but then how is it that you can be helping repair the TPDDs as well, and not be concerned?"

Nagato went silent for a moment. If I didn't know better I'd almost say she seemed to be deciding whether or not to tell me something.

"I am not the one monitoring and maintaining the temporal stasis field. My expertise means that my priorities are set here, so the task of keeping the field in working order falls to my backup."

Just then there was a knock at the door. I suppose sometimes life works in just as many convenient circumstances and events as any work of fiction.

Nagato silently got up and went to the door, opening it to let her new guest in. That's when I heard her speak.

"My my, it certainly is lively in here, isn't it, Nagato-san?"

That voice that made the blood freeze in my veins . . . I could see my hands blanching, as if someone had poured ice water all over them. The sensation was crawling up my limbs and almost threatening to paralyze my body. Only one person could evoke such a reaction in me.

As much as I didn't want to, I turned around, and my eyes confirmed the truth. I could stop myself from speaking her name out loud.

"Asakura Ryoko."

"Hello. Have we met?"

You could say that.

"I don't believe I know your name, you are?"

At this point Nagato interjected.

"You may reference him as Kyon. There is no need for you to know more about this subject at this point in time."

Asakura huffed, "Very well Nagato-san, you're the boss. Anyways, it's nice to meet you, Kyon-kun."

I really wish I could say the same thing. Why is Asakura even here anyways?

"My purpose is to maintain the barrier around the guests we have in suspended animation."

You can't be serious, you mean you're the one in charge of keeping Asahina (big) and the TIF officers in stasis?"

"Indeed, is there anything unusual about that?"

Oh nothing much, it's just like leaving your child with a babysitter, mind you, in this case the babysitter is a poisonous viper!

"I want to see them."

"Why? Do you not believe that they are being properly restrained?"

It's not so much that as that I want to know that you haven't chopped them into mincemeat for your oden.

"I give you permission to oblige his request." Nagato spoke up again. At least she was taking my side on this.

"Very well." Asakura replied nonchalantly, moving to a room in Nagato's apartment that I'd always thought was simply a closet. But rather than opening the door, she brushed her hand across the wall, and as she did, it became clear like glass.

To my relief, all of the officers were inside, looking asleep and unharmed. I could also see Asahina (big) in there as well. I breathed a sigh of relief, one that didn't go unnoticed.

"No offence Kyon-kun. But you seem not to like me very much."

Why does everyone around me have to be an unusually perceptive supernatural entity?

"Is it because I'm an alien? Or is it something else? You don't seem to mind Nagato-san so much."

I had to think of something quick.

"Well, Nagato and I have a history, and there's a trust between us that's hard to replicate."

A trust that you helped cement, in a way.

"Oh, I see. Well, I'm glad that Nagato-san has made some friends. Truth be told, I was actually quite worried about her wellbeing. She chose quite a different suite of programs than I did, and I was wondering how well she'd handle human interaction."

That point somewhat caught me off guard, knowing that Nagato could have had an easier time about all of this, but didn't. I'm sure she had her reasons though.

"So tell me, Kyon-kun. I assume that you must be from the future, judging from the fact that your temporal data is somewhat displaced, and that you claim to have known Nagato-san for some time." The first part of that sentence made it seem like she was commenting on my fly being undone or something.

"You could say that, yes." I was being deliberately vague, I didn't want to give her any unnecessary information.

"Why come back to this point in time? I'm guessing it has something to do with the same target Nagato-san and I are set to monitor: Suzumiya Haruhi." Although it wasn't hard for her to guess that I was probably related to Haruhi's endeavours somehow, it was still unnerving that she did it so quickly.

"That girl does get her hands into a little bit of everything." I replied despite myself. I had to be honest about that at least, because it was true.

"She's such an interesting girl, don't you think?"

I simply stared at Asakura, not really knowing what to say. Wanting to agree, but also wanting to say that it was none of her business.

"I think that, honestly, aside from the potential for auto-evolution she displays, that she also qualifies as one of the more endearing members of the human race."

That's awfully frank of you, Asakura. I doubt Haruhi would really care for your praise, but . . .

"What exactly makes you say that?"

Asakura looked momentarily thoughtful.

"As part of my jurisdiction, I have downloaded as much information on human personality and culture as possible. As such, I have come to a conclusion: many of you seem to live with regrets, not doing things that you would have liked to do out of fear for the consequences, even if the consequences had the opportunity to be good. Suzumiya-san lives her life without such regrets, at least to the extent that I have reviewed her life. I think that humanity could learn a lot from her and those like her."

It irked me that I found myself agreeing with her, even if that mindset is what would eventually cause her to go rogue and try to turn me into a nice cut of Kyon.

To my great relief, it seemed that at this point in time Asakura had more pressing concerns then tearing me a new one, as after a brief conversation with Nagato she soon left. Whether she knew it or not though, she had managed to rile me up in a completely new way. Why did that psycho girl have to make a good point?

* * *

That night I found myself going to the roof of the apartment complex, being unable to sleep. The encounter with my unknowing arch-enemy (if I could be said to have one) had me off balance. I kept recalling something she had said to me, not today, but in her future, and my past.

"'It is better to do it and regret than not do it at all'?"

That reasoning almost got me killed. But it was also exactly the question I was staring down the barrel of at the moment.

Asakura would have done it. Asahina-san wanted me to do it. Koizumi would no doubt be against it, and Nagato would simply say that it was her job to observe. Haruhi would no doubt spill the beans in microseconds, if she were in my position.

But this was my decision, and no one else's.

There had been times that I've been tempted to tell Haruhi the truth, to say that I'm John Smith and have it over with. But they'd always been for someone else's sake before now. The thought briefly crossed my mind when Asahina-san was kidnapped, and then I considered it even more seriously when Nagato was "sick". But ever since Haruhi broke up with me, I've been grappling with the idea of telling her, all the while saying that was more for her sake than was for mine.

But was a lie.

I wanted to tell Haruhi not only for her sake, not even mainly for her sake, but for mine. I wanted her to know that I was the person she loved completely, and that it was alright for me to be that person, regardless of what that might mean for the rest of the world, even for the rest of the universe.

Where we'll go after that, or whether we'll even go together, those were things that no one, not even god itself, would know.

But maybe that was okay. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

After all, it's an adventure, right?

* * *

The next day, when Asahina-san and Fujiwara were still working on the TPDDs, that I finally got a chance to talk to Nagato. I didn't honestly know how this was going to go, but I hoped that Nagato would hear me out, and that nothing too bad would come of it. Either way, while it wasn't going to be pleasant, it was something that had to be done.

"Nagato, can I talk to you for a moment?"

She gazed up from her novel, a different one than the one she was reading this afternoon of course. And gave me a look that indicated that she was waiting for me to continue.

"I don't think it's an exaggeration for me to say that the last couple of days have been a roller coaster for me, for all of us really. I know that Asahina-san told me to use the trump card, to tell Haruhi that I'm John Smith, but to be honest, it was already something I've been considering doing, ever since I decided not to alter the past. Her encouragement, as well as that strange little conversation with Asakura pretty much just cemented my choice: I'm going to tell Haruhi that I'm John Smith. Before I do that though, I need to go forward with a clean conscience."

She simply looked at me inquisitively.

"I've debated in the past on whether to tell you, or anyone else, this, but I've never seemed to be able to get up the nerve to. But it's something that I'm quite ashamed of. Something that I feel I need to apologize to you for."

I took a breath, then continued, knowing that now I was committed, better or worse.

"When the Sky Canopy Domain attacked your bosses, and we nearly lost you, we were all there by your side. And while I pushed it out of my mind at the time, I came to realize after the fact that despite how worried I was, how mortified I was with the potential of losing one of my dearest friends . . . That a small part of me was happy. Happy that it wasn't Haruhi suffering under this calamity."

I'm rambling . . .

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I wasn't happy about what was happening to you, and I'm still kinda pissed at your boss for not giving you more support or being able to do anything, but at the same time, that was really what kicked me in the ass, and got me to admit I liked Haruhi. But it's the most horrible way ever to find out you like someone."

There was silence, and when I looked at Nagato, I couldn't really tell what she was thinking, so I chose to continue.

"I don't know if you even think it's that big of a deal. Maybe it's not. I sometimes make these things into worse situations in my mind. But either way Nagato, I needed to tell you I'm sorry for thinking that. I hope that knowing that doesn't change the way you think about me, or our friendship."

She looked at me with those obsidian eyes of hers. I wasn't sure if she was going to tell me to leave, or ask that I go forward without her help from now on. I was prepared to accept either request, I probably deserved anything that she had to say to me.

"I understand."

Wait, seriously?

"You're not even the slightest bit angry with me?"

She shook her head no.

"Such a reaction was not completely out of the question. It is a valid response to be reassured that a loved one isn't in danger. And in your case, this realization spurred you to move forward in your relationship with Suzumiya Haruhi. As such, I consider it an honour to have helped you in this regard."

Nagato, you're probably the only person in the entire universe that would consider it an honour to nearly die just so that someone like me can come to grips with the feelings he has for a strange, wonderful girl in his life. Even so.

"Nagato, thank you."

* * *

I slept more soundly that night than I had in quite a while. I was glad to know that Nagato could forgive me for thinking what I had. And with me decision to tell Haruhi the whole truth now set in stone in my mind, there was nothing to do but wait. I glanced out the window of Nagato's apartment from time to time, to see if I could recognize anyone. It also turned out that Nagato had a television - or more likely, that she produced one to help alleviate my boredom when I wanted to just let my brain shut off for a little while - and of course when Asahina-san took breaks we conversed for a little while. I think that she enjoyed the conversations to a greater extent than I did. After all, for her it had been years since she'd seen any of us, while for me it had only been a couple of days. Granted, I couldn't really tell her all that much, but still, I think that just getting to talk to me and Nagato again was something that really lifted her spirits.

Fujiwara mostly just worked, ate and slept. I guess that he just wasn't comfortable around us, or just plain didn't care. As for Nagato, she could work without sleep, but once and a while when the TPDD's were undergoing repairs that evidently didn't require her attention she joined us, although she never really said much unless Asahina-san directly spoke to her. Needless to say though, for the most part the only one with any free time on their hands was myself. I did what I could, but needless to say, whenever anyone else willing to talk was around I made a lot of conversation. Maybe that's why it eventually dawned on me.

I had come to notice that this Asahina-san was a lot more mature than the one that had left. For example, she wasn't afraid of Nagato at all. Her younger self seemed intimidated by Nagato, but now it was just like she was conversing with just about anyone else in the brigade. I didn't really know how she was going to react to Haruhi, although Haruhi had gotten less . . . affectionate with her since she started dating me. There was also the problem of how to explain her miraculous growth spurt, although if I was indeed going to throw all my cards on the table, then perhaps it wouldn't really matter that much.

It also occurred to me that although I wasn't of a mind to pay attention at the time, what with the shock of seeing the incapacitated people all around us, but Asahina-san didn't seem to have a problem with _classified information_ anymore.

"That's right. Right now I don't actually have any sort of programming or restrictions placed on me. Mind you, that's because I wasn't supposed to be sent into the field for a number of years."

Ah, that's right, she did mention something about how she wasn't supposed to be here, although it was lucky for my and Fujiwara's sake that she was.

"Yes, I don't want to think of what might have been done to the both of you if you'd have been brought back to the future and found guilty of crimes against temporality. It was so strange though. Even though I knew I wasn't supposed to be going out into the field, when I saw some officers scrambling to some urgent mission, I knew I had to go with them. I'm amazed that I didn't get caught."

"Having analyzed the situation, I can dictate that with all probability, Suzumiya Haruhi was the one responsible for your involvement in this series of events."

Both Asahina-san and I were surprised, first of all that Nagato had spoken up so abruptly (well, for her anyways), but secondly, that she seemed convinced that Haruhi played a role in this. I mean, from her perspective, I'm not even gone or anything, right?

"Indeed, from the perspective of your current timeframe, you have not been gone for even a quarter of a day. Koizumi Itsuki has taken measures to assuage both your parents and the school administrators that your absence is of no significance, should the need arise. Suzumiya Haruhi suspects nothing of your departure."

Well, that was good to know, but it still didn't explain her involvement in this.

"Subconsciously, Suzumiya Haruhi is closer to you than she is with any other person. When this part of her recognized the potential danger you were in, it set measures in place to allow for your safe return to the present, including manipulating the time stream to a degree that Asahina Mikuru was able to travel to this event without her older incarnation being aware of that fact."

I guess that's another one that I owe you, Haruhi. Although you've landed me in quite a bit of trouble from time to time, I couldn't help but now wonder how many bullets I've dodged unknowingly thanks to you. But you're not the only one I need to thank.

"Asahina-san, before we go back to the present - er, my present at least - I'd just like to thank you for everything."

"There's no need to thank me, Kyon-kun. It's the least I could do for a friend." she smiled.

But I did. "You've been through a lot, some of it at the hands of your former self even, but through it all, you've found your strength. I mean, I can hardly believe you're the same girl I know in my timeline and . . . thank you. Thank you for being you and heling me through this."

She didn't really say anything after that, but I could see her slightly tearing up. While it wasn't my intention to make her cry, I hope that she really understood what I was trying to say.

I meant every word of it.

* * *

Today was the day, the day that I went back. Of course Asahina-san was coming too, but I was still thinking about what I was going to do and say to Haruhi. This might be the most important day in my entire life.

If I wasn't careful it could also potentially be the last day that the universe exists as it currently does, if it continues to exist at all.

I pondered over these thoughts while Asahina-san and Fujiwara prepared to switch the DNA keys on their TPDDs. Nagato had prepared everything for the transfer, but apparently couldn't be there, due to potential problems arising if there were any extra genetic material. That's what Nagato said at least, I don't claim to get it, all that it really meant was that she was waiting out here with me for the procedure to be finished.

I was lost so deeply in thought that I didn't realize that Nagato actually wasn't in the room with me. By the time I realized that she was gone, she wasn't anymore, now back with a teapot and single cup. I couldn't help but remember that our first meeting in this apartment went like this. Hopefully this time she won't serve me so much tea my bladder nearly bursts.

"I believe that this may aid in 'calming your nerves' as you once put it."

Thank you Nagato. Although I've always enjoyed Asahina-san's tea immensely, you're by no means a bad brewer yourself. It was reassuring to know that our relationship hadn't changed, even after I told her what I'd been guilty over a couple days ago. But now I had a more innocent question.

"Come to think of it, Nagato, I have a question that I never did get around to asking you. It slipped my mind a long time ago, but thinking about it recently made me remember."

"Why is it that you made your recovery password my real name?"

Nagato simply gazed at me for a long time. If I didn't know her better I'd almost swear that she was lost for words, but that couldn't be the case.

"While my main mission has been to observe Suzumiya Haruhi. My interactions with others, specifically the group known collectively as the 'SOS-Brigade', have also been an important factor in my development."

Well, that makes sense, but at the same time it doesn't really answer my question.

"Above all. My interactions with you are what lead to the realization of my first malfunction."

Wait, are you telling me that.

"It was through interaction with you that I gained emotional awareness."

I almost couldn't believe what I'd just been told. Knowing that I was the one that caused all of those problems that Nagato had to go through was a punch to the gut somewhat. But knowing that I was also the one that apparently fostered her emotional growth? That alone I hoped made up for it in her eyes.

"Overall, the positive aspects of my growth have, in my ascertaining, outweighed the temporary negative aspects. That, among other reasons, is why I have come to aid you now, and will continue to do so for as long as necessary."

Wait, are you telling me that you even knew that this would happen?

A slight nod.

Of course I should have known. Nagato could probably see hundreds, if not thousands of years into the future if she wanted to, but she didn't because of her duty to observe. Still, she even nearly broke that duty plenty of times, if only to help me.

"It is true that I had knowledge of select events, but my 'foresight' as you would call it, is not absolute. I was not aware of which decision you would make in the events that unfolded last night."

Wait, so for all you knew I could have undone practically everything, and you would have been ok with that?

Nagato once again stopped. This time I was actually sure that I was seeing an amazingly rare event: this petite girl, with knowledge that probably outweighed the entirety of the human race, was lost for words.

"While an undesirable outcome was a possibility, I personally chose not to inject. I also calculated that the choice that you would make would be to not interfere in the events as they unfolded."

Ah, so I've just got a lousy poker face and I'm easier to read than a large print novel, good to know.

"Incorrect."

Now it was my turn to be lost for words, because I honestly couldn't believe what I heard next.

"While the terms you described do correlate somewhat, the utterance is incorrect. I believe it would be more apt to say … that I had faith in you."

Nagato. If no one ever gives me a kind word again, I think that might be enough to get me through the rest of my life, even if I live to be a centenarian.

So, thank you, Nagato. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

The interface who perhaps knew me better than anyone else in the world, even Haruhi, simply gave another nod. But it was enough.

It wasn't long after that that the transfer process finally ended, and we were ready to go.

"Kyon-kun, I think it'd be best if we use the same coordinates to go to the future. In other words, if we stay in Nagato-san's apartment, but just move forward to the correct time."

I don't see any real problem with that.

"Well, thank whatever that I can finally get you guys out of my hair. No prizes for guessing that I'm hardly a people person." Fujiwara interjected.

Despite that, I couldn't help but wish him good luck.

"You don't need luck when you're as good as I am. And remember, you guys had better shake that box damn hard, I don't want to have given my TPDD away for nothing." he smirked.

"You should close your eyes, Kyon-kun. It's time."

And so, the world went dark, and everything went silent.

Present day, here I come.

* * *

When I opened my eyes, essentially nothing had changed, except for the fact that Koizumi was now standing in the apartment. It looked like everything worked.

"I'm afraid that's not quite the case." the esper stated.

"There has been an error in the transmission of data through the time stream." Nagato added.

Wait, was does that mean? Have I become my own grandfather or something? Asahina-san, what's going on?

Looking at the TPDD, she glanced worriedly at me.

"Kyon-kun, the date."

She showed me the time index on the device. The year and month were dead on, but the day was three days later than what it had been initially set for.

Wait, that means that I've been missing for three days?

"Indeed. And although myself and Nagato-san have been able to convince your parents and the school of your whereabouts, there is another, more urgent matter at hand."

Haruhi.

"Suzumiya Haruhi has grown increasingly despondent in your absence. She has sealed herself within the SOS-Brigade clubroom, and unbeknownst to her, has created a barrier that all attempts have failed to penetrate to this point."

Perfect, just perfect. Can't we just reset the TPDD and go back to the correct day?

"I'm afraid not. The circuitry is nearly burnt out, and even if we repair it again, I'm not sure that another trip wouldn't alert the other time travellers to our presence." Asahina-san, it's not befitting that you have to be the barer of news that horrible.

"I'm sorry that that's not the end of the bad news," Koizumi spoke up once more. How could this situation possibly get any worse?

"The Organization has caught wind of what we might be attempting to do, and I believe that short of deadly force, they are willing to go to nearly any length to stop us. Even Mori-san and Arakawa-san may be attempting to interfere in any way they can."

Koizumi, for once I wish that the look on your face was disingenuous, because this is the most worried I've ever seen you. We've effectively gone from being on the offence to getting pinned down in one second flat. Nagato, I don't suppose you can just teleport us straight to the school or something?

"I cannot. The barrier that Suzumiya Haruhi has established is interfering with nearly all types of information referral within a huge area."

Why does my luck have to ride a rollercoaster? One minute it's fantastically high, and then so low that this kind of thing happens at the worst possible time. A cheesy fiction couldn't get any worse than this.

Of course, having said that, my phone immediately rang. Apparently I was getting a text message. I almost didn't dare check it, but it couldn't possibly get any worse, right?

"I see that your phone just got back on the grid. Meet me in the apartments back lot in five mintues, bring everyone."

Unknown Name, Unknown Caller. I was getting too many of these lately.

Of course it was obviously a trap. I asked Nagato what the odds of her being able to handle the situation if things went horribly awry were.

"I hold jurisdiction over this space. When the data indicated that the time transfer had accumulated errors, I began planning options for your arrival as best as possible under the circumstances."

Well, I suppose that if they were coming en masse that at least we could make a decent stand here. We'd better prepare for the worst.

* * *

We all got downstairs, looking anxiously out the windows into the back lot (well, except Nagato, who I'm not sure has ever been anxious about anything). We were all a little surprised when a single large vehicle screeched into the lot. I was expecting a little more of a welcoming crew than this. The behemoth of an automobile almost looked like it was about to crash through the back doors, sending us scattering, but it stopped just short. It was an imposing sight, the windows tinted black just like the rest of the car. Of course, our collective awe was cut a little short.

"Heys guys! I figured you could use a rides!"

My eyes must have been playing tricks on me, because I swore that the window just rolled down and that Tsuruya-san was in the passenger seat, beckoning us to get in. You guys are seeing this too, right?

I looked around and got the same confused look from everyone else, barring Nagato of course, who merely started to walk towards the monstrosity. I guess that if anyone knew that this wasn't a trap, that it'd be her.

Of course, before Nagato could get all the way to the vehicle, Tsuruya-san's gaze landed squarely on Asahina-san. Before nearly any of us could react - and that might have included Nagato - Tsuruya-san was out of her seat and practically tackling her friend with a hug. I couldn't help but grin despite the seriousness of the situation when Asahina-san gave a little squeak as Tsuruya-san came close to manhandling (or womanhandling?) her.

"Mikuru! I thoughts you were gone! I'm so happys to see ya again! Hey, did you get taller? I think your boobs got bigger too!"

All of us, barring Tsuruya-san and Nagato, went a little red at that comment, but when a couple of us assured Tsuruya-san that there would be time to catch up later, she finally yielded to letting go of a very embarrassed Asahina-san.

After she all got in, we realized that Arakawa-san was the one driving. I guess I should have realized what with the deft manoeuvring. But weren't you out to stop us?

"Wells, not really." Tsuruya-san took the liberty of answering for him. "I kinda figured that something was up when everyone in The Organization started going all squirrelly."

That's right, Koizumi once mentioned that your family were major backers of The Organization. Of course I had no idea that you knew so much, Tsuruya-san, although I guess the signs were there the entire time.

"Well, I still don't knows a lot about all of this, but I figured that you guys could use a hand. After all, sometimes in order for things to work out, they needs a helping hand, right Kyon-kun?"

Tsuruya-san, remind me after this is all over to add you to the ever growing list of people that I owe more than I could possibly ever repay to.

That familiar uproarious laugh filled the spacious interior of the vehicle.

"Nah, don't worry about it Kyon-kun. It's the least I can do to help yous out after all the fun I've had with all of you!" She was determined to completely wave off any debt, it seemed.

"Besides, when I saw that Mori-chan and Arakawa-kun were kinda wondering about something, I figured that I might as wells tell them to do what they thought was right. I just gaves them a helping hand! Mori-chan is trying to get everyone else to look the other way though, so she couldn't make it."

I was surprised that Mori-san and Arakawa-san were also in on this, but I was thankful nonetheless.

"I believe that in situations like this, for better or worse, a person needs to follow their heart," Arakawa-san finally spoke up from the driver's seat. Looking out the window, I could also see that we were actually at our destination: the school filled the windshield.

We came to a smart stop in the parking lot, where Arakawa-san and Tsuruya-san wished us the best of luck for, and I quote, "Whatever crazy stuff you need to do." (Tsuruya-san's words, not mine)

Surprisingly, the school was completely abandoned. Shouldn't there be classes right now, or at least some janitorial staff?

"The space that Suzumiya Haruhi has generated has begun to cut itself off from the outside world."

I guess Nagato's statement meant that we got here in barely the nick of time.

My legs were going as fast I could will them to, when we reached the stairs to go up to the second floor my only thoughts of were what I needed to finally tell Haruhi. Unfortunately, when I got to the top of the stairwell, I arrived alone.

I turned around, only to see that in the middle of the stairwell, Koizumi, Nagato, and Asahina-san seemed to be pressing against something that wasn't there.

"We're being forcibly ejected from this space," Koizumi shouted, as he took a step backwards.

"I'm sorry Kyon-kun, but it looks like it's up to you," Asahina-san yelled.

Nagato merely looked at me, although her gaze told me that she was wishing me the best in her own way. It was like a forced party separation in an RPG, I just hoped that I was at a high enough level to handle whatever came next. I won't let you guys down though, not after all of this.

My feet carried me to the clubroom door. This was it. Whatever happened next, I knew what I needed to do.

As I opened the door, Haruhi looked up, clearly startled that someone else had managed to get here.

One thing was immediately apparent: she looked like hell.

She clearly hadn't been sleeping, and her eyes were red from crying. Still, when she saw me again, a certain fire started to burn in them again. At the same time though, something was off.

"Hmph, I'm surprised to see you again." she said almost wearily.

Believe me Haruhi, I would have been here sooner if I could have been, but I'm afraid that sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to.

"A convenient excuse. I'm amazed you even came back at all. I mean, why should anyone of you come back here? You all decided at the same time to abandon me, so why should I care what any of you do anymore?"

"Haruhi, be reasonable. No one has abandoned you. I know what it must seem like, but it was beyond our control."

"Oh, isn't that a convenient excuse. I'm sure everyone agreed to that one pretty quickly." She said, lowering her head back onto her arms; she'd been cradling her head before I entered the room. Although her tone was tired more than anything else, there was also a definite tone of anger in them as well, which worried me.

"I tried to be a better person, I honestly did. But it doesn't matter, since no one cares anyways. It's like I'm just a tertiary portion of their lives, someone they can take or leave at their own discretion. So if that's how it's going to be, then I don't care anymore."

"You can't really mean that Haruhi, not after everything that all of us have been through!"

"Like hell I can't!" she snapped, her anger with everyone, with me, obvious. She glared at me the best she could considering the state she was in, and I was kind of surprised my head didn't explode just from that.

"I've made mistakes, I know. But I tried, Kyon. I tried to be a better person. But why should I bother when no matter what I do it'll never be enough for anyone?"

"Haruhi, I know how badly what's happened in the last few days has hurt you, but you need to trust me when I say that there were events beyond the our control."

The glare intensified.

"You keep saying it's that simple, but it's not!" She looked away, and in a cold tone, added, "Actually, maybe for you it is, since Mikuru-chan, Koizumi-kun, Yuki and you are all more open with each other than you are with me."

With eyes burning, her glare shot back at me. "I was the one who made this club, but you're the one they admire, the one they trust. So why can't they trust me? Why can't _you_ trust me?"

Even though it was an offhand statement, I could feel myself almost being pushed back, like this reality was beginning to reject me like it had rejected everyone else. I had to act now.

"Listen, Haruhi. I know that this is going to be unbelievable to you. But there's something you need to know."

She looked at me sternly, but kept silent. At least she was giving me a chance, which meant there was some hope.

"You told me days ago that you were breaking up with me to try to find someone else. A man that you consider your first love. I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, because he was one of the first people that accepted your love of the extraordinary without criticizing you. After all, he helped you make those drawings, that message, 'I am here' on that Tanabata night four years ago."

No response. It still might not be enough. I had to keep going, the whole world might be at stake!

"That man, who was carried a high school girl on his back, who was wearing a North High Uniform. He changed your life that night. And when you asked for his name, he gave you a name that was clearly a pseudonym, but it was all you knew him by. That name was John Smith. And I know all this because, well, Haruhi. I am John Smith."

I had imagined more than a few times in my mind, how this situation would play out. I had imagined her being almost too shocked to reply, or being ecstatic like her counterpart was in that alternate universe. But what happened next defied all my expectations.

Nothing, no look of shock, no epiphany playing across her face. She didn't even get up. But the shock of that was nothing compared to what she said next:

"Idiot. Why don't you tell me something I don't know already?"

* * *

**Author's Notes:** The penultimate chapter is here at last. Sorry it took so long to write this, but separated from its sister chapter it really took on a life of its own again. Most shockingly of course is that Haruhi knew that Kyon was John Smith! But when did she figure this out, and how, and what does this mean for Kyon, now that his trump card turned out to be a Joker? All the answers will be in the final chapter of The Severance of Haruhi Suzumiya coming soon-ish, hopefully.

At any rate, I hope that this chapter was worth the wait. Once again I'd like to thank Arty, my beta who has infinite patience and knows what scenes need that extra polish, or need to be dropped entirely. And as always, thank you to the all the people who have reviewed, put this story on alert, and added it to their favourites. It's because of your interest that I've been able to tackle this project with such gusto, and I hope that the ending I have planned will prove to be a suitable climax to a piece of fiction that I've really enjoyed writing.

On a more mundane note, you may notice rather soon that all the chapters of Severance will be reuploaded. There is no cause for alarm, it's just that my previous story breaks seem to have disappeared, so now I'll have to replace them with the horizontal ruler, which is better than nothing.

Anyways, until next time!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Haruhi knew. She knew I was John Smith.

This situation was beyond imagination. Now I know how Orpheus must have felt when, after all the effort he went through in journeying to the Underworld, he turned around mere steps from the surface and witnessed Eurydice whisked back to the depths. Defeat snatched from the jaws of victory.

Of course, there were also a million other questions, those in the lead being how, when, and why.

"You don't deserve any answers, when you were the one keeping secrets from me this entire time." Haruhi indignantly replied, probably guessing what I was thinking, "but," she continued, "I've always been honest. I don't believe in keeping secrets, especially from the people you're supposed to care the most about."

She and I both knew that didn't make sense, because she had obviously been keeping the secret that she knew about my secret - could this get any more confusing - for at least a while now. There was something off about this, all of this, but I couldn't seem to focus on what it was

"Of course, I didn't always know that you were John Smith," she said. "I have to actually complement you on that one. I always said that it'd be a thousand light years too early to pull the wool over on my eyes, but you've been doing it since practically the day we met."

This wasn't helping to clarify anything, since I haven't been "John Smith" for that long. It was only months after I met Haruhi and the rest of the Brigade for the first time that I assumed that false name on that fateful Tanabata night.

"Judging from that look on your face, you really don't remember, do you? Well, just think about it. Before we formed the Brigade, we had a couple of conversations, mostly you annoying me."

The feeling was mutual, I assure you.

"But I remember the day, the time in the classroom when you actually said something intelligent: namely how I changed my hairstyle each day."

Well, of course I remember that - how could I forget all the ribbons and buns and sometimes ponytails that she would sport from day to day?

"That was when I asked you point blank. That was the first time that you decided to lie to me."

"_Have I met you before? A long time ago?"_

Those words suddenly blazed through my mind like a meteor flying across the night sky. She had known even from that day?

"When I first met John Smith, I was young, and it was dark. But I was far from stupid or naïve."

Haruhi, you've been both of those things plenty. But you've also been incredibly sharp at what must be the worst possible moments, like that one.

"So when someone in my class, someone that happened to be from North High, that looked like John Smith - well, as much as I could make out that night - and more importantly, sounded exactly like him, and had the exact same melancholy attitude. Well, Kyon, you tell me, what was I supposed to think?"

Right now I'm a little too busy cursing your near photographic memory to reply, Haruhi.

"So I asked. I didn't come right out and say you were John Smith, because that would take the fun out of it. But when you answered, you simply said "Nope". But the way you said it, the look on your face, you were resolute. There was no way you were lying, or that's what I thought at least."

You're right Haruhi, I wasn't lying. I had the perfect cover story. I didn't even know that I was John Smith, because from my point of view, we had only met a couple of days before. You know I'm really starting to loathe time travel.

"So I let it go, chalked it up to a strange coincidence. I mean, it had been years since that night. Maybe I remembered wrong, or maybe you were just enough like him to remind me of him without actually being him. After all, John Smith should have been long gone from North High by the time I actually showed up, not a freshman that just happened to be sitting in front of me."

I have to admit that I would have been just as incredulous. Unfortunately, actually living through this strange series of events, experiencing them first hand didn't leave much room for sceptical criticism unfortunately.

"It wasn't long after that that the SOS Brigade was formed: your idea, my initiative. I gathered up all of the elements I thought should be present in the greatest club: a silent but dependable figure in Yuki, the innocent appeal of Mikuru-chan, the mysterious aloofness of Koizumi-kun. And yet, all the while, you were there as well."

She looked at me, and I almost thought she was going to stop and do . . . well, I had no idea. Hug me, punch me, erase me from existence . There was something about her, something else there. She was angry, sure, but not nearly as angry as she was trying to appear to be. But what else? I've seen her act this way before, I know I have, but this wasn't the kind of sulking that she does, and it wasn't her melancholic mood either . . .

So what was left?

"At first I made the excuse to myself that since you had suggested the idea, it was only right to have you along. Then, even though you complained about everything and always ran counter to what I did for the most part, I made it into a challenge: I'd make you understand, make you have fun, whether you wanted to or not. And you did, even though you would never admit it. Sure, there were times when you were genuinely angry with me, but there were also a lot of times when even though you were grumbling, you were still enjoying yourself."

Haruhi was right of course, as usual: despite the somewhat rocky start, I wouldn't change all of this for the world.

"But things were changing. Slowly, subtly, but they were definitely changing. I couldn't put my finger on it, but there were moments after certain dates when you just wouldn't look at me, or any of the other members of the club, the same way you used to. At first I thought that it was just you getting used to everyone in the beginning, but then it started happening even after we'd known each other for a while."

If that's true, then she's the only one of the two of us that must have noticed, because to me she's always just been Haruhi.

"Like the day after our first Tanabata celebration in the club room: the day after you looked at me, just the way you looked at me sometimes after that, like things had changed in some major way. You didn't think I noticed, but I did, and I never could shake that nagging feeling, no matter how hard I tried."

And people say that I have a knack for seeing subtle emotional cues on people's faces. I wasn't even aware that I was doing any of this, but of course it made sense, since it was after the first Tanabata that I officially became John Smith. At the time I didn't even think about what she said when she first met me, but to think that she remembered.

But then, of course she remembered; to her it wasn't some stupid throwaway comment, it was a pivotal question.

"And then, after we started dating it became so overpowering. I couldn't shake the thought that you were John Smith every time I looked at you. I thought I was going crazy, but I needed to know. So when I broke up with you, I told you a description of him, and thought that if you were him, then it would be easy for you just to come clean and admit it. But nothing. And then you act like I'm not supposed to be hurt, like I'm not supposed to feel betrayed? And then you disappear. No one knew what had happened to you, not even your parents could give me a real answer! I mean, I don't even know why you're here now. Probably because the other three begged you to do something to keep me in the dark."

Someday, I'm going to have to ask Haruhi just how she makes these guesses. But while it is true that Asahina-san asked me to use "the trump card" this was a decision that I had to come to by myself, and I wouldn't be standing here if I hadn't.

"Haruhi, even though other people did ask, you have to believe me when I say that it was my decision to tell you. Hell, I've wanted to tell you for ages!"

Okay, maybe not the whole truth, but that's another matter entirely.

"Don't try and feed me that, Kyon. You've always been their leader more than I have. They've confided in you, trusted in you, been friends to you, more than they ever have to me!"

Well, I couldn't deny that, but it's not like Nagato, Koizumi, and Asahina-san could just wander up to you and say "Hey Haruhi, pleased to meet you; we're the alien, esper, and time traveller you're looking for, and we want to hang out with you for no reason in particular!"

Although knowing Haruhi in her early days, she might have actually bought that.

That's another alarm bell going off in the back of my mind. Haruhi has changed, yes, but not so much that she'd be the kind of keep this kind of thing to herself. She'd come right up to all of us and scream something like "Why the Hell have you kept this from your brigade chief for so long, all of you are getting the death penalty, for real!" And while I admit that that in itself would be a bad scene, it would be more, I don't know, Haruhi of her to do.

So why is she holding back?

"They always respected you more, listened to you more. Like that time on the island, when we thought that Koizumi's uncle was murdered. Yuki wouldn't so much as budge to open the door, even though I'm the one that ordered her to keep it closed. But the second you ask, she's right there, all too willing to comply."

"Haruhi, you know as well as I do it's only because my sister was also in there that Nagato eventually opened up that door."

"Then how about every other time? And the same goes with Mikuru-chan, and Koizumi. Some days I even think that they're scared of me or something! I'm just a normal high school girl! I might have some weird interests, but I've never hurt anyone or anything like that, so why?"

Something hit my mind like a ton of bricks. The answer was in that last bit, I knew it. But what was it?

"And then everything happened. After I broke up with you, Mikuru left, and Koizumi started acting like a crazy lovesick creep, and Yuki wouldn't talk to me or tell me what's going on. And then when you disappeared, that's when I realized. All of you were in on it! It's just some sort of cruel joke! Somehow you are John Smith, and this has all been something for the sick amusement of the four of you. I've been nothing but a game!"

She was starting to rant again, but I still couldn't shake something she'd said. Come on, if there's ever a time I needed to pass a test, even if it's not on paper, it's now, so think! If only I wasn't just a normal -

Wait. That's it! Those four simple words.

Normal high school girl.

This could be all or nothing, but I've had freaky luck with hunches in the past, so here goes nothing.

"Haruhi, I can understand why you're angry. And I'm not trying to patronize you when I say that you have a right to be as mad as you are. But that's not the whole story, is it?"

A small twitch across her face. Quickly subdued, but it was there.

"What do you know? If this isn't something to be angry over then I don't know what is. It's as simple as that."

She was trying to look as mad as possible, but there was something defensive in her body language now. Could I be right?

"Except that it's not that simple. You said it yourself Haruhi, you're far from stupid or naïve. So when you realized that I was John Smith, you also realized something else: that what I told you in that café on that day so long ago was the truth."

"I don't know what you're talking about . . ."

Haruhi, if we make it through this, please, _please_ forgive me.

"Yes you do. The only time that I ever showed up earlier than anyone. And of course Nagato, Asahina-san, and Koizumi made up convenient excuses not to be there. When we sat down that day I explained to you exactly who the three of them were."

"I told you that Nagato was an alien, or rather a humanoid interface, that Asahina-san was from the future, and that Koizumi was an esper. Of course, you didn't buy a word of it."

But that was then, and this is now.

She was silent. She looked down at the floor, so I couldn't see her face, but no matter how much she didn't want to hear this, I had to keep going.

"Of course, back then you probably had every right to tell me I was full of it. After all, what proof did I have that I wasn't just trying to play a joke on you. But after you realized just who I was, you got to thinking. You thought back to that conversation, and wondered just what it would mean if I told you the truth that day."

"Stop it . . ." she barely whispered. It was unbelievably meek, but her hands were balled into fists.

"And yes, after that, you got angry, I don't doubt that you did. But then you thought about it more, and something else happened. You began to realize that if all these people, who were all you ever wished for were surrounding you. But they didn't tell you that, why? To tease you, to torment you? Surely these groups had better things to do."

"Stop it." This time was firmer, but there was also a shaking in her voice. Now her entire body was on edge.

"No, Haruhi. I can't stop, because you realized something in that instant, and you choose to run from it, but I won't let you run from it, because that's not you. Haruhi, that day you realized that if all these special people were surrounding you in secret, then you had to be more than just a normal if eccentric high school girl. No, Haruhi, you had to be -"

"STOP IT!" she screamed, with tears in her eyes.

It was at that time that everything seemed to slow down, as the wall and roof behind me exploded. I don't know if the Celestial that knocked down the wall so abruptly had always been here, and had merely been attracted to the school just now. I honestly think though, that it instantly manifested; a sort of defence mechanism of her psyche.

I didn't even have time to be shocked as it grabbed me in one of it's gargantuan plasmic hands.

As I was lifted from the clubroom I looked back to see Haruhi gaping in absolute shock. I guess that this was one time that I wouldn't be able to save the world. As the giant face - well I guess it's a face, at the moment it was the least of my concerns - loomed, some of the things on my mind were the silliest thoughts I've had, like how it was kind of warm and nice, although I'd probably be hurled or crushed in mere moments. Of course at the same time I'd have to apologize to that cave cricket and to Asakura, because I just found a new topper for the most terrifying event in my life, and it wasn't likely that the list was going to be expanded after this.

As the pressure started to come across my body I remember slowly losing consciousness, with my last thoughts being "I'm sorry Haruhi, I love you." which I'm not sure if I said aloud, not that I could have said it loud enough to matter.

And as the blackness came over me, I heard only one thing. I wasn't even sure that it was real or just my own wishful thinking, but I was sure that I heard Haruhi's voice calling out my name.

The rest was silence.

* * *

As I regained consciousness I tried my best to get a grasp of my surroundings. Looking at the greyscale sky I drew the conclusion that I was either still in closed space, or the afterlife was in sore need of a good re-decorator. The fact that I felt like I'd been hit by a ton of bricks was also hopefully another point in favour of my being alive. The most incontrovertible evidence though, was that my pillow was the lap of Haruhi Suzumiya.

Actually, maybe this is heaven after all.

"Idiot."

She laughed a little when she said that, but looking at her face, she'd been crying even more, although she looked relieved now.

As much as I didn't really want to move, I made my way to my feet. There were a couple of obvious questions though: like what happened to the Celestial, for one? I looked towards the only person capable of providing answers. She was still sitting down, looking up at me with a strange awkwardness. Of course I'd like to think that I'm a gentleman, so I offered my hand to help her get to her feet.

As she grabbed my hand though, she blurted out, almost as if she had to say it that fast to get it out.

"I killed that thing, whatever it was."

As she grabbed my hand I almost fell over into her. I mean, I guess it shouldn't have been surprising, because Haruhi created them, so I suppose that she should be able to destroy them as easily, right?

"I don't know how I did it . . . I, just . . . seeing you there like that. It was going to kill you! I called out to you, but you were unconscious, so I did the only thing I could think of."

Considering that I don't see a rail-gun or any sort of magical girl gear around here, that narrows down the field quite a bit.

"I screamed for it to stop. Then, the strangest thing happened. It looked like it was in pain, and then . . . it turned into dust."

Haruhi gestured over near the ruined wall. I can't believe I didn't notice the huge pile of white sand that now buried the corner where Nagato usually sits.

"That's how you probably survived the fall," she said, shaken.

Looking outside, I noticed a huge pile of the same stuff. It was quite different from when Koizumi and his compatriots killed one of them, but I guess that isn't surprising.

"Kyon, what you were going to say. Before that thing grabbed you. You were right."

As I turned to Haruhi again, I could see that familiar, melancholy expression. This one was true to the original, and I guess I knew why. It looks like lady luck was on my side again, even if she didn't want to be.

It was how she looked, how she was acting. I'd seen Haruhi like that before, but not often. Only twice in fact. Once when we were on that island, and she thought that someone had actually been murdered. Then, although it wasn't to the same extent, it also came through when Nagato fell ill. It was rare, but unmistakable, the way she was acting could only mean one thing:

"You were scared."

She nodded. I wasn't going to make her say it. After all, of all the emotions and moods I've seen Haruhi Suzumiya in, her being frightened of anything was by far the rarest. There was only one thing I could honestly think to do in this situation, so I walked towards her and kissed her.

It didn't get us out of closed space this time, but then I wasn't expecting it to. I think it made both of us feel a lot better though, and as I held her close in a hug afterwards, she started explaining.

"When I thought about what you said that day, about just what everyone else is, I got really excited. I mean, here was everything I had wished for. Even if I was mad, I couldn't get over the fact that here they were, right here: an alien, a time traveller, an esper, and a slider."

A slider?

"But then I began to think. I mean, if all of you guys were here, then why? Why me? What was so special about me? I didn't know the answer, but I had a feeling that if I found out, that everything would change."

Haruhi, you don't know the half of it.

"I think maybe though, I always sort of knew."

You know, until today I didn't know that a person could simply run out of the ability to be surprised. Is there a drink to restore the daily quotient of that or something? I may need it later.

"I know it seems stupid, but things were simpler back then, and I wanted to try and get that back."

"Haruhi, that's understandable, but if I've learnt anything from you, it's that people should move forward, and not dwell on what they had or didn't have in the past."

Of course, there was something else I needed to say as well.

"Haruhi, I can only speak for myself. But I think that me, Asahina-san, Nagato, and Koizumi owe you an apology. And not for what you think we do."

Now Haruhi was more curious than anything, which is good, because this was going to lead into one long story. As much as it was comfortable and sorely missed, I had to stop hugging her and usher her into a seat, taking one beside her.

"We've all had to keep a lot from you, but there's been a good reason for that."

That's what we've told ourselves at least.

"Don't get me wrong," she said. "I'm still psyched that all of you are here, even after all of this. I mean, an alien, a time traveller, an esper, and a slider all in my club!"

She was bubbling at that point, but there was that word again.

"Umm, why do you keep saying that there's a slider?"

"Well, that's what you are, isn't it? I figure that maybe you're from an alternate universe where people age a lot more slowly than here. So that's how you were there, unchanged, all years ago."

What I did next could have really gotten me into trouble, but believe it or not, I couldn't help but start to laugh. After everything that's gone on, maybe I just needed to laugh.

"Damnit, Kyon! What's so funny! Your Brigade chief's going to sock you if you don't explain, and I don't care if I knock a couple years off your life or teeth out of your mouth!" The anger was a nice try, but she seemed just as amused as I was. I guess we both needed this.

After I finally managed to catch my breathe, I explained, "Look, Haruhi. I may be John Smith, but I'm actually from here, as in this dimension, not this town. I'm 16 years old, same as you. The house and the family you've met are mine, always have been. But there's a good reason why I didn't change, and how I managed to be such a convincing liar. I hope you're ready for this, because it's quite a long story."

"Believe me, Kyon. I've got all the time in the world."

So I told her. Everything, from the smallest details to the largest and most unbelievable ones.

* * *

Well, except for the part about who she was. Baby steps, right? You don't give the climax of the story away at the beginning.

"You really chose the name John Smith on a whim?" It was her only question, as obvious as it was.

"Well, yeah. It's not like I thought it was all that important at the time."

At that point Haruhi gave me an exasperated look that would have made me proud if it hadn't of succeeded at making me feel really stupid. "Well, leave it to you to not think about such things, I guess."

"Well, Kyon. I certainly didn't know that all of you did this much, but -"

"But I still haven't gotten to the root of your concern."

She nodded.

"Well, Haruhi." I stopped, mulling over my words. This was by far the most important thing I might ever say to anyone. It might even be the most important thing anyone has ever been told in the history of mankind and the universe as a whole.

Time to take the plunge.

"All of these incidents, all of these adventures, they all have two common threads: the one you know is that they've all involved me. But what I haven't told you, is why they revolve around you."

"Revolve? Why would all of these things revolve around me?"

"Haruhi, do you know when people, especially parents, say to their children, or people they love, that they're the centre of the universe to them?"

"Of course, who hasn't heard of that kind of talk?"

"Well, Haruhi, when people say that to you, they really weren't aware of how literal they were being."

"I don't get what you're saying . . ." she looked genuinely confused.

"I guess there's no point in holding it back any longer: Haruhi you are, in all likelihood, the most important person in the universe. What you don't know, and what I'm about to tell you, is why."

* * *

"I can't claim to know all the details, I'm sure that there's some things that Koizumi, Nagato, and Asahina-san have withheld from me, and each of them have conflicting interpretations. For example, Nagato's bosses see you as some sort of data explosion, the "potential for auto-evolution" whatever that means. Likewise, Asahina-san's group knows you as the source of a series of temporal distortions and time quakes, as well as the reason they can't travel backwards in time past a certain date that happened only a couple of years ago."

"But why am I so important? What is it about me that has everyone interested in everything I do?"

"Well, no one knows the details for sure. But we know that the night that I helped you write that message in chalk on that Tanabata night represents something. That's why I had to go back, and why John Smith came into existence, so to speak. But each group thinks that even before that you were the source of the data explosion, the time quakes and temporal distortions, and the closed spaces and Celestials."

"Wait, closed spaces, Celestials? What are those?"

Well, Haruhi, you know how when people get upset they have different ways to deal with it?

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, some people brood, some people hit things, some people cry. You make closed spaces and the Celestials that destroy them."

"You mean that those giant blue things running around like Godzilla are my form of stress relief?"

"Well, yes and no. The thing is, if they were left unchecked, well, bad stuff would happen. That's why Koizumi and the rest of the espers stop them, and that's why some of them believe what they do."

"And what do they believe?"

Moment of truth.

"They think, Haruhi, that you're God."

She sat there, a look of utter disbelief across her face, trying to reply, but failing to find the words.

"Either that, or they see you as some sort of proxy to God, an inheritor of God's power, or a God in training, if you'd like."

"There's just no way."

"Haruhi, I don't know if any of those three groups are correct. Personally I haven't given it much thought. But I can tell you that you have unearthly levels of influence in areas that you don't even know. There's undeniable proof of that."

"What, that I have powers," she said, still in disbelief, "yeah, right, if I have powers then how come some of the insane things I've wished for on a random whim haven't come true?"

"No one knows for sure, but some think that because you only use your powers subconsciously, that you don't have full control, and that your rational mind somehow prohibits you from manifesting any overt signs of your powers. Still, I can name plenty of incidents."

"I'm not sure I want you to . . ."

She looked utterly shaken. Then again, I guess this was about the best that someone who's just been told they may have near omnipotent powers just under the surface would be taking it. Somehow I thought that she might be pleased, or smug about it, but I knew that for all her quirks that Haruhi was pretty rational when everything was said and done.

"Please just hang on a little longer," I said, leaning over and taking her hand in mine. A squeeze was enough to tell me that she was ready for me to continue.

"Haruhi, to put it bluntly, you can make the impossible possible. I've seen your powers at work with my own eyes. You've made animals transform into extinct versions of other animals, you've made huge amounts of data fit in a doodle, you've made the weather change and cherry trees bloom out of season. And you've also come close to starting the entire world, actually, the entire universe, over again."

"There's no way I could do that Kyon, don't be so dramatic."

"Haruhi, the dream you had, when I told you that you looked good in a ponytail. That wasn't a dream."

I saw the revelation in her eyes.

"But . . . That means that I could have. I could have really destroyed the world?"

She looked heartbroken. It wasn't easy for me to even nod in affirmation, at which point she broke down and started crying.

"Kyon, I, I didn't know. I didn't mean to put people in danger, if I'd have realized."

"Haruhi, it's not your fault." I assured her, taking kneeling down and hugging her while she remained seated. "Everyone who knew thought that it was for the best that you not know about your powers, for fear of what might happen if you did. But you know what, I never thought that it was fair to keep that from you, regardless of the consequences."

"In fact, there was even a time when I could have made the choice to give your powers to someone else."

She looked up in surprise. "Really? But, if I was, am, so dangerous, then why didn't you?"

"There was more than one reason. First off, even though you did unknowingly cause trouble from time to time, I didn't think it was fair for you to be stripped of your powers, and have them given to someone else. The bigger factor though, was that I would have had to leave the Brigade, which meant leaving all my friends, and you."

I continued on, although remembering the details was unpleasant to say the least.

"When Nagato was in trouble, they gave me the choice again. And for a while, I was seriously considering it, because of everything that Nagato had done for me, saving her life was the least I could do for her. But she herself told me to decline, and in talking with her and going through that situation, it was what made me realize that I loved you."

"Kyon . . . I . . ."

I gave her the most reassuring smile I could.

"It's a decision that, as recent events proved, I wouldn't change for the world."

"Thank you, Kyon." she whispered. But she looked into my eyes with concern on her face.

"Now that you've told me all of this, though, where can we go from here?"

That was a good question, one I didn't have an answer to. But I could guess.

"Well, now that you know, I guess that Nagato would say something around the lines of you "becoming self-aware". I don't know what exactly that entails, but, Haruhi, this means that you can go anywhere you want, do anything you want. The entire universe is yours to explore now."

I thought that she'd perk up at the thought of that, but instead her shoulders slumped.

"No." came the blunt response. Her face turning dead serious again.

"What do you mean no, Haruhi? Isn't this what you always wanted?"

Despite looking downtrodden she actually chuckled, "Kyon, as much as I love you, you can be so dense sometimes. Of course I want this, but not this way!"

I was the one who had questions now, but what I saw made me believe that I might not have enough time left to get them answered.

"Haruhi . . . Your eyes."

"What about my eyes?"

"They're glowing."

And it wasn't just them, her entire body was starting to take on a feint luminescence.

"No, no! I don't want this, I don't want to become whatever this is making me become!"

She was desperate. Did someone have a choice of whether or not they wanted to become a God-like being? From what I'm seeing now, and the ever increasing brightness, it looked doubtful. Now that Haruhi knew what she was, was her apotheosis guaranteed?

"Kyon, I can't stop it, I can't control it! You have to get out of here, I don't know what's going to happen."

Her entire body was a golden shining light now, and was beginning to rise through the air. In any other situation it would have been beautiful, but this time.

This only made me angry. And so, I did what might go on the record as the single most stupid thing I've ever done.

"Haruhi! You fight this thing! If you don't want to go, then you aren't going anywhere, cosmic force and glowing be damned! And that's an order from your boyfriend!"

That's right, I gave Haruhi Suzumiya an order.

I could hear her struggling against it, but while her rate of ascent had decreased, she was still taking off. That's when I decided to do the second single most stupid thing I've ever done.

Using whatever energy I could muster, I jumped onto the table, and then leapt towards Haruhi with all my might and grabbed her in a hybrid tackle hug.

"Haruhi, I'm sticking by you, even if it kills me, I'm not leaving you again!"

I could see that she still had a body past all the glowing and shining. I don't know how I managed, but I got face to face with her. I wasn't going to give her up without a fight.

"Kyon, I'm scared," I heard her whisper.

"I know Haruhi, so am I. But at least we're scared together. NOW FIGHT THIS THING!" I practically screamed before I was interrupted by her kissing me. I didn't want to lose sight of her, but closing my eyes just came naturally. All I remember was the glow seemed to permeate everything.

Until again, darkness closed in.

* * *

As I regained consciousness I made a mental note to avoid fainting in the future, it was getting really old.

"He's finally coming to."

"Thank goodness!"

Wait, those voices. I opened my eyes to see Koizumi hovering mere inches from my face.

"Do you seriously have to violate my personal space even when I'm unconscious?"

"My apologies, Kyon." he said, finally granting me some space by leaning back. "I was taking your vitals. We had to make sure you were okay."

The fact that I saw a teary eyed Asahina-san and a completely unphased Nagato were a good sign that I wasn't anywhere too strange. Staring up at the repaired ceiling and seeing the sunlight played across the room also bode well. Although, now that I was more awake, my chest felt strangely heavy.

Looking down, I breathed the biggest sigh of relief that anyone probably ever has, because I hadn't gained any unnecessary weight, the reason I felt so heavy was the fact that my girlfriend was laying on top of me, sleeping contentedly. Without hyperbole, I can say that this was the most beautiful sight I've ever experienced in my entire life.

I brushed her bangs out of her face. Something about doing that while she was sleeping was irresistible to me. As she came to, the first thing she noticed was that I was there with her. I think our mutual smile in that moment said more than either of us ever could.

Of course, it wasn't very long to realize that we were no longer alone in the clubroom, and as she looked around her face turned a shade of red.

"All of you are getting a penalty!" she screamed, flustered for perhaps the first time in her life. Well, so much for that glorious moment. At least with that I knew she was still our Haruhi.

Still my Haruhi.

* * *

I'm sure that people would be guessing that there'd be big changes around the SOS Brigade from this point onwards. Of course Haruhi has never been one to live up to expectations, so things have actually stayed almost the same. Of course now Haruhi knew that the people she hung around with were supernatural entities, but she'd taken to that like a duck to a really screwed up duck pond.

. . . No, I still can't come up with a better simile for that.

So, like I said, everything was pretty much back to normal. Haruhi took everything pretty much in stride. She seemed a tad disappointed when Koizumi had to explain - a couple of times - that he wasn't the type of esper that could read minds or predict lottery numbers, but she got over it pretty quickly. Of course, I knew what Koizumi could do when it comes to closed spaces, but he hasn't had a chance to demonstrate it to Haruhi since we came back.

"Suzumiya Haruhi no longer has the powers she was once in possession of."

Nagato, still ever the master of the blunt statement, told everyone in the clubroom that mere moments after Haruhi's initial outburst. I think everyone was shocked, but Haruhi was relieved. Of course, after that, she made everyone reintroduce themselves. I think that this time around she wanted everyone to be more honest, and I don't think that Koizumi, Asahina-san, or Nagato had much of a problem with that.

Of course, I relished the first time that Asahina-san got to use those two aggravating little words on Haruhi. Her reaction was priceless, but I knew if I didn't stifle my laughter that she might very well give me the death penalty. And when it came to Nagato . . . While I think that Haruhi understood more of the techno babble than I did, a lot of it still went over her head. I guess that puts Haruhi and I on even terms for once.

Truth be told, I was surprised that all five of us still gathered in the clubroom after school. I never really put much thought into what Koizumi, Nagato, or Asahina-san would be doing, or where they would be going, in the event that Haruhi ever simply lost her powers. I was worried that each of them might be forced to leave just as Haruhi was about to get to know more about them. Thankfully though, that wasn't the case.

Koizumi's reasoning was simple: since there were no longer closed spaces or Celestials, there wasn't any real need for him to remain with The Organization beyond a couple of loose associations, so he choose to stay here since he had made friends both in and out of the SOS Brigade in the last couple of years.

"I look forward to finally beating you at a game of Chess or Othello."

Well, Koizumi, I certainly hope that in the past your awful playing was part of your act, or we might be here for quite some time.

Nagato, well, that's a bit more of a complex case. She told the rest of us that she had managed to record some of the data from Haruhi's ascension, and that even though Haruhi didn't change in the end, that data has proven pivotal to her boss' search for the potential of auto-evolution. Of course when I asked what this had to do with her sticking around, she simply stated in her usual deadpan that she was rewarded for being the one to collect said data, and as her reward she choose to stay here. Although I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth, I couldn't help but ask why.

"I find the human condition, intriguing."

Coming from you, Nagato, that might be the most rousing endorsement of humanity ever uttered.

Finally, there was Asahina-san. Of the three of them, I was most sure of her departure. After all, her family, her old friends, her old life, all of those were in the future. So when she said that she was staying I was a little taken aback.

"Well, you see, according to history, I stay in this time period predominantly until the end of high school."

Let me go on the record again as saying that time travel is far too confusing, and if I never do it again it'll be too soon. I'm just thankful that I won't have to give up Asahina-san's delightful tea or her charming company for at least a little while longer.

Of course, when I brought all of this up with Haruhi, I made sure that she understood that things might not be like this forever, and that we still all might have to part ways one day. Her response?

"The future is the future. So let's just enjoy what we've got right now!"

Of course, her and I were still going out. I think that if our relationship handled all of that, then stuff like mortgages and babies might be a walk in the park, although we'll find out when we get there. Maybe I'm getting a bit too ahead of myself.

Something still bothered me though.

* * *

It was the first Sunday since we'd come back, the first city wide mystery search. Of course it was time to split into the usual groups. But I think that in the entire history of the Brigade that this had never happened: Haruhi and I were finally on a team of two. As the other three walked away to try and find some anomalies - I guess there were still rogue data entities about here and there - I was left with Haruhi and the lingering question of exactly what the two of us were going to do. I mean, we've been on plenty of dates at this point.

"I know we have Kyon, but this isn't about going off somewhere to look for mysteries, or just goofing off and having a good time while the other three are gone," she said. She had stopped me from getting up from the booth to leave - if you're curious the punishment she inflicted those three was forcing each of them to take turns paying for a round at the café, (my wallet has never been more thankful) - but what then.

"Kyon, I know that since we've come back you've wanted to ask me. And while you've had plenty of chances, you haven't taken them." she looked at me thoughtfully.

Even without her godlike powers, Haruhi was still an inhumanly good reader of emotions, mine in particular. And as usual, she was right. There was something on my mind, but I hadn't decided just how to ask her, or even if I should. I mean, how do you ask someone a question like -

"You want to know why I didn't want to become a God, or at least a god-like being." She completed my thought for me.

I would have asked Haruhi when the question first arose, back in that closed space. But someone forcefully transcending to a higher plane of existence kind of puts a damper on 20 questions. And since then it's almost like I haven't wanted to ask.

"But why, Kyon? I know that you're curious, I can see it. That's why I arranged this."

Wait, you rigged this? How, and more to the point, why?

"Well, I asked Yuki to do it, and she agreed since it wasn't exactly much trouble for her to alter the dye on some toothpicks. And I wanted to talk to you about this here, because it kind of seemed appropriate. It's a mystery you want solved after all, isn't it?" she smiled.

Well, can't really argue with that. But that still leaves the actual question itself. My first uttering of it still echoing in my mind:

"Wasn't exploring the unknown exactly what you'd always wanted?"

"Not what I've always wanted, Kyon. It's still what I want" came the reply. How can you be so incredibly nonchalant about this?

"Okay, I get that. But wouldn't having the power to go anywhere, and maybe, for all any of us knew, do anything, wasn't it exactly the thing you needed to go off exploring?"

She cupped her chin and stayed silent for a minute or two. I couldn't really imagine how she might be trying to address this, but I'm hoping that it will be more understandable than one of Nagato's diatribes.

"I know this might sound really strange. But don't you remember what I said when I was ascending?"

She had said a few things, but one of the first she said upon realizing what was happening was, "Not like this."

So wait, why not?

"Kyon, you should know me well enough by now to know. But just in case you've gotten soft, let me remind you: I think that a person has to strive for what they want. I mean, I still feel kind of awkward that most of the different types of people I wanted to meet formed a club."

"So, wait. You're telling me that the reason you didn't want that power is -"

"Because it would have taken the challenge out of it!"

It was a good thing I was sitting down, because that little tidbit of information would have knocked me off my feet otherwise for sure.

"And that was enough of a reason to not want to go?" I finally managed to collect my thoughts enough to respond.

"Well, not entirely, but it was a big part of it. I didn't know all this time that what I was thinking and wishing for was actually happening. It was like being in the middle of a dream, you don't realize you're dreaming. And when I finally "woke up" the thing I felt the most of was actually guilt."

"Why, Haruhi? There might have been some dangerous situations, but you didn't know, couldn't have known."

She looked at me with regret. "Just because I couldn't have known doesn't mean that every one of you wasn't in danger. I actually already apologized to Yuki, Mikuru-chan, and Koizumi-kun. Even if it wasn't my fault directly, I just felt like it was the right thing to do, which is why I'm also apologizing to you."

"Haruhi, you don't need -"

"Yes, Kyon, I do. Of everyone, you were always in the most danger, and even came close to . . . dying, more than once! And all of this to keep things from going out of control. So, thank you Kyon." she grabbed my hands and held them tightly.

As I looked into her eyes, and saw that determination, that spark that people had always attributed to her divine nature, I think I realized something.

Somehow, someway, I think I knew that Haruhi would make the decision to stay.

For as long as I've known her, I knew that Haruhi could always be counted on one thing when given a choice: she would defy it, fight it, circumvent it. But one thing she'd never do is just unquestioningly accept it lying down.

So why should godhood have been any exception?

When Haruhi decides that something isn't right for her, nothing is going to stop her from making the decision that she thinks is right. I think that maybe I just knew that it was her choice, and that she was the one that had to make it for herself.

Still, having said that, I'm still incredibly happy that she choose to stay with her friends, and stay with me.

At that point I was dragged out of my internal monologue by the familiar strength that I've become so accustomed to. And with perfect timing Haruhi and I locked lips as I found myself awkwardly leaning over the table onto her side. As we separated she was smirking.

"Stop looking so glum, you'll give yourself grey hairs, and I'm not dating anyone that looks like an old geezer by the time they're 25. So smile! Brigade chief and girlfriend's orders!"

I may have tried to look somewhat defeated, but I knew that I was doing a bad job of it. I guess that these days Haruhi buffs my HP and MP more than she nerfs them.

"By the way, it'll be the death penalty if you ever use your authority as my boyfriend to order me around, although it was a special circumstance this time."

"Yeah, well what about flying tackle hugs?"

"Idiot." she smirked.

"Hey you never know," I said, returning to my side of the table so that I didn't fall out of the booth, "after all, it's an adventure, right?"

And beaming that million watt smile, her answer was 100%, totally Haruhi,

"Right!"

**The End**

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Author's Notes:** I'll try not to drone on, but since these are my final thoughts on this story, I have a bit to say.

It has been quite the experience. When I first wrote this story, as a one shot born out of the boredom of Endless Eight and a summer job, I never expected it to go beyond that: a simple little one shot that might get one or two reviews, and then slip quietly into the archives of the site. Here now, over a year later, and over 100 reviews, I am still boggled by the response I've gotten from the community, and the amount of people who have enjoyed the work.

I owe thanks to many people, first and foremost being Arty d'Arc. Without her help and beta skills, this story would have been nowhere near what it stands as now in terms of quality, she knew when to tell me that I was on the wrong track, and did so in a manner that encouraged me to find the right one. My thanks extends to the members of The Shambala Summit, foremost among them BKE, JonBob0008, and superstarultra. Thank you all for accepting me, and for your help with the final chapter. My final thanks has to go to everyone out there who read the story. I hope that you've enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it, and I thank all of you who left reviews: your kind words have helped me move forward and keep writing even with all the challenges and difficulties posed by life in general.

I will be back in the future, hopefully with stories equally as entertaining as this one. So, until we meet again!

And of course, for sentiments sake: **I, of course, do not own any of the characters of the Haruhi universe, please don't sue me (strangely flattering as it would be)**


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